There's More To Life
by Elven-Elements
Summary: I'M BAAAAAAACK! Yup, Keikae, Laila and Bex fall into ME. Small problem. A certain 3 bets make it pretty difficult to act normal. So when they encounter elves.. wel you can imagine what'll happen. First chap's rubbish - it does get better! Honestly!
1. Mucking Around

**DISCLAIMER**: No, I don't own Jack Sparrow, LOTR or any of Tolkein's characters, but I did make and do own the characters Bex, Laila and Keikæ.  
  
**A/N:** Ok. This is chapter 1 reposted, because I changed the format a lot later on. I'll gradually be redoing chapters 3 – 18, so it may seem a little bit weird.  
  
:: Thoughts ::  
  
P.S This story's written through Keik's eyes.  
  
P.P.S I'm not saying that you're stupid or anything, but there has been some debate over how names are pronounced, so Keikæ = Kee-kay Laila = Li-la Bex = Hmm... I wonder?  
  
On with the story....  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Chapter 1 - Mucking Around  
  
I was completely bored, sitting in the centre of town, with two friends. Utterly bored.  
  
Keikæ: Hey, Bex. I dare you to nick that policeman's wallet.  
  
Bex: What? No WAY – you do it.  
  
Keikæ: Laila?  
  
Laila: You have GOT to be kidding.... Go on Keeks – I'll give you a fiver.  
  
Keikæ: Oh, fine. I was determined to prove them it could be done. Anyway, we were doing this sort of stuff the whole time; always betting. I mean, it's not like we'd get caught, and if things really did get out of hand, Laila and Bex would get me out. I hope.  
  
I slid on my skates, tying the laces of my trainers together and hanging them around my neck.  
  
:: Here goes.... ::  
  
I pushed off, passed the copper twice and on the third pass, I grabbed him by the neck of the jacket and seized his wallet from his inside pocket. I was hoping to do it a little more subtly, but I screwed that idea – whatever I did, it probably wouldn't go unnoticed.  
  
I heard but shouting behind me, but I was away, skidding round corner so fast my roller blades were beginning to smoke. Despite that, I could hear an engine revving behind me.  
  
::How can they get worked up about such a little thing?::  
  
Ignoring this question, I decided to go off road. I span to my left, down an alleyway, though just wide enough for a car. I was still being followed.  
  
::God, how far will these people go::  
  
I turned right out of the alleyway to follow the canal, hoping the car would go strait on. No such luck. I was beginning to think this wasn't such a good idea after all. I decided that, to put as much space as possible between me and that fuming copper, I'd have to cross the canal.  
  
So – what do I do? Use the bridge? No! Course not! I'm to stupid to do that, and anyway I can't be bothered to travel the extra few metres to the bridge; I'll jump onto the roof of that barge and across onto the other side.  
  
Still, although I had found a quick way, the bridge is still quite a good option – probably why there's still a deranged Policeman behind me.  
  
::When will he give up?::  
  
Once again I ignored the main road, and went for the old one – the one with potholes all over it. I could dodge the ruts easily: I just hoped a car couldn't. This was my undoing.  
  
::SHIT! Cobbles!::  
  
Once again, I swerved left, this time to meet a London Underground station. With nowhere else to go, I jumped – with difficulty – the ticket barrier. Unfortunately, my landings were never that clean, which, I think, is why I made the most spectacular fall ever, and found myself laying on my back, hearing running footsteps and someone breathing heavily.  
  
:: I need a distraction, anything – Laila? Bex?::  
  
Keikæ: Um... Parley?  
  
"Par... what?"  
  
It was the 2-second distraction I needed. As he hesitated, I lifted my right skate and kicked him... hard. As he toppled over, I seized the opportunity to get out of here. Not able to go downstairs, I grinded down the rail and jumped onto the tube train to find Laila and Bex, grinning their heads off.  
  
I threw Laila the wallet and collapsed on the seats, laying across 4 of them.  
  
Keikæ: You owe me a fiver.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
8:00 pm  
  
The three of us slumped onto the sofa, having dragged ourselves back from the local pub.  
  
Bex: Great, so... what do we do now?  
  
Keikæ: How the bloody hell do I know? YOU were the one who set half the bar alight, causing US to get thrown out.  
  
Bex: Hey! That was a bet – and I had never smoked before.  
  
Laila: Cut it out you two. So long as you don't start drinking, I don't mind. You've never had alcohol before have you Bex?"  
  
Bex shook her head.  
  
Laila: Poor person. Ah, well – here's your money!  
  
We sat in silence for a few minutes....  
  
Bex: Lets go down to the lake.  
  
Laila and I sat forward, exchanging confused looks.  
  
::Bex, I think you have finally cracked.::  
  
Bex: C'mon, there's a little wooden boat down there tied up at the jetty – and a jet ski.  
  
::Now you've got my attention.::  
  
Keikæ: A jet ski, you say?  
  
Bex: Yep. We could nick- hem... Commandeer it.  
  
::Why the hell did I choose to carry the drinks?::  
  
I grunted as I carried my rucksack down the hill. Between us, we had three rucksacks containing an assortment of things; Alcohol, Coke, chocolate, rope, sellotape, 3 pen knives, a few lighters (one of which was in Laila's back pocket), 2 flick knives, 1 long knife to hack through any strong rope, a tip-ex and a fruit knife (Though why we had a fruit knife I don't know.).  
  
Keikæ: Where the hell did you get all this alcohol?  
  
Laila replied as casual as anything.  
  
Laila: Behind the bar just now. That's why I got Bex to accidentally set the barman's jacket alight.  
  
Keikæ: Dude, no way!  
  
Laila: Yes way.  
  
We stowed the rucksacks in the bottom of the wooden boat. For some strange reason, there was a ladder sticking up from the middle of the boat. Not knowing why it was there, we left where it was, but tied a sheet too it in true POTC spirit. We then tied the Jet Ski to the boat, after picking the lock on its chain.  
  
::Who the hell is stupid enough to leave a Jet Ski lying around?::  
  
I pushed off and jumped in the boat.  
  
::Great – this is going to be brilliant!::

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
D'ya like it? I know it's got nothing to do with Lord of the Rings at the moment but it will! Honestly! Just review it and tell me I'm not forgotten!  
  
If you did like it, click the little button that says GO! to review it and tell me why. If you didn't like it, click the little button that says GO! to review it and tell me why. If you're not fussed, click the little button that says GO! to review it and keep me company. If you haven't the slightest idea of what I'm talking about, click the little button that says GO! And review it anyway. If you don't speak the English language, you've got the wrong story – but still press the little button that says GO! And review the story in a different language. I don't mind! I just need to know what people think. Thanx!  
  
ASSBB!!

Kess ;P


	2. Sailing

**DISCLAIMER**: I've already said this – no, I don't own LOTR, POTC or anything else that I've mentioned... but I do own Keikæ, Laila and Bex.  
  
**A/N**: Phew – disclaimer over and done with.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 2 - Sailing  
  
We opened some bottles of rum after writing 'Black Pearl' in tip-ex on the side of the boat. Bex was drinking Coke. Laila was already 100% tipsy.  
  
Laila: C'mon. Let's try the Vodka, it's home-brewed.  
  
Ok, I admit. I was a little bit drunk at the time, too.  
  
Keikæ: How do you home-brew vodka?  
  
Laila: Secret! Ok, I used potatoes.  
  
::Well... deeeer.::  
  
Keikæ: That's going to be strong. Bex, drink with us!  
  
Bex: Er... No. Oh, Ok, but first we need new years resolutions – bets. I say we have to act in a certain way, for a month!  
  
I agreed loudly, not knowing or even thinking about what I was getting myself into. Bex cast an evil eye on Laila.  
  
Bex: Right, Laila, you have to act like Elizabeth Swann! You know, all prissy and stuff with an English accent.  
  
::That'll be difficult for an Australian.::  
  
We were often teased; an Aussie (Laila), a Canadian (Bex) and a South African (me), living in a flat in the middle of London.  
  
Laila: Fine. As you like singing so much Bex, the only thing you're allowed to say until February has to be in song lyrics.  
  
Bex: Deal – now... Keikæ....  
  
Bex whispered in Laila's ear, who giggled. I had a terrible feeling I knew what was coming.  
  
Laila took on the Elizabeth Swann immediately.  
  
Laila: Keikæ... we have decided for you to act like Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.  
  
::WHAT?::  
  
Keikæ: That is so unfair – just because Jack and I share the same surname doesn't mean....  
  
I looked at Laila and Bex. Bex, looking very much like Halle Berry with her short, dark hair and skin tone, was wearing a silver and grey off-the- shoulder pineapple top, a black polo neck over that, a tan fake-leather jacket, jeans and walking boots. Laila, who visited her friends in Australia every other holiday, had dark, shoulder-length hair, was wearing UFO's, a blue sports top, an old white school shirt – sleeves rolled up of course – a body warmer, a cap and waterproof ski boots.  
  
::I wish my shoes were waterproof.::  
  
I looked down at my shabby waterlogged trainers and the water in the bottom of the boat.  
  
::Whatever – it's probably just... spilt drinks.::  
  
I was also wearing a black, strappy top, a bandana, a white polo neck, black combats, a much-loved long black leather coat and my skull-and- crossed-swords pirate belt that I had won over the internet, that Laila had made me wear before we came down to the lake. I was getting the feeling they had planned this from the beginning. I sighed, knowing they wouldn't let me do anything else. There was no point in making an argument out of this. It's like making a mountain out of a molehill.  
  
Keikæ: Alright, I'll do it.  
  
And with that, Bex produced a dirty tricorn hat from the depths of her bag, and rammed it over my bandana.  
  
Bex: Perfect. Just perfect.  
  
I scowled.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
So... can you see where the story's going already? Please review – It's not illegal. Unlike what they're doing.  
  
Please keep reading. I'll update soon – I promise.  
  
Kess ;P


	3. Completely Drunk

**DISCLAIMER**: No, I don't own LOTR, No I don't own any of its characters. growls  
  
**A/N:** ThankyouthankyouthankyouMoovyLover/Jinxie!!!!  
  
Jinxie: Thank you Jinxie! How do I make it so that I can accept anonymous reviews? It's written through Keik's eyes, so the 'I' is Keikæ. Thank you most wonderful reviewer!  
  
O yeah, I may have forgotten to mention: actions

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Chapter 3 - Completely Drunk  
  
The next few hours were great fun. Not wanting to wear the lifejackets that paranoid Laila had brought along, we strapped them to the rucksacks. Then, if something did happen, as least the rum would be saved. We made up Bex, and Laila gave us really freaky contact lenses she had bought.  
  
Bex: Right Keeks. Now your turn.  
  
::God help me.::  
  
Laila: I think, she needs to look more like Captain Jack Sparrow.  
  
So, with much complaint from me, they braided my hair, using beads from Bex' bracelet, and used super-waterproof make-up (Yes, I know there's no such thing, but Johnny Depp's make-up is always perfect, even when he's just been swimming.).  
  
"Perfect!" They said in unison.  
  
::I suddenly feel very stupid.::  
  
I used a knife as a mirror. I must admit, they did pretty well; I looked like the female equivalent of Jack Sparrow – sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow.  
  
Laila: Quick! 10, 9, 8....  
  
Bex and I each grabbed a bottle of Laila's homemade Vodka and opened it. I drank first.  
  
Keikæ: Wow, That's good.  
  
Laila: 7, 6, 5....  
  
Laila momentarily paused in her countdown to take a swig.  
  
Laila: cough Wow, her voice croaky that's good.  
  
::If that's what it did to Laila, what would it do to Bex? She's never had alcohol before.::  
  
I'd soon find out. By now Laila's countdown sounded a bit weird, from the alcohol, probably. We didn't really need it anyway. You could easily hear the hundreds of people out of sight on the opposite side of the lake.  
  
Laila: 4, 3, 2....  
  
::Now for the moment of truth.::  
  
Bex tried it. By the time she had stopped gawping, she was coughing all over the place and her voice was squeaky.  
  
Bex: cough, cough Wow, That's good.  
  
Laila: 1, 0! My home-brewed vodka is officially a success! Welcome to the New Year!  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Yes, I know there's no middle earth in it yet. There will be in the next chapter. Promise. Sorry it's so short!! Please review!

ASSBB!!  
  
Kess ;P


	4. Steadily Sinking

**DISCLAIMER**: NO! To painful to say! Alright, alright, mumbles. mumbles a bit louder. FINE! I DON'T OWN LOTR!!!  
  
**A/N**: Keep reviewing!  
  
Brenda Bender: Suffer an eternity of hell.  
  
MoovyLover: thanx 4 reviewing (again) I think I'll leave Brenda Bender's review as a standing joke. Just so that everyone can see what a prat she is. And I don't mind if u use reviews as a message board. Peeps like that who say really offensive stuff should be put down, and become an international embarrassment, which, thanx 2 BB, she's already done.  
  
Allasea2: Yes, I'll try 2 make this chappie longer, but I can't make any promises... this story's a bit slow 2 start....  
  
Jupiter's Light: Yuh, believe me... it gets better. At least, it does when she meets Aragorn. Oops! Did I say that?  
  
P.S If anyone finds Brenda Bender's review offensive and wants it taken off, email me.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-  
**  
Chapter 4 - Steadily Sinking  
  
We saw fireworks going off everywhere as the boat cruised across the lake, towing the Jet Ski behind it.  
  
Keikæ: Argh! Swash, Swash, Buckle, Buckle!  
  
(Don't ask - it's a tradition.)  
  
Keikæ: Take all ya can!  
  
Laila & Bex: 'Nd give nuthin' back!  
  
We drained the nearly full bottles. I fell over backwards, Laila fell the opposite way, causing the boat to lurch dangerously, but Bex, who'd been perching on the edge of the boat, simply toppled backwards into the lake. In doing this, when her feet went up, they caught in the ladder, which keeled over. I was suddenly sober.  
  
Keikæ: Bex! Becky!!!  
  
I saw her scramble onto the Jet Ski behind us.  
  
::Phew – That was close!::  
  
Laila: Um, Keeks.  
  
Keikæ: Not now, Laila. Bex! Rebecca!  
  
Laila: Keeks!  
  
Keikæ: I said NOT NOW LAILA!  
  
Laila: KEEKS!!!  
  
Keikæ: WHAT?  
  
She suddenly seemed very calm.  
  
Laila: That ladder was a plug,  
  
"Eh?" I looked at the bottom of the boat, which was now half full with water, and where the ladder had been. There was now a large hole.  
  
Keikæ: Shit! Bail, Laila, bail, bail!  
  
Laila: Every idiot for herself!  
  
Laila simply threw herself overboard.  
  
::What an idiot!::  
  
Laila untied the rope connecting the boat to the Jet Ski and let Bex (Who was now on the Jet Ski) tow her. I started shouting at her. She knew I was joking.  
  
Keikæ: Deserter! Shit, shit, SHIT!  
  
::I need to do something incredible.::  
  
Keikæ: Shit – but what?  
  
::Something Jack Sparrowesque.::  
  
Keikæ: But – got it.  
  
I began to sellotape the ladder back in place. It was at this point that time seemed to stop. A huge firework, shaped like a dragon, flew over the lake, illuminating, where there should have been trees, many little people partying. It reminded me of something....  
  
The next few seconds were like watching Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the ring in fast-forward. Just faces and scenes: - swords and fighting and screams and pain... and then it just stopped. I looked around. Everything was exactly as it had been before the weird vision. It'd seemed like a few seconds to me, and the boat was in the same position, with the same amount of water in it, but it was dawn. The little people were no longer on the shore. Instead there were towering trees that looked like something out of LOTR.... I looked at my empty bottle.  
  
::Bloody hell – what did Laila put in that?::  
  
I suddenly remembered my wet feet and the sinking boat.  
  
Keikæ: Crap, oh, bugger!  
  
I saw a flat rock exactly where the jetty had been the previous night. I climbed to the top of the sellotaped-in-place-but-not-keeping-out-water ladder, kept my balance and simply stepped off the rock. In doing so, I turned to meet around 20 arrows pointed strait at me.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Ok, so it's the most rubbish cliffhanger possible to have. Still – please review it!  
  
ASSBB!!

Kess ;P


	5. Ahh! Too Many Elves!

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own LOTR or Jack Sparrow – there I said it ... ok?  
  
**A/N:**

Morgan Murdock: Yuh, I'll try to make them a little more independent in da next chappie they don't really come in here. No, none of the fellowship is goin' 2 get involved... er... romantically. If I did that, not only would my best friend completely throttle me, but I think about half of my class would too. And they're not exactly going to join the fellowship....  
  
Rochon Methestel: Yes, this is the kind of story where I make the characters the most unbelievably stupid ones possible... It's very entertaining as a writer, because, Keikæ, Laila and Bex are based on 3 people I know, although they don't skate around nicking random police officers wallets. I completely agree, Brenda Bender is a complete git.  
  
dab mossflower : Is the cliffhanger good? Blimey I had no idea.  
  
I.H.N: Staggers under weight of review Wow Big review... Thanx! Yep, as I've said Before, I will try 2 make them more individual, but probably in a later chapter. I'm trying to avoid staying with the elves for too long. It's been done too many times before. The idea is that they do get into a lot of trouble, but later on there'll be a bit of sympathy, memories and sensitivity on Keik's 'profile' if you like. Oh, and I'm trying to steer all 3 of them clear of the higher ranking random kinda peeps.  
  
Allasea2: Thanx for reviewing... again! Seeming as you're such a good reviewer, Every Argh! Swash, Swash, Buckle, Buckle! Is dedicated to you.  
  
Jupiter's light: Oh yeah, I mean Aye! Same goes for you if you keep reviewing!  
  
Padme the 2nd: Aye! And you too! ... If you keep reviewing... FRENCH INVENTORS OF MAYONAISE!!!!!  
  
P.S If you want to understand the completely random and insane lingo I write, check out my profile page.  
  
P.P.S If anyone wants Brenda Benders review really offensive and wants it taken off, please Email me or get someone to email to say so.  
  
Phew. Longest Authors note yet...

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 5 - Ahh! Too many elves!!  
  
Keikæ: Bloody hell!  
  
Random-Elf-#1: You're, friends were so loud, we could have shot them in the dark. This was said by a tall blonde elf. An elf! I must be going crazy. Good look-alike, though. Unfortunately, most Elves around here must've been tall and blonde because I couldn't tell one from another. I didn't recognise him from the films, though.  
  
Keikæ: Oh, no. Nope, this isn't happening, nope, I refuse to believe it.  
  
::Who the hell would set you up like this? It couldn't have been Laila or Bex – they could've never had got this many people to help. Whatever, I'll just play along, acting like Jack Sparrow.::  
  
Keikæ: Um... Er... well, that's nice to know – I'll just be on my way.  
  
I motioned to the side. Of course, the arrows followed me.  
  
"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back. She is here, she is waiting...."  
  
I had now decided to call this guy Random-Elf-Dude-#1. Or Elf-Boy for short.  
  
Keikæ: Dude, that is so unfair!  
  
::Where are best friends when you need them? -Keeks! You're meant to be Jack Sparrow, savvy?::  
  
Keikæ: Um... Savvy?  
  
I was half-hopeful, seeing how sharp the arrows were by poking them. Not the best idea, as, believe me, they were sharp.  
  
"Salad?"  
  
Keikæ: Er... Yeah! I mean Aye! Savvy?  
  
::Where the hell did that come from?::  
  
I had no idea what I was saying. Sure, Laila quotes every single line 24/7 but I still didn't get what it all meant.  
  
"What is your business here?" He asked warily.  
  
Keikæ: Er...  
  
::What's Jack?::  
  
Keikæ: Pirate!  
  
"Pirate..." He sounded confused,  
  
Keikæ: Aye, Captain Keikæ Sparrow.  
  
"Keikæ Sparrow?"  
  
Keikæ: Captain Keikæ Sparrow, if you please.  
  
"Well, I don't see your ship... Captain."  
  
::What's the line what's the line what's the line?::  
  
Keikæ: Oh, I'm er... in the market, as it were.  
  
::Please let that be the right line.::  
  
"And where are your friends?"  
  
Keikæ: Friends?  
  
The answer was written all over my face. I felt strong hands bind mine behind my back. My long knife was taken away from me. Galadriel appeared. There seemed to be a glow around her. I gawped. Why the hell would she be here? She's an Elf. Living in Middle Earth. And I am definitely not in middle earth. I still gawped.  
  
::Bloody hell! Close your mouth Keeks, you probably look like a goldfish – you're meant to be acting like Jack, not Elizabeth!::  
  
Galadriel: They are here. They have been following, watching....  
  
During her speech, I stepped over my bound hands so they were in front of me.  
  
"We are not alone...." She concluded.  
  
Keikæ: Finally!  
  
As she turned around, I slid my hands over her head, half strangling her.  
  
"No! Don't shoot!" I heard one of the elves say. I whispered quietly in her ear.  
  
Keikæ: Look, in advance, I am really, truly sorry for anything that I do or if I harm anyone in any way. To elves My effects, if you please – and me 'at.  
  
I was given my knife and Bex' grubby hat.  
  
Keikæ: You see,  
  
I took a step back  
  
You will always remember this-  
  
I checked over my shoulder  
  
As the day that-  
  
Another step  
  
You almost caught-  
  
I got ready to release Galadriel  
  
Capt'n Keikæ Sparrow."  
  
I released Galadriel, shoved her towards them and dived into the lake, grabbed onto the end of the rope that was thrown to me from the Jet Ski, and let myself be pulled to my feet with the speed. I saluted to them.  
  
::God – did you suckers really think you could catch me?::

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I'm sorry I make elves seem like really evil people. I'll be nicer in a later chapter (NOT next chapter) Thank you for reading & reviewing. Be a nice reviewer and... do the 2nd 'r' a bit more!  
  
ASSBB  
  
Kess ;P


	6. Rum!

**DISCLAIMER:** I have a feeling I've said this before: no, I don't own LOTR or any of its characters. But I do own Keikæ, Laila and Bex.  
  
**A/N:**  
  
Wow! I've got over 20 reviews. Thanx!  
  
Jupiter's Light: O... thank you! Please keep reviewing and saying how I could improve... Argh! Swash, Swash, Buckle, Buckle!   
  
MoovyLover: Ye've got a thing about reviewing every chappie I write 'aven't ye? Ok. Crappy pirate talk with a capital C. Sure she could do that to HER. You're forgetting 1 important thing, mate... She's capt'n Sparrow. Savvy? I have no idea if peeps can swim when they're drunk, but I no some1 who can do a back flip when drunk I no some1 (hem) who can walk a length of a ship.... I don't care 2 find out!  
  
Allasea2: Hmmm.. yus, veeeeeery interesting... ok. Uh... glad you got at least some of it.  
  
Kumarasgirl23: LOLlolLOLlolLOLlolLMAO!!!You will just have to wait and see... MwaHaHaHaHaHa!!  
  
Ok, I don't know where that came from... By the way, this is all following the films. I've only read the books once and I can't be bothered to do so again. So everything's following the films and people speak English. Capish? Here we go:

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 6 - And Once Again, The Rum Has Saved Us

I crawled up onto the beach, soaking, swearing at two idiots grinning their heads off.  
  
Keikæ: You scurvy (censored)! Why the hell did you do that? Why did you leave the boat?  
  
Laila: Because it was sinking you dipstick! And, c'mon you did pretty well with that pirate talk.  
  
Keikæ: I did? What was I saying?  
  
Bex: Complete crap.  
  
Keikæ: Oh well – that's ok then.  
  
All 3 of us burst out laughing. Laila cut through my ropes with a penknife. A sudden serious thought crossed my mind.  
  
"No!" I said suddenly.  
  
"What?" they chorused.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Keeks," Bex said, concerned, "Are you feeling alright?"  
  
"Yeah, wozzup Keeks?"  
  
"Why is the rum gone?"  
  
I saw an expression of relief spread across their faces.  
  
"Why?" I repeated.  
  
They showed me 3 sodden bags with lifejackets strapped to them.  
  
Bex: I present... the rum.  
  
Now was my chance to practise my insane Jack Sparrowesque grin.  
  
::I could get used to all this Jack Sparrow lark. It's already saved my ass twice, and I get to drink as much rum as I like. Oh yeah, and act like a permanently drunk pirate.::  
  
Laila: Come on, let's get going.  
  
Bex: Going where?  
  
Laila: Anywhere.  
  
We each grabbed a bottle of rum, seized a bag and set off. We didn't get very far.  
  
"Let me guess – Keikæ Sparrow is it?"  
  
Keikæ: Captain, captain Keikæ Sparrow  
  
"Whatever pirate" He said, spitting out the word pirate like it was poisonous.  
  
Keikæ: You say that like it's a bad thing.  
  
Next thing I know, I'm on my back, focusing cross-eyed on an arrow 2 inches from my nose.  
  
::Ok – Perhaps I shouldn't have said that.::  
  
"Bad move, Sparrow."  
  
At least I could see him from here. Not Random-Elf-Dude-#1. This guy was different. Looked a bit like Craig Parker. I think he played Haldir in the films, so I guess it must be him. Still, I decided to this guy Random-Elf- Dude-#2. I flipped onto my feet from my shoulders, in 1 kick I disarmed the elf and hit him on the chin, and held the fruit knife at his throat. Quite quickly, considering.  
  
"You were saying?" I said calmly. I quickly familiarised myself with his face. I'm sure he was an extra in LotR, 1 & 2.  
  
Ok, so it wasn't the best of moves. I felt someone grip my arm and I dropped the knife, willingly. Whatever I may seem to them, I didn't want bloodshed. I then had my hands tied (once again) behind my back, only this time, they were tied to Laila's. Bex was on the other side of the clearing, already tied and blindfolded. She was fiddling in her pocket. No one but me seemed to notice.  
  
::Elves are very unobservant creatures, aren't they? Actually no, that's crap.::  
  
I then heard that annoying vodaphone ringtone.  
  
...................  
  
Laila and Bex began sniggering.  
  
....................  
  
I was trying to work out who's it was.  
  
....................  
  
:;Shit! It's mine. It's a wonder it's still working – but it is mine!::  
  
Laila began giggling uncontrollably.  
  
::Must be the rum.::  
  
....................  
  
Keikæ: Sorry, it's ...er... mine.  
  
The elves didn't look the slightest bit amused. I began to jump, trying to get my pocket with the phone in (which was at knee level.), to my hands (which were at waist level along with Laila's.).  
  
.........................  
  
Keikæ: Laila, could you just grab my phone please?  
  
.........................  
  
The ringing stopped. Some distraction. I then slid my hand into Laila's back pocket and grabbed the lighter there. Although Laila could feel it, Bex was the only person who could see it.  
  
I whispered in Laila's ear; "3, 2, 1."  
  
Bex began shouting and struggling wildly. She knew what she was doing. While she distracted them, I burnt through our bonds. Bex continued struggling and shouting a completely rubbish song in French, until she was hit over the head with something hard.  
  
::Thanks Bex.::  
  
Laila and I pretended our hands were still bound.  
  
Laila: For Bex.  
  
She said this quite loud, so that everyone could hear. If these were elves, then they'd be able to hear what ever we said anyway. If you say something that everyone can hear, it doesn't seem nearly as suspicious.  
  
Keikæ: For Bex.  
  
That was the signal. I back somersaulted over Laila, drawing the penknife from the side of her ski boot at the same time. We then ran, preferring the flight rather than fight approach. We stretch out the remainder of the half-burnt ropes between us. We brained 2, tripped up another 2, then dropped the rope.  
  
Laila: Up!  
  
Keikæ: Wait, wait! The Rum!  
  
I quickly grabbed the discarded rum. We kind of, half ran, half climbed up 2 identical trees into the higher branches and stayed – mainly out of fear - completely still.  
  
We could hear them shouting below us.  
  
"They went this way!"  
  
They turned and ran in completely the wrong direction. Bit strange, that. I thought they had seen us climbing.  
  
::God, how stupid do you get?::  
  
Laila started waving her arms around.  
  
"Keeks! Hey! Keeks!" she mouthed.  
  
I looked to where she was pointing. There were 3 others, which had broken off from the rest of the group, and were going slower, in a different direction.  
  
"They've got Bex!" she mouthed.  
  
I then saw her, slung across the shoulder of the third one. I drained the last of the rum.  
  
Keikæ: C'mon! We can take them!  
  
We leapt together, landing on the elves either side. I smashed the empty rum bottle over the head of the third one carrying Bex.  
  
::And once again, the rum has saved us.::

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
What d'ye think? Sorry one bit was censored. If it weren't, I would be allowed to write this story because it would probably have to be an R I've already written chapter 16. I'm making the chapters a bit longer. Let me know what you think! Thanx!

ASSBB!!

Kess ;P


	7. No Escape

**DISCLAIMER**: No! Too painful to say – go and see other chapters.  
  
**A/N:** # Song # Ah, yeah. I don't own the songs but I can sing them. I apologise if this chapter makes no sense whatsoever. Aye, another shortie. Anywho, replies to reviews:  
  
Jupiter's Light: You ok? I mean, do you need to go to a mental health clinic? I have a feeling the answer will be no. mwahahahaha!! The rum! I know it's super, it always is! Ok, tha's complete crap. Still, I'm glad you like it. Sorry this one is so short, they are getting longer – I've already written way ahead. Thanx! Argh! Swash, Swash, Buckle, Buckle!!  
  
Alassea 2: Ye don't have much to say for yourself, do ye? Therefore, I can't write back much. Thank you for reviewing, I'm glad ye think it's good... and... funny.... Um, any other description I've missed from your review?  
  
Elvenstorm: Dude, cool name (;P) I am WRITING MORE NOW – I'm already on chap. 21. Don't ask, I have a very sad life. Yeah, Strider will be coming in any chappie now. 11, I think. Soz for the wait! (see you on sun)  
  
Elotiardactyl: Heya, yuh, it was meant to be that, yuh she is kinda, too stupid to be real but then, when you read the other chapters, you'll find out why (I think).  
  
**NOTE TO EVERY READER**: Seeming as I've already written chappie 23, I'm going to start updating much sooner until my updating catches up with my writing, savvy? But that doesn't mean you lot skip reviewin'! lol

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-  
**  
Chapter 7 - No Escape  
  
I completely forgot everything around me.  
  
Keikæ: Bex!  
  
She was still unconscious.  
  
"What's this?" I heard a voice say, "A pirate caught off her guard?"  
  
I felt cold steel at my throat.  
  
"We thought you'd come back for your friend."  
  
Of course. God, that trick was so simple it would've fooled a schoolgirl. A blonde one at that. I needed to think, and fast.  
  
::The French!::  
  
Well, it had worked for Jack.  
  
Keikæ: Puhluley....  
  
He sounded confused.  
  
Keikæ: Puhlulehvoos....  
  
I didn't dare look up.

Keikæ: Parleli, parsmi, pasley, parle, parle....

"Parley?" I looked up.

Keikæ: Parley! That's the one. Parley! Parley!

"Parley? What's that supposed to mean?"

Keikæ: It means: You have to let me go free.

::You liar, Keikæ.::

"And who invented this 'Parley'?"

I put my finger on the end of the sword, pointing it down.

Keikæ: That'd be the French – Latin based of course, makers of mayonnaise....

::Shut up Keeks – This rambling is going to get you killed. Just find out what they want.::

"We want to know what a pirate and her sidekicks are doing in the woods of Lothlorien." He replied.

Not noticing that he had replied to what I'd been thinking, I continued.

Keikæ: Woah, hold your horses there – I'm in Lothlorien?

He didn't speak. He didn't nod. He didn't move in any way. He didn't need to. (A/N Dude! That is such a crap line!)

"I think we should let these 3 sleep on what they've just found out." He said.

Keikæ: Wonderful. Just bloody wonderful.

We were escorted to single-roomed cells that were empty, save the bed. I was on my own. Held by the collar, I trudged in. And pulled back out again, handed over the keys I had just nicked and trudged back in again. Ignoring the bed, I lay down on the floor began to think. Of all the bets over the years, of our flat in London and of my 2 best friends in the next cells, who had saved my skin a number of times.

::Yeah well – I do save their asses quite a lot.::

Then, our way of life would have to change eventually. Bored, I began to sing:

# Lay awake, I don't give a shit, If I even ever wake up in the morning. Down below, There's a pile of sin, #  
  
I was surprised to hear a voice join in:  
  
# Always waiting for a, waiting for a warning. #  
  
::Bex.::

Keikæ: Bex! You're awake!  
  
Bex: Whatever, you're only suppose to be quoting Jack. I didn't know he sang Offspring in Pirates of the Caribbean.  
  
Keikæ: You said that anything I said had to be one of Jack's lines. Not anything I sang.  
  
Another voice joined in the conversation.  
  
Laila: Still. Don't you think we should sing something a bit more... piratical?  
  
I grinned insanely.  
  
# We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, we loot, Drink up me 'earties yo ho! We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot, Drink up me 'earties yo ho! Yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me! #  
  
Bex: Really bad eggs!  
  
Keikæ: Drink up me 'earties yo...  
  
"Woah!" We chorused.  
  
Laila took on the voice of a very drunk Elizabeth.  
  
Laila: You know Keeks, it must've been terrible for you to be locked in a cupboard over Christmas.  
  
I knew she was referring to the BIG row when I was 10, which I had with my parents – it had cost me 2 weeks in the cupboard. That was when I ran away.

Keikæ: Oh, yes. But the company is infinitely better than last time, I think.

::Bex, shut up – I can hear you laughing::

Keikæ: And the...the scenery has definitely improved.

::No WAY – this is getting way kinky.::  
  
Bex burst out laughing, startling the guard. I looked at the guard. There was something odd about him. He was the one I had met by the lake and had caught me when attempting to unsuccessfully rescue Bex. I knew I had never met him in my life, but I still recognised him from somewhere.  
  
Keikæ: Shut up Bex, don't even go there. Ok – most embarrassing moment... Laila?  
  
Laila: Bex, you go first.  
  
Bex: Ummm.... At the bar on New Years Eve?  
  
Laila: That wasn't embarrassing! At least, not for you it wasn't.  
  
Bex: Fine. I'll pass on that one. Er... Keikæ?  
  
"Aye?" I stopped laughing. Bex sounded serious and she only called me Keikæ when she was concerned or wanted something. Laila was also silent. The next thing Bex said I certainly did not expect.  
  
Bex: Who are you? I mean, I know Keikæ ain't your real name. What happened?

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Sorry it's so boring. The next one will probably a bit like that too. And the one after that. But I'll try to make the one after that one better. The characters have a lot of explaining to do. Yes I will get them out of there and on the road soon. Yes I do know it's chapter 7 and you still haven't met the fellowship. Will you please review?

ASSBB!!

Kess ;P


	8. Memories

**DISCLAIMER**: Go and see the other chapters – you know how much I hate saying it.  
  
**A/N:** Yes, this is quite an emotional chapter and I'm sorry if you don't get it.  
  
Jupiter's Light: YuS, yoOOU aaaAAAaaaaaaarEe MeNTaL ParsLEy ParMI PaRDner, pARdNEr... HowDI ParDEner, HowDi PaRDneR... PARLeY!! MWAHAHAHAHAAaaaaaaa!! ThE ?FrenCh! huMILiATed grapes!! YaH! WeeeeeeHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (As u can probably guess, I'm drinking coffee) NO! I'm NoT TELliNG yOU WhoO KeiKæ iS Til Di eND OF dA STOOOOOOOooooorY!! So you'll just have to keep reading....  
  
Dreamality: Danke sehr much for your wonderfully constructive criticism. I would just like to say that this story is complete crap and is meant to be complete crap. The policemans-wallet-nicking was simply a demonstration of what they do in their spare time and what a bunch of idiots they are and it puts into perspective how much they change later in the story. Galadriel was not in the middle of the woods, she was beside the lake and she felt like a walk. What do you mean by OOC? (Yes, I'm a malteaser; blonde on the inside, brunette on the outside.) Anywho, realistically, Jack Sparrow wouldn't have been able to escape 20 men of the navy, but he did, and that was exactly what Keikæ just done. Thank you but I can't improve it whatsoever, I've already written chapter 24 so I can tell you that they do stop acting like the bets but I do use random lines for the hell of it ;P. I'm veeeeeeery glad you like my fanficcy. Once you have read this, go back and read it again in a Yorkshire accent and it might not sound nearly as serious =). Pleeeeeeeeeease keep revieeeeeeeeeeewing, I very much appreciate it and it gives me an excuse to kick my sister off the computer ;) and use the internet that's about the only thing of value in my bedroom ;D. Keep reading!!  
  
Jupiter's Light: Oh, yeah! ASSBB

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 8 - Memories  
  
Keikæ: I'm sorry Bex. I can't tell you – at least, not the first half; my surname is exactly the same as it has always been: Sparrow.  
  
Laila: Well... what happened?  
  
Keikæ: My dad. I hated him and he hated me. Long story, won't go into it. But he beat my mother and beat me. She ran first. Apparently that was my fault, so I followed her lead, though I never found her....  
  
I trailed off. They knew the rest of the story. I could hear Bex breathing heavily. I felt anger and hate from so many years well up inside me, with one desperate thought in my head:  
  
::Run. Run now.::  
  
So I ran. How I got out of the cell, I've no idea. It all seemed like a dream. All I know, is that left the guard unconscious, and with a large bruise on his head. I also left Laila and Bex behind. I had to be alone I sprinted to the lake, and sat on the edge of the rock I had once used as a jetty, and cried.  
  
I don't know how long I sat there, tears silently rolling down my cheeks. I just watched the lake and the birds and the world go by.  
  
"Alright, I'm coming." I said to those behind me. I didn't turn and look, and I couldn't hear them, but I knew they were there.  
  
"I'm coming."  
  
And so, once again, infamous Captain Keikæ Sparrow found staring at the inside of the cell.  
  
::Footsteps.::  
  
I lay spread-eagled on the floor.  
  
"Pirate?" A voice said. I'd heard that voice before. I sat upright.  
  
Keikæ: Aye?  
  
"You're not from middle earth?"  
  
I settled back down on the floor, realising it was the elf who I had first met by the lake, the same elf who had caught me, the same elf who I had left unconscious 3 hours before.  
  
Keikæ: Might be.  
  
"Come. There's someone to see you."  
  
He led me out. I had no idea where I was, but was escorted by several elves and decided that running would be suicide. I followed him into a small-ish room, with quite a few chairs, most of them occupied.  
  
Bex and Laila were already there, as was Galadriel and an elderly chap dressed in white who I knew was Gandalf. I ignored my chair and sat down on the floor.  
  
Keikæ: Does this mean explanation time?  
  
"You could say that. My name is Ilréthiel. This is Gandalf the white and, as you know, Galadriel, Lady of the wood."  
  
My eyes travelled from Bex, who, like me, had taken to sitting on the floor, to Galadriel, who had a faded red mark around her neck. I thoughtit would only be fair to apologise.  
  
Keikæ: Umm... Sorry?  
  
Galadriel didn't say much.  
  
Keikæ: Err... Ok, Is there any particular reason you're all here?  
  
Ilréthiel: We could be asking you the same question.  
  
::You elves are very conversational, aren't ye?::  
  
I looked at Laila and Bex, who nodded.  
  
Keikæ: I take it you'd like to know the whole story?  
  
Galadriel nodded.  
  
Keikæ: We're going to be here a very long time.  
  
Laila: We come from London, in England. 3 days ago, was new years eve. We're wanted for petty crime in quite a few places, so we're usually running from the police. We got kicked out of the local pub, thanks to Bex, so we went down to the lake with loads of stuff to celebrate. We nicked-  
  
Keikæ: Hem, commandeered.  
  
Laila obviously didn't appreciate my interruption. I shrugged, adding: "Couldn't resist mate."  
  
Laila: Fine, commandeered a boat that was tied up at the jetty-  
  
Keikæ: The jetty being where you first found me-  
  
::This is getting into a habit.::  
  
Laila: And rowed out. We didn't know where we were going – we either didn't care or were too drunk to notice. Or both. Being drunk, we made up extremely stupid bets. I had to act like Elizabeth Swann for a week (she's some completely random person.), and anything Bex said was to be in song lyrics.  
  
Ilréthiel made a pretty good impression of Jack Sparrow.  
  
Ilréthiel: So... what's with all the.... pirate stuff?  
  
Keikæ: Yuh, We're getting to that – I had to act like Jack Sparrow for a month.  
  
Gandalf: So your name isn't Keikæ Sparrow?"  
  
It was the first thing I'd heard him say.  
  
Keikæ: Well, yeah, kind of.  
  
Gandalf: Why did you run from here?  
  
I didn't have to answer. Galadriel did for me.  
  
"Fear, memories.... Run..."  
  
Keikæ: Er... Yeah. What she said.  
  
Gandalf: So, how do you think you came to middle earth? What happened?  
  
::God, this guy is full of questions.::  
  
Laila: Well, Bex, having never had alcohol before, fell out of the boat. In doing this, she kind of made a hole in the boat, which started sinking. That's when I jumped out.  
  
Keikæ: Then midnight struck. We saw fireworks; one particular firework took the shape of a dragon and swept over the lake, illuminating many little people on the other side.  
  
Gandalf: Little you say?  
  
Keikæ: Yes, like... half the size of a normal person.  
  
Gandalf and Ilréthiel exchanged looks. I knew what they were thinking and I knew that those little people were hobbits at Bilbo's 111th birthday. You didn't have to be a genius to work that out.  
  
Keikæ: The next few seconds were like... scenes, figures, faces... you were one of them, falling. There were 2 men; a tall, dark one and another who was shot thrice, a dwarf carrying an axe, an elf there was also and 4 of those little people, like I'd seen at the lake. There were also 9 figures dressed completely in black, riding horses. I then found myself back in the boat. Everything was exactly the same as it had been at midnight; the boat, the water level in the boat, everything, except it was dawn. That was when I stepped of the sinking boat, and you found me I gestured to Ilréthiel.  
  
There was a few seconds silence. Laila seemed to be trying to talk to me, though didn't want the others to hear. She eventually resorted to French.  
  
Lalia: A fait pourquoi ne vous les dites pas des livres, le film, le Ski à réaction. Pourquoi vous n'avez pas dit de leurs avenirs? [Why didn't you tell them about the books, the film, the jet ski?]  
  
::I hope they can't speak French.::  
  
Keikæ: Nur, weil ich ihnen die Wahrheit erzähle, bedeutet nicht, daß ich ihnen die ganze Wahrheit erzählen muß. [Just because I have to tell them the truth, does not mean I have to tell them the whole truth.]  
  
::I hope they can't speak German either.::

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
yuh, I know that was a bit boring too. It'll get better! I promise. Thanx 2 freetranslation.com for translating for me. It's probably a weird version of what actually wanted to say... but still. Thanx for reading. This is the bit where you press that little button that says GO! And review it.  
  
ASSBB!!  
  
Kess ;P


	9. On The Road

**DISCLAIMER FOR EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER I WRITE**: I don't own LOTR or any of its characters. I do not own Jack Sparrow either, but I do own the characters Keikæ, Laila and Bex, as I made them up. Neither do I own any of the songs.  
  
**A/N:**  
  
WOW!! 35 reviews and I'm only on chapter 8!! Bloody hell, you lot read too much (Joke, joke – please keep reviewing!)  
  
Jupiter's Light: Yes, they do speak different lingo's they learnt at school... random. Argh! Swash, Swash, Buckle, Buckle!! COFFEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Saphira: Sorry it's a bit confusing. They got caught, and that's all you really need to know about...  
  
Padme the 2nd: Ohhh... you adore it? Thankies!  
  
nilimade: Ye don't have much to say for yourself, do ye? Thank you. I'm updating. ;P.  
  
Dreamality: No, this isn't a "Joins the fellowship and spends all day... doing whatever..." (Little sis's in the room). Ilréthiel is just some random elf that's been pulled into the plot because of a random reason that'll become pretty obvious in a later chapter... The girls will soon split up because I need a person in each place to describe different things, I'm glad you think it's believable, though of course, it ain't as middle earth unfortunately don't exist =(. I'm trying to steer this Fanfic as far away from a legomance as possible. They get soooooo boring after a while. Anywho, overall from your review I think you like my story so I'll keep writing... Thankies!! P.S If you don't get it, no worries, just tell me. The general jist is pretty ok to get. Sorry if I'm not making the slightest bit of sense whatsoever... thanx again!  
  
Elvenstorm: Glad you like it, mon amis (I'm crap at French!!) Mwahahaa!! The French!! Mayonnaise!! A Golden Elephant!! Teeeeeeeheeeeeeee!! MwahahahahAAAAA!! Hehe. Yup, I'm hyper. Elfwood and Thai food makes me like that. Coolies! I WILL keep swashing (to anyone who don't get that, it means writing), keep reviewing ye petite nutcase!! Anyhowz, ASSBB!!  
  
I'M A MALTEASER AND I'M PROUD OF IT!!  
  
Hem... on with the story...

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 9 - On The Road  
  
Gandalf: We must leave quickly. Ilréthiel will come with us.  
  
::Oh great.::  
  
After much debate and discussion, it was that we came here for a reason, and that reason was most likely to be helping the remains of the fellowship.  
  
Gandalf: The fellowship has already broken – Frodo and Samwise are making their own way to Mordor; Merry and Pippin are being taken to Isengard, to Saruman. Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are following them, we must too.  
  
"Take these." Galadriel handed us a sword each, "As gifts. Use them well."  
  
Laila: Wow...  
  
Laila unsheathed hers. I knew it was her dream to own an Elven sword from the films LOTR – she'd done all the stunt work and even took up fencing, but to get the real thing was 500 times better. The same thing was going through my head.  
  
::Wow, I don't know how to say thank you!::  
  
Galadriel: Keikæ, You just have. Think of it more as an apology.  
  
We thanked her again and left in haste.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
It was nightfall and I felt really tired. By the looks of them, I'd say Laila and Bex were too. We had been riding all day with only a short break for lunch and already it was taking its toll on Bex. Laila and I, being used to riding, were ok, if a little tired, but Bex looked completely whacked. We started a fire and decided who would do what watch when. I had the last watch.  
  
"Keeks! Keeks!" I woke up to Laila's tanned and sleep-deprived face.  
  
Keikæ: What's the time? Hang on – Bex's watch is before mine!  
  
Laila: Yeah... I know, but she was so tired when we arrived here – I can't wake her Keeks, I just can't.  
  
Keikæ: Alright. I'll cover for her this time.  
  
I sat, watching the flames, listening. I began to think of home, of life. I realised that I'd have to break off and start in another place soon. We couldn't go on with committing petty crime forever. I didn't know how I was going to tell Laila & Bex. After a few hours I saw the sun rise over the mountains.  
  
::Wow... Spectacular view.::  
  
It was dawn. I woke up Laila and Bex. Gandalf and Ilréthiel were already awake. Laila was bouncy as ever and Bex – I was relieved to see – had regained the spring in her step. Again, we rode all day. My watch, that night was before Ilréthiel's.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Once again, I found myself sitting by the fire, watching, listening. I heard quiet footsteps approaching. I knew it was Laila.  
  
Keikæ: Why are you up? You've done your watch.  
  
Laila: Couldn't sleep.  
  
She sat down beside me, in the warmth of the fire. I began to sing, very gently, very quietly:  
  
# I haven't ever really found a place that I call home. But I never stick around quite long enough to make it. I apologise that once again I'm not in love, But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking, It's just a thought, only a thought...  
  
If my life is for rent, And I don't learn to buy, Well I deserve nothing more than I get, Because nothing I have is truly mine. #  
  
::Good – she's asleep.:: Laila's head was resting on my lap.  
  
# Because nothing I have is truly mine....#  
  
Ilréthiel sat down beside me.  
  
Ilréthiel: I'll take over now.  
  
Keikæ: You're early.  
  
Ilréthiel: Elves don't sleep much, and anyway, you've done more than your share of keeping watch.  
  
So he knew. I smiled.  
  
Keikæ: Thanks.  
  
I put my jacket under Laila's head, and went to my makeshift bed. As I lay on my side, pretending to be asleep, I saw Laila, sleeping, smiling. She looked happy, peaceful beside Ilréthiel, who was stroking her face.  
  
"Goodnight." I whispered, and rolled over to sleep.

**-x-x-x-x-x-  
**  
It was the third night of our trip. Bex finally noticed we had been covering for her, so she took first watch.  
  
I fell asleep almost immediately. I slept like a log, but woke up in time for my watch, a few hours before dawn. I heard voices and looked over to the fire. I saw Ilréthiel and Laila sitting there. They were talking in low voices. I gave it 5 minutes. Just as I was about to get up, I saw Ilréthiel lean over and kiss Laila.  
  
::OMG! Laila! Wait 'til Bex hears this!::  
  
It then saw Laila slip off to her own bed and Ilréthiel approaching me. I pretended to be asleep.  
  
Ilréthiel: My lady... Keikæ?  
  
He shook me gently.  
  
Keikæ: Yeah, yeah, I'm getting up.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
At dawn, in the light, I could see that we had camped on the edge of Fangorn Forest. Of course, being the no. 1 LOTR fan I already knew this, but Laila and Bex didn't care to watch the films or read the books.  
  
They seriously need to get a life.  
  
Anyway, we soon found that this was to be the parting of our ways. Bex and Laila were to go into the forest with Gandalf, I was instructed to go around the forest then towards the mountains on foot, where I was to meet 3 of the fellowship (I'll give you 3 guesses what their names are.) and Ilréthiel, much to Laila's disappointment, was to return to Lothlorien. It seems, over a period of just 4 days, they had become more than just good friends. Just before we parted, I sneaked up on Laila and Ilréthiel in a clearing near the edge of the forest. Ilréthiel kissed her, hugged her and said a few low reassuring words that I couldn't hear. I could guess what they went along the lines of though. The next time I saw Laila, she was considerably happier.  
  
We said our goodbyes and set off on our different journeys. I, knowing what was going to happen, reassured Bex that we'd meet again very soon.  
  
I think.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Review!  
  
REVIEW!!!


	10. Going Solo

**A/N:** I can't speak Elvish so I've just put the English in [ ]  
  
REVIEWERRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS: I LUB YOU ALLLLLLLLL!!!!!  
  
Dreamality: Yerse, I hadn't thought of that ;) WTH She knows what's going to happen and she knows where peeps are when. I think? To early in the morning... I neeeeeeeeeeed coffee....  
  
Nilimade: BBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEE HHHYYYYYYYYPPPPPPEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!! Yup, iz da best way to write reviews.... Nyehehheeeeeee!  
  
Jupiter's Light: Yerse, she got a booooyfriend!! Hehe spying.... I'm a nutcase...  
  
Padme the 2nd: I rock? Oh... thank you! POWDERED SUGAR HIGH!!!!! Eh? WTH am I on about? I don't know. Whatever, you don't have to threaten me to get me writing, for I am the Authoress of dis story and I can make anything happen to you. Mwhahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!! WOOO!!!! COFFEE£EEEEE!!!  
  
Keikæ: Dude, ya name's Keikæ? Wo, I just put some random letters together, and saw what happened... er... not a lot, by the looks of things... Anywho, yeah, they are based on 3 unrandom peeps, but they Hem, we don't go round nicking stuff.... We 'borrow' it instead. Returning it, of course, undamaged and all the rest of it , and never anything serious....  
  
NOTE TO ALL READERS: Hey peeps, a lil note – 1. If you want to get the funny æ sign like æ that, it's ALT 145 . Capish? 2. You may call me Kess or ElvenElements, but NOT elven-elements, it gets really annoying, and ff.net can't tell the difference between CAPITAL LETTERS and lower case, and DASHES – and UNDERSCORES ... Capish? 3. Soz I'm so touchy bout that.... On with the story...

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 10 - Going Solo  
  
Following Gandalf's instructions, I ran along the edge of the forest for a few miles, then turned south east, in the direction of the hills of Emyn Muil, though I was hoping to met them long before I'd get anywhere near there.  
  
I ran faster. I knew I had to meet them. There was no 2 ways about it. Luckily, I didn't have to find them. They found me.  
  
"What is a lady doing, roaming around the lands at such times?"  
  
I turned to face an arrow.  
  
::I have a feeling I've been in this situation before.::  
  
Keikæ: Actually, that's pirate and I was looking for you.  
  
"You lie!" Said the tall, blonde one, who I presumed was Legolas.  
  
Don't jump to conclusions, Leggy dear.  
  
Keikæ: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.... You have it all wrong. I was sent by the Lady Galadriel and the wizard Gandalf, and yes, I am a pirate.  
  
Legolas: You lie! You may be a pirate but... Gandalf has fallen....  
  
::You IDIOT Keeks – of COURSE they think Gandalf's dead you numbskull! And anyway, you are a PIRATE dressed as a 21st century Londoner CLAIMING to be a bloody PIRATE. Does that make sense?::  
  
I took a deep breath.  
  
Keikæ: Whatever - I haven't got time for this.  
  
I kicked the bow and arrow from the elf's hands, (I'm sure I've done this before.), jumped easily over the dwarf to see Aragorn draw his sword. I met it. With a swift move, he swung his sword and rendered me vulnerable, gaining the upper hand. (Don't worry if that makes no sense – it's the move that Eowyn uses in the two towers at Edoras.)  
  
Keikæ: You seem somewhat familiar – have I met you before?  
  
This wasn't exactly the way I had intended to introduce myself. I attacked, twice, and each time he blocked.  
  
Aragorn: I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.  
  
Keikæ: You know, you're very good at this, aren't you?  
  
Again, the sound of metal clashing could be heard.  
  
Aragorn: I do a lot of practise.  
  
I dropped my sword in an act of peace.  
  
Keikæ: You need to get yaself a girl mate.  
  
He slapped me.  
  
Keikæ: Not sure I deserved that. Or perhaps the reason you practise so much, is that you already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?  
  
He slapped me again.  
  
Keikæ: I may've deserved that.  
  
Aragorn: The reason I practise so much, is so that when I meet an orc, or a pirate, I can kill it!  
  
I grabbed my sword and he struck again. I parried, tripped him up and held a knife at his throat.  
  
Aragorn: You cheated!  
  
Keikæ: Pirate!  
  
I then felt an arrow tip at the back of my neck.  
  
Legolas: Release him.  
  
I dropped the knife and stood up, my hands in the air. Aragorn quickly grabbed his sword and swung it. It would have hit me, flat side, if Gimli hadn't grabbed Aragorn's arm.  
  
Gimli: Get a grip on yourself laddie."  
  
Aragorn: Don't you dare speak of Arwen.  
  
Keikæ: Oh, so it is about the girl!  
  
Aragorn slapped my again. ::Cheeky little slapper.::  
  
Legolas: I suppose you didn't deserved that one either?  
  
::Dude! I love it when he says that!!::  
  
Keikæ: : No – that one I deserved.  
  
Legolas: Estel – [Leave it. She is no enemy. We need to go – we are wasting time.]  
  
Aragorn: Your name.  
  
Keikæ: Captain Keikæ Sparrow.  
  
Aragorn: And you're a pirate?  
  
Keikæ: Well, it's more of a bet than an actual title. Long story, I won't go into it as you're short on time.  
  
Aragorn: We are  
  
He turned then stopped and came back.  
  
Aragorn: I didn't know you spoke Elvish.  
  
Keikæ: I don't.  
  
Aragorn: Then how did you know that?  
  
Keikæ: Know what? Do you mean Merry and Pippin, the fellowship breaking, Boromir's death, the uruk-hai, the fact that I know your names and generally what's going on, or Sam and Frodo's flight?  
  
They looked astounded.  
  
"Everything."  
  
Keikæ: I have my sources.  
  
I grinned in a Jack Sparrowesque manner.  
  
Legolas: Aragorn! We can not delay, there is less than a day ahead of us.  
  
Aragorn: Yes... but what should we do about the girl?  
  
Keikæ: Hem, I do have a name, and I would appreciate it if you used it. Short Pause Do you lot always look stoned?  
  
They hadn't the slightest idea of what I was on about.  
  
Gimli: The lass should come with us, it's not safe in these lands.  
  
Legolas: I agree. Aragorn, we must go.  
  
He sounded more insistent this time. He nodded.  
  
Keikæ: That means aye?  
  
"Yes."  
  
Keikæ: O. Good. Ta very much.  
  
::Gandalf'll be happy.::

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Ok, I could've done a lot more. Yes, it was the most unsubtle way of including her and writing her into the quest, but if you've got any better ideas, please tell me....  
  
Review! PLEASE!! I need reviews to write!! So be a good reader and REVIEW!!!  
  
ASSBB!!  
  
Kess ;P


	11. The Riders of Rohan

**A/N:** I know I haven't used all the dialogue and every line in certain parts of the film, but I can't be bothered to write it all in. I know this is the 2nd chappie in a day, but I felt sorry for you, because the last one was so short... so here goes...

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 11 - The Riders Of Rohan  
  
We continued our journey that I was now part of. Aragorn picked up a broach.  
  
Aragorn: Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall.  
  
::Well... Derrrrr...::  
  
Legolas: They may yet still be alive.  
  
Aragorn: Less than a day ahead of us. Come!  
  
The same day, when we reached the borders of Rohan and looked down upon the plains.  
  
Aragorn: Rohan. Home of the Horse-Lords. There is something strange at work here. Some evil gives speed to these creatures, sets its will against us. Legolas! What do your elf eyes see?  
  
Legolas: The uruks turn north east. They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!  
  
::No... You think?:: I thought sarcastically.  
  
Aragorn: Saruman.  
  
::Finally! You've worked it out! Took you long enough::  
  
We continued running until dawn.  
  
Legolas: A red sun rises. Blood has been spilt this night.  
  
::Why do you always come up with completely useless crap?::  
  
We heard the sound of horses and quickly hid behind some boulders. I saw them gallop past, banners flying. Aragorn stepped out into the open. I followed suit.  
  
Aragorn: Riders of Rohan! What news from the mark?  
  
We were quickly surrounded.  
  
::Very intelligent move.::  
  
"What business does a lady-"  
  
Keikæ: Sorry, that's pirate.  
  
"What business does an elf, a man, a dwarf and... and a... pirate have in the riddermark? Speak quickly!"  
  
Gimli: Give me your name, horsemaster, and I will give you mine.  
  
::Bad move Gimli.::  
  
The rider, Éomer, handed his staff to someone else, dismounted his horse, and said:  
  
Éomer: I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.  
  
::What a wonderful thing to say.::  
  
Legolas: You would die before your stroke fell!  
  
He quickly fitted an arrow to his bow. The riders tightened the circle. Aragorn pushed Legolas' arm down.  
  
Aragorn: I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gimli, son of Gloin, Legolas, of the woodland realm, and Keikæ Sparrow.  
  
Keikæ: Captain, captain Keikæ Sparrow.  
  
"We are friends of Rohan," Aragorn continued, ignoring my completely pointless interruption, "And of Théoden, your king."  
  
Éomer: Théoden no longer recognises friend from foe.  
  
Éomer removed his helmet.  
  
::God ya hair's a mess!::  
  
Éomer: Not even of his own kin.  
  
This must have been a signal, because the spears were withdrawn.  
  
Éomer: Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king, and claimed lordship over these lands. My company are those loyal to Rohan, and for that, we are banished.  
  
Keikæ: We are no spies.  
  
Might as well save time.  
  
"Sorry?" Éomer said, confused. I continued, quoting a very rushed part of the script.  
  
Keikæ: The white wizard is cunning. He walks here and there, they say, as an old man, hooded and cloaked. And everywhere his spies slip past your nets.  
  
::So much for the 'save time' idea.::  
  
Keikæ: We are no spies.  
  
Éomer looked unnerved. I let Aragorn say his bit:  
  
Aragorn: We track a party of Uruk-hai westward across the plain. They've taken two of our friends captive.  
  
Keikæ: Oh yeah, tha's what I was going to say! The Uruks are destroyed.  
  
Éomer: Yes, we slaughtered them in the night.  
  
The 3 of the original fellowship gawped at me in amazement. Gimli was the first to speak.  
  
Gimli: But there were two hobbits. Did you see two hobbits with them?  
  
I decided not to interrupt at this point.  
  
Aragorn: They would be small – only children to your eyes.  
  
Éomer confirmed Aragorn's worst fears.  
  
Éomer: We left none alive. We piled the carcasses and burned them.  
  
Gimli: Dead?  
  
Éomer nodded: I am sorry.  
  
Legolas put a hand on Gimli's shoulder in grief. Éomer turned and whistled.  
  
Éomer: Hasufel! Arod! May these horses bear you to better fortune than their former masters. Farewell.  
  
Éomer put on his helmet and got back on his horse.  
  
Éomer: Look for your friends. But do not trust to hope, it has forsaken these lands. We ride north!  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**

We rode down the hillside to the smouldering pile of carcasses. While Gimli shifted some of the burnt bodies, Legolas came up to me.  
  
Legolas: How did you know that?!  
  
Keikæ: Know what?  
  
Legolas: About the Uruk-hai. There was no way of you seeing or hearing that battle – you were with us... and... and you seemed to know everything that we were about to say or do.  
  
Keikæ: Look, sorry, mate, but I can't tell you right this minute.  
  
Our argument was suddenly interrupted as Gimli pulled a belt out of the pile.  
  
Gimli: It's one of their wee belts.  
  
"Hiro îth... ab 'wanath..." [May they find peace in death] Legolas said in elvish.  
  
::Leggy dear, cute as you are, please don't put your hand on your heart – you look such a prat.::  
  
Legolas turned to me.  
  
"What ya lookin' at me fer?" I asked, although I knew the answer.  
  
Legolas: Well, you seem to know everything....  
  
::What the hell – it ain't like it'll do any harm.::  
  
Keikæ: Wait. Aragorn'll work it out.... Look – 3, 2, 1-  
  
Right on cue, Aragorn kicked a helmet, yelled and fell to his knees.  
  
::Temper, temper.... Wow. He could be captain of the Gondorian football team.::  
  
Gimli: We failed them.  
  
Gimli looked genuinely devastated. Aragorn looked to the side, noticing some tracks.  
  
Aragorn: A hobbit lay here, and the other.  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Legolas look towards me again.

Aragorn: They crawled.

Aragorn followed the tracks, with Gimli behind him. Legolas continued to watch me.

"Their hands were bound." I said, not even looking at the ground. Aragorn's back was to me, so he didn't know this, but Legolas continued to watch. Aragorn: Their bonds were cut. He held up a broken length of thick rope.  
  
"They ran over there." I pointed to a patch of ground several metres away from me.:

:This is fun – I should do this more often.::

"They were followed." This was Aragorn, following footprints.  
  
Keikæ: The tracks lead away from the battle... Aragorn: ...Into Fangorn Forest.  
  
He and Gimli looked up into the dense and dark forest.  
  
Gimli: Fangorn. What madness drove them in there?

::Does a 6ft orc count as madness?::

Legolas was still staring at me in disbelief.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Review!


	12. Reunited Friends

**A/N:**  
Chappie elvensies reviewies answeries:  
  
nilimade: Yup, Aragorn is pissed and the rest of them are stoned. Kinda the best summary possible for LotR. Lol. Thanx for ya review! CU DUDE!!! I'm a headcase.  
  
Dreamlity: Thankies! So your reviews are no longer 'constructive criticisms' ? Well, that's a step in the right direction. Lol. C ya.  
  
Chappie twelvsies riviewies answeries respondies kinda thingies ;P.  
  
R.G.S: What does R.G.S stand for? What d'ye mean NOT TO BAD?! Nah, s'ok, just, next time, tell me if ya review is a flame ;). Thanks!  
  
nilimade: veeeeeeeeeery suspciousssssssssss....... Thanx for reviewing twice!  
  
Dreamality: I looked at ya stories – why ain't it there? Anywho, Thanks for reviewing twice! Some others Glares at reviewers who skipped chap. 11 didn't bother. Thanx!  
  
Jupiter's Light: OoO!! Hehehe...I luv confusing the characters, esp. Legolas!! Mwahahaha!! Nyeheheheheeeeeeeeeeeee!! ;-) ASSBB!!

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 12 - Friends reunited  
  
We walked into the forest for a while. Very quickly, the trees blotted out any trace of sunlight. Gimli fingered a dark stain on a leaf and licked it.  
  
Gimli: Spits Ptui! Orc blood.  
  
::Ew.::  
  
Aragorn: These are strange tracks.  
  
Gimli: The air is so close in here.  
  
Legolas: This forest is old. Very old. Full of memory...  
  
Keikæ: and anger.  
  
We heard groaning, coming from the trees.  
  
Legolas: The trees are speaking to each other.  
  
Aragorn: Whispered Gimli!  
  
Gimli: Huh?  
  
Aragorn: Lower your axe.  
  
Gimli: Oh.  
  
Legolas: Aragorn, nad nâ ennas! [Something is out there.]  
  
Aragorn: Man cenich? [What do you see?]  
  
Keikæ: With my eyes closed.The White Wizard approaches.  
  
Aragorn: Do not let him speak. He will put a spell on us.  
  
Aragorn grasped his sword, Gimli tightened the grip on his axes, and Legolas fitted an arrow to his bow.  
  
Aragorn: We must be quick. Keikæ!  
  
He gestured up. I scrambled silently up the nearest tree, drew my sword and gave a thumbs up. I got a good view from where I was sitting. With a yell, the three suing round to attack. Gimli chucked his axe and Legolas shot an arrow, both of which were smashed to pieces. Aragorn simply dropped his sword, red hot.  
  
::That was bloody useful, wasn't it?::  
  
I saw a bright light, not five ft to my right.  
  
"you are tracking the footsteps of 2 young hobbits." Gandalf said, his voice unrecognisable.  
  
Aragorn: Where are they?  
  
Gandalf: They passed this way the day before yesterday. They met someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you?  
  
Aragorn: Who are you? Show yourself!  
  
The light dimmed, to show Gandalf. The three were amazed. Legolas and Gimli bowed. I then saw that famous shot in the movie where Gandalf passes his staff from one hand, to the other.  
  
::Wow – this is exactly like the film... No, it's better... Hang on – this is the real thing!::  
  
Aragorn: It cannot be. You fell.  
  
Gandalf: Through fire and water. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak, I fought with the Balrog of Morgoth. Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me. And I strayed out of thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead and everyday was as long as a life-age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done.  
  
Aragorn: Gandalf!  
  
Gandalf: Gandalf? Yes... That's what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey. That was my name.  
  
Gimli: Gandalf!  
  
::And Now, I am back as Gandalf the sparkly white! Oh look! Now I'm Gandalf the Tartan!! Ok, Stop quoting Dead Ringers, Keeks.::  
  
Gandalf: I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide. One stage of your journey is over, another begins. War has come to Rohan. We must ride to Edoras with all speed. Keikæ, I believe there is someone here to see you.  
  
I tipped backwards from my sitting position on the tree, turned a back sommie, and landed on my feet to see Laila come out from behind him and hug me.  
  
Laila: Bex has gone with Merry and Pippin and Treebeard – he's this ent – they're like, walking talking trees. They-"  
  
Keikæ: Laila, Laila. Je sais. Je tout sais. [I know. I know everything.]  
  
I gave her a meaningful look. She nodded.  
  
We set off towards the edge of the forest. Legolas grabbed my arm and pulled me back.  
  
Keikæ: What now?  
  
Legolas: You knew!  
  
Keikæ: Knew what?  
  
Legolas: Why didn't you attack like the rest of us?  
  
Keikæ: Because I wasn't quick enough?  
  
Legolas: No. There's more than that. I was watching you.  
  
Keikæ: So?  
  
Legolas: You knew what had happened to Merry and Pippin. You weren't even looking at the where the tracks were at the time. You knew about Gandalf – that's why you didn't attack.... What do you know Keikæ? How do you know?

Keikæ: Look.

I took a breath, momentarily pushed aside the Jack Sparrow acting and regained my original South African accent.

Keikæ: Legolas, I cannot tell you how I know, or what will happen. I do not deny that I do know what each of us is about to say, or do... what's going to happen, but if I do tell you what'll happen, you might try to change that fate, in doing so you'll probably make it worse. Things are best off if they're left without interference. I will tell you, just not here, not now. Trust me.

I regained my piratical acting and speech.

Keikæ: May I ask you something? Have I ever given you reason not to trust me? Do us a favour, I know it's difficult for you but please say nothing... and try not to do anything ster-upid.

I began to walk off.

Legolas: I don't understand you, Keikæ. How can you be calm and so careless in every situation?

Keikæ: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest person you can always trust to be dishonest... Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

::I think I gave him the right answer.::

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Please Review!Please!!1!!!!!!!!1 I noticed some of you dint review chappie 11!! If I do a double download, PLEASE REVIEW BOTH OF THEM!! Also, I currently have 47 reviews. Now, I will keep writing, so do me a favour, and contribute (phew – another long word, I'm on a roll) to raisin that number to 50 – I may be so happy that I'll post another chapter for you!

ASSBB!!

Kess ;P


	13. Edoras

**A/N:** YAY! I'VE GOT OVER 50 REVIEWS!!! And it's all down to YOU PEEPS. Dude, that rocks! THANK YOU!!!  
  
Hem...  
  
Dreamality: Yuh, sorry bout that. It got really confusing doing speech marks cos I could never remember who was saying what. Do you want them back? I know what happened at the bottom. It's well annoying, but I tried putting loads of spaces in and everything, and that wouldn't work, so I thought WTH. Sorry again, but thanx 4 the review!!  
  
kumarasgal23: Thanx 4 da support!!  
  
Jupiter's Light: You don't say a heck of a lot, do you? Ah well, I guess you is tooooo hyper to. HEHE!! Let me join you in that!! HYPER!! ASSBB!!  
  
Elvenstorm: Yerse. THANKIES!!! Ok, I am DEFINITELY hyper. THANKKIIIIIES!!!!  
  
Note to all readers: Does anyone except Dreamality want speech marks? TELL MEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 13 - Edoras  
  
Gandalf: One stage of your journey is over, another begins. War has come to Rohan. We must ride to Edoras with all speed.  
  
When we reached the outskirts of the forest, Gandalf whistle twice I then heard a horse somewhere neigh and saw a beautiful white horse appear. (A/N: This bit's in slow motion, with cheesy music in the background...)  
  
Legolas: That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell.  
  
The horse halted in front of Gandalf.  
  
Gandalf: Shadowfax. He's the lord of all horses and he's been my friend through many dangers.  
  
We then rode to Edoras. Gimli (as always) was on the same horse as Legolas, I was riding with Aragorn, and Laila was on Shadowfax, with Gandalf.  
  
Gandalf: Be Careful what you say. Do not look for welcome here.  
  
A flag of a horse drifted to near the entrance to Edoras. We rode onto the city.  
  
Gimli: You'd find more cheer in a graveyard.  
  
We walked up the stairs to the hall and were blocked by soldiers.

Háma: I cannot allow you before Théoden-King so armed, Gandalf Greyhame. By order of...

Keikæ: Let me guess. Gríma Wormtongue.

Háma looked slightly unnerved. Gandalf nodded to us as a signal to surrender our weapons. Legolas handed over his bow and arrows and knives, as did Aragorn. Gimli reluctantly handed over his axe. Laila and I also surrendered our swords and knives. I noticed Laila kept the lighter in her back pocket, though what she would need it for, I had no idea. Háma gestured to Gandalf.

Háma: Your staff.

Gandalf: Hmm? Oh. You would not part an old man from his walking stick?  
  
We followed Háma follow him into the hall. I saw Gandalf wink at Aragorn. When we entered, there were all these blonde people and then there's this greasy pale guy sitting next to the king.

Keikæ: Whispering Spot the bad guy.

Laila smiled slightly.

Gríma: To Théoden My lord, Gandalf the Grey is coming. He's a herald of woe.  
  
Gandalf: The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late, Théoden King.  
  
As Gandalf spoke, and walked up the hall, I noticed a group of men following our steps.

Gríma: To Théoden He's not welcome.  
  
Théoden: Why should I... welcome you, Gandalf... Stormcrow?  
  
Théoden looked to Gríma.

Gríma: to Théoden A just question, my liege. He walked towards Gandalf. Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear. Lathspell spell I name him. Ill news is an ill guest.

::Jeez – Wash ya hair, slimeball.::

Gandalf: Be silent! Keep your forked tongue behind you teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm! Raised his staff.

::You go Gandalf!::

Gríma: His staff! I told you to take the wizard's staff!  
  
The men who had been following us came forward, ready to fight. Legolas started forward. I stopped him.

Keikæ: No WAY – this is where I'm in my element.

One came forward.

"'scuse me, lady."

So I bopped the sexist git. On the nose. Musta hurt. 2 more came forward. God, they were rubbish at fighting. It was like playing dominoes.

Gandalf: Théoden, son of Thengel, too long have you sat in the shadows.  
  
The rest came forward. I put one off balance with a matrix kick on the chin, kicked another one in the groin, and flipped another one over my shoulder, judo style. I then started towards Gríma, who was trying to crawl away unnoticed, but I needn't have bothered; Gimli caught him and pinned him to the floor. Brilliant expression on Gríma's face - a mixture of fear and horror. Then, I would if I had a very ferocious dwarf practically standing on top of me. Hang on, I've already been there, done that. Well, almost. I suppose a livid wallet-deprived copper is just as scary. Legolas was staring at me as if he'd seen a ghost. Actually, I think half the hall was gawping at me.

Gimli: Growls I would stay still, if I were you.

I punched the last one strait in the face. Probably broke his nose.

Gandalf: Hearken to me! I release you from the spell.

Gandalf closed his eyes and gestured with his hand. I could neither hear nor see anything unusual, which might indicate something odd was going on, but we all knew something strange was happening.  
  
Théoden: Hahahhhahahahah! You have no power here, Gandalf the Grey!

::Oo... I don't think you should've said that....::

Gandalf threw back his grey cloak, revealing him dressed all in white. Théoden was thrown back against his seat.  
  
Théoden: Argh! Gandalf: I will draw you, Saruman, as poison is drawn from a wound.  
  
That was when Éowyn made her appearance. When she saw her uncle threatened, she attempted to run to him, to help him, but was pulled back by Aragorn.  
  
Aragorn: Whispering to Éowyn Wait.  
  
Théoden: As Saruman. If I go. . . Théoden dies.  
  
::Not quite, Get ya facts strait.::  
  
Gandalf: You did not kill me, you will not kill him!  
  
::Too true.::

Théoden: As Saruman Rohan is mine!

Keikæ: I've got news for you mate... It ain't.

Gandalf: Be gone!!  
  
Théoden lunged forwards, only to be thrown back into the chair again. Théoden moaned and slumped forward in the chair. Aragorn let Éowyn go, as she rushed over to her uncle's side as he falls. Théoden looked up. His face began to change gradually into that of a much younger-looking man. Clarity and recognition returned to his eyes.  
  
Théoden: I know your face. Éowyn... Éowyn.

::No... you think?::

Éowyn began to weep with joy.  
  
Théoden: Gandalf?  
  
Gandalf: Breathe the free air again, my friend.  
  
Théoden stood up, looking around him.

Théoden: Dark have been my dreams of late. He looked down at his trembling hands.  
  
Gandalf: Your fingers would remember their old strength better... if they grasped your sword.  
  
Háma presented Théoden's sword. The king reached for it with trembling hands. He wrapped his fingers around it slowly and then drew it, gazing upon the shiny steel. I looked over to Gríma, in the corner, who attempted to escape without success as Gimli pulled him back. Suddenly, Théoden's gaze turned to Gríma. We walked outside, where Gríma was thrown out of the hall and down the stairs.

::Oooo... That's gotta hurt.::

Gríma: Argh! I've only ever served you, my lord!  
  
Keikæ: Yeah, right. What happened to Saruman?

Théoden advanced towards Gríma, holding his sword firmly in his hand.

Théoden: Your leechcraft would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!  
  
Gríma: Send me not from your side.  
  
::Get your words in the right order, and I might just understand what you're saying.::

Théoden raised his sword to kill Gríma. Fortunately for Gríma, Aragorn grabbed him at the last moment, preventing Théoden from killing him.  
  
Aragorn: No, my lord! No, my lord. Let him go. Enough blood has been spilled on his account.  
  
Aragorn extended his hand too help Gríma, who spat on him, scrambled to his feet and pushed his way through the crowd.  
  
::Wonderful.::

Gríma: Get out of my way!  
  
Háma: Hail, Théoden king!  
  
The gathering citizens knelt in homage before Théoden. Aragorn knelt also. I saw Gríma ride out of Edoras on his black horse. As Théoden turned to go back into the hall, he looked up, saying:

"Where is Théodred? Where is my son?"

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Review!


	14. An Impressive Fight aka ta

**A/N:**  
  
Ok. LOADSA reviews. Thank you reviewers!! hands out imaginary sweets – sorry, candyKeep reviewing!  
  
Allasea2: Dude, that sucks! Iv bin threatened 2 have my computer taken out of my room and not allowed to go on it ever, but it's never actually happened... yet. I never do my homework. I come into school at 8 in the morning so I can fiddle on the computers. I do mi homework in lunch time which kind of works out well.... Anywho, keep reviewing!!  
  
Kumarasgal23: Your checking almost every day? You're most likely 1 of 2 things: 1. Obsessed. 2. insane. I kind of fit in2 both categories, so that's ok. Thankies!! P.S There's a small thin called author alert. It kind of works.  
  
Elvenstorm: WOOHOOOO yup, I love kicking butt and yup, Legolas is still cofuzzled... poor guy. Probably don't no what hit him. Lol.  
  
Jupiter's Light: SUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I'm insaaaaaaaaaaane!!  
  
In the Easter holidays, I'm going 2 a very soggy Wales... ill tri 2 put up another chappie before then, but I'm just saying that I might not. Woohoo! Stars!!  
  
On with the story....  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 15 - An Impressive Fight (AKA Ta.)  
  
Théoden walked out of the city, closely followed by Gandalf. I knew what was happening, so I didn't follow. That didn't mean I'd just sit around, listening to people's conversations. Legolas once again, approached me. I'll give you 3 guesses what he wanted to talk about.  
  
Legolas: Why won't you tell us, Keikæ? Why won't you tell us?  
  
Keikæ: Look, I won't deny that I do know what's about to happen, but I can't tell you. Some things are meant to happen, and some bad things that happen eventually help. I will tell you, eventually. Asking ain't goin' to change me answer, savvy?  
  
Legolas was silent for a minute.  
  
Legolas: What does savvy mean?  
  
::Oh, god, I'd forgotten about this – I don't even know what it means.::  
  
Keikæ: Ah.... To tell you the truth, I'm not entirely sure. I's to understand an idea, if you please. Capish, Comprendé.  
  
I had a feeling this answer well and truly stumped him. I'd only been repeating what I'd found in the dictionary when Laila couldn't tell me what it meant either. 5 seconds later guards entered the hall carrying 2 children.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Éowyn: They had no warning. They were unarmed. Now the wildmen are moving through the Westfold, burning as they go. Rick, cot and tree.  
  
Freda: Where's mama?  
  
Éowyn: Shh...  
  
Gandalf: This is but a taste of the terror that Saruman will unleash. All the more potent for he is driven now by fear of Sauron. Ride out and meet him head on. Draw him away from your women and children.  
  
Gandalf leant forward and put a hand on Théoden's chair. Théoden look up.  
  
Gandalf: You must fight.  
  
Keikæ: You have two thousand good men riding north as we speak.  
  
Aragorn: Yes. Éomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their king.  
  
::Jeez – Military talk is so boring when you've heard it 100 times before.::  
  
Théoden: They will be three hundred leagues from here by now. Éomer cannot help us. I know what it is that you want of me. But I will not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war.  
  
::Ok, ok – calm down dude.::  
  
Aragorn: Open war is upon you.  
  
Keikæ: Whether you would risk it or not.  
  
Théoden: When last I looked, Théoden, not Aragorn, was king of Rohan.  
  
I then noticed Théoden had completely ignored me all the time I'd been there.  
  
Keikæ: Then what is the king's decision?  
  
Only then did he look up.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
I followed Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas and a seriously grumpy Gimli walk towards the stables. Laila walked behind me.  
  
Gimli: Helm's Deep! They flee to the mountains when they should stand and fight. Who will defend them if not their king.  
  
Aragorn: He's only doing what he thinks is best for his people. Helm's Deep has saved them in the past.  
  
Keikæ: Aye, but there is no way out of that ravine. Théoden is walking into a trap. He thinks he's leading them to safety. What they will get is a massacre.  
  
It seemed only then that Gandalf noticed I was saying exactly what he was about to say. He paused, momentarily looking slightly unnerved, but continued, showing no sign of it.  
  
Gandalf: Théoden has a strong will but I fear for him. I fear for the survival of Rohan. He will need you before the end, Aragorn, Keikæ. The people of Rohan will need you. The defences HAVE to hold.  
  
"They will hold." We replied in unison.  
  
Gandalf: Laila – will you come with me? I don't believe you will like the journey to Helm's Deep.  
  
Laila: Yuh, sure.  
  
I hugged Laila, whispering: "See you mate." Gandalf turned to Shadowfax and stroked him gently.  
  
Gandalf: The Grey Pilgrim... that's what they used to call me. Three hundred lives of men I've walked this earth and now I have no time. With luck, my search will not be in vain. Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East.  
  
Aragorn: Go.  
  
Legolas jumped back as Gandalf rode out of the stable with Laila in front of him, and over the plains of Rohan. Aragorn made his way to the hall. I followed him. I wanted to see this first hand.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Éowyn opened a chest and took out the sword. She unsheathed it and began to practice. She swung around to meet by Aragorn, who blocked her parry.  
  
::Dude – that was neat.::  
  
Aragorn: You have some skill with a blade.  
  
With a swift move, Éowyn swung her sword and rendered Aragorn vulnerable, gaining the upper hand. (A/N: No worries if you didn't get what that meant.) She then stepped back and sheathed the sword.  
  
Éowyn: Women of this country learned long ago: Those without swords may still die upon them. I fear neither death nor pain.  
  
Aragorn: What do you fear, my lady?  
  
I mouthed the words as Éowyn said them.  
  
Éowyn: A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valour has gone beyond recall or desire.  
  
Aragorn: You are a daughter of kings, a shieldmaiden of Rohan. I do not think that would be your fate.  
  
He spotted me.  
  
Aragorn: Keikæ!  
  
::Shit.::  
  
He gestured for me to come over.  
  
Aragorn: Éowyn, this is Keikæ, she's been travelling with us for several days.  
  
I came over and bowed slightly.  
  
Keikæ: Pleased to meet you.  
  
I was interested to see how she'd react to a 'pirate'. A 21st century girl version of Captain Jack Sparrow at that. I must say, I think she took it quite well. Considering.  
  
Éowyn: Can you fight?  
  
Keikæ: A little.  
  
I saw Aragorn make his exit. I drew my sword, knowing what she had in mind. No words had to be said. She struck hard.  
  
Éowyn: Who are you exactly?  
  
I parried her blow and dodged to the side.  
  
Keikæ: Capt'n Keikæ Sparrow.  
  
She hit again.  
  
Éowyn: Captain? Captain of what?  
  
This time I struck, just to meet her sword.  
  
Keikæ: Captain of the Black Pearl.  
  
Éowyn: Black Pearl?  
  
::God, how thick does she get? Ok, I suppose she's never seen Pirates of the Caribbean, and there's no such thing as the 'Pearl', so I guess she ain't that thick after all. What a useless conclusion.::  
  
Keikæ: Boat – ship. Pirate ship.  
  
Éowyn: You're a pirate?  
  
She paused, looking confused.  
  
Keikæ: Aye.  
  
I took advantage of her confusion to fight her further towards the wall. The tables turned. Having nothing to say, I continued to drive her backwards towards where I had been sitting. She continued parrying each blow.  
  
Éowyn: Why a pirate?  
  
Keikæ: It's kind of a bet. You'll find out in a few weeks.  
  
She lunged, causing me to jump backwards. Our places swapped. I was getting tired and my wrist was beginning to ache. Not a good sign. To avoid being pinned to the table, I back sommied onto it, gaining height advantage.  
  
Éowyn: Giving up yet?  
  
I lowered my sword. Once again, she had that wide-eyed look of surprise on her face.  
  
::God, you look stoned!::  
  
I grinned.  
  
Keikæ: Not on ya life.  
  
I raised my sword and somersaulted over her, always fighting – even in midair. The next move was a couple of tinsicas, followed by a backie walkover, then double backflipped, gaining some time to give my wrist a short rest, fought back, harder. We burst out of the front doors of the hall, startling the 2 guards positioned there. One of the flags from the flagpole had gone missing. We jumped onto the wall, never pausing for breath. I caught her off balance. Wrong. Bluff. She swung round at the last minute, catching me unawares. My sword flew out of my hand.  
  
::What the hell.::  
  
So, What do I do? I dive after it, completely forgetting there's rock, not water, below me. Still, I caught my sword in midair, turned a somersault (A/N: Yes, she does like doing sommies, but I can't blame her.) and landed neatly, on my feet, facing her, looking up.  
  
Keikæ: Ta.  
  
I saluted and walked off in a not-too-straight line.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Hehe. I had great fun writing this chapter. I think I did quite well at it, considering I didn't have the slightest bloody idea of what I was talking about. Reviews! I lub reviews! So be a nice reader and review!!!

ASSBB!!  
  
Kess ;P


	15. First Taste of Battle

**A/N:** WoWoOwOwOwoWoW

Ova 60 reviews!! Thankies!!

Jupiter's Light: wOwOOoOo... Thanx!! (are always this hyper?)

Kumarasga23: Sorry! I dint mean to insult u! Sorry!! Please don't kill me!! I'm really sorry! (seriously, I am, I dint no I was insulting you)

Lothliana: I am! And I'll probably get another 1 up before too. I read some of your stories, though I didn't get time to review them. They're well good! Keep writing and reading!

Alassea2: Was that a gentle hint to get the song into the story? I don't know it, but I've got the lyrics, which look veeeeeeery weird and I will put it on if u like :) Email me.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Chapter 15 - First Taste of Battle

Having nowhere else to go, I ran in the direction of the stables, where I found Legolas and Gimli. God knows where Aragorn was.  
  
Gimli: And where have you been?  
  
At this point, I was tempted for the storyline to go a bit like this:  
  
Keikæ: None Of your damn business. Keep ya oversized Dwarven nose away from where it doesn't belong Midget.  
  
However, I figured this probably wouldn't go down too well, so instead, I said:  
  
Keikæ: I've been up at the hall. Why?  
  
Legolas: Just... wondering. What were you doing up there?  
  
::That was way too casual. Bit curious for an elf.::  
  
Keikæ: Talking, mostly.  
  
::You know exactly what I've been doing.::  
  
Legolas: Yes... Come, we are leaving.  
  
::Whatever. This must be the first time Elf and Dwarf have... schemed together. They've got something up their sleeve, and I don't know what it is, but I get a feeling I'll find out soon enough.::  
  
We joined the ever-lengthening column.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
I strolled beside Gimli, who was on a horse, chatting with Éowyn who was leading it by the reins. Aragorn had reappeared and the Rohirrim refugees were now well on the way to Helm's Deep. I tried to stay out of the conversation. Ha. I failed miserably.  
  
Éowyn: And what of your past, Keikæ. Where are you from?  
  
Keikæ: Ok. I hope you've got a while, cos this is going to take quite a bit of time to explain. Brief pause, look stupid, continue when nobody challenges you Right. I'll start from the beginning, then.  
  
::Well where else would you start?::  
  
I told them my story of our flat in London, miniature illegal adventures and any other stupid things I've done in my past. Yuh, I know, real sad, but I couldn't think of anything else to tell them. After many questions, I finally got to falling into Middle Earth, my encounters with Elves and anything else I had forgot to mention. I tried to avoid questions regarding how I already knew of Middle Earth and everybody's names. I had a feeling that would just lead to further complications.  
  
Gimli: It's true you don't see many Dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they're often mistaken for Dwarf men.  
  
Éowyn smiled at this and looked back at Aragorn, who was currently fulfilling his ranger name of 'Strider'.  
  
Aragorn: Gestures and whispers It's the beards....  
  
::I'd forgotten that bit of the film.::  
  
I grinned.  
  
Gimli: And this, in turn, has given rise to the belief that there are no Dwarf women. And that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground!  
  
Éowyn began to laugh.  
  
Gimli: Hehehe! Which is of course ridiculous... Whoa!!  
  
The horse suddenly reared up and galloped away as Éowyn dropped the reins. Gimli toppled off after a short distance and landed with a loud thump. Éowyn rushed off after him.  
  
Gimli: Struggling to get up It's alright, it's alright. Nobody panic. That was deliberate. It was deliberate.  
  
By now, Aragorn was riding next to Théoden.  
  
Théoden: I haven't seen my niece smile for a long time. She was a girl when they brought her father back dead. Cut down by Orcs. She watched her mother succumb to grief.  
  
Éowyn ran to help Gimli up. She laughed as she brushed him off and looked back at Aragorn with the sun behind her and the wind in her hair. (A/N: Throws up No I'm not the kinda person who likes putting that kinda stuff in. It's like in a cheesy movie, and much as I love lotr and it is NOT a cheesy movie, I must say, when they put it in slow motion, it really makes me feel sick.) At that particular moment, Aragorn seemed to be enchanted by Éowyn's light-hearted image.  
  
Théoden: Then she was left alone, to tend her king in growing fear. Doomed to wait upon an old man, who should have loved her as a father.  
  
As Éowyn gazed upon Aragorn, her smile slowly disappeared.  
  
We stopped at some random place that I didn't know. Well, they didn't tell you where they made camp in the films so you can't exactly blame me. I was sitting next to Aragorn who was working on his sword, waiting for Éowyn to approach him with a cooking pot and a plate. I didn't have to wait long.  
  
Éowyn: Gimli?  
  
Gimli: No, I couldn't. I really couldn't.  
  
She passed Gimli and continued towards Aragorn.  
  
Éowyn: I made some stew. It isn't much, but it's hot.  
  
Éowyn filled a bowl and presents it to Aragorn. She gave him a spoon and he nods.  
  
Aragorn: Thank you.  
  
Éowyn: Keikæ?  
  
::Can't be much worse than Laila's.::  
  
Keikæ: Yes please.  
  
I answered very enthusiastically. Whilst Aragorn attempted to firgure out what the meat was, I took a large spoonful, and swallowed it, with out tasting. I smiled, nodding very enthusiastically.  
  
Keikæ: mmm... Dude, that is delicious. Seriously! Absolutely brilliant.  
  
Éowyn smiled, obviously pleased with my reaction.  
  
Éowyn: Oh, thank you. Most people try to stay away from my cooking.  
  
::Hmmm... I wonder why?::  
  
Keikæ: It's just because they don't like to try things that are new. Either that or they're jealous.  
  
Éowyn smiled again.  
  
::This is really mean, Keeks.::  
  
Keikæ: Lord Aragorn. You haven't tried yours.  
  
Not knowing what he was letting himself in for, Aragorn put some strange white meat on his spoon and chewed it, looking up at Éowyn who, despite what I had said, looked a bit disappointed and waited eagerly. He swallowed it – with difficulty – with an expression on his face that was worth an Oscar. He nodded.  
  
Aragorn: Hmmm... It's good.  
  
::Poor guy.::  
  
Éowyn: relieved Really?  
  
Éowyn turned around and left. I leant over to Aragorn, whispering, as he made to pour away the rest.  
  
Keikæ: Don't even think about it.  
  
Aragorn paused in slight confusion, and Éowyn turned around.  
  
Keikæ: Ya see.  
  
Éowyn: My uncle told me a strange thing. He staid that you rode to war with Thengel, my grandfather. But he must be mistaken.  
  
Aragorn: King Théoden has a good memory. He was only a small child at the time.  
  
Éowyn: Then you must be at least 60.  
  
Aragorn looked a bit embarrassed.  
  
Éowyn: Seventy? You cannot be 80!  
  
Aragorn: Eighty-seven.  
  
Aragorn was embarrassed, Éowyn was astonished and I was amused. She then realised the truth.  
  
Éowyn: You are one of the Dúnedain. A descendant of Númenor, blessed with long life. It was said that your race has passed into legend.  
  
Aragorn: There are few of us left. The Northern Kingdom was destroyed long ago.  
  
Éowyn: I'm sorry. Please, eat!  
  
Aragorn made to continue his meal his meal as Éowyn left. Of course, he didn't do that, he poured it away at the first chance he got, before leaning over to me, whispering.  
  
Aragorn: How can you do that?!  
  
I pretended to ignore him for a second.  
  
Keikæ: Oh, sorry, were you talking to me?  
  
It was bit obvious he was talking to me, but I played stupid anyway. He obviously didn't fall for it.  
  
Aragorn: Why do you lie so much?  
  
Keikæ: Hey! I was not lying.  
  
Aragorn: I find that very unbelievable, but I will say that you're very good at it.  
  
Keikæ: Oh. Well firstly, thank you. And secondly, I was not lying.  
  
Aragorn looked slightly confused.  
  
Aragorn: How could you eat that and still be smiling?  
  
Keikæ: Trust me on this one. Have you ever tried Laila's cooking?  
  
He shook his head.  
  
Keikæ: Keep it that way. Seriously, if you give Laila a pot and ingredients, you can guarantee you won't be feeling to good about it later.  
  
Aragorn: How bad is it? Her cooking, I mean.  
  
Keikæ: It's bad. 'Bout 10 times worse than that. In the kitchen, she is a walking disaster area. That's why I haven't let her near the oven for 3 years. Get this – she literally blew up the Microwave. I mean, it's impossible to muck up those meals – you just stick in the microwave for 5 minutes and I mean, ok, it's one thing to cover the inside of the bloody thing in that night's dinner, but Laila somehow manages to plaster the whole kitchen in the stuff.  
  
That night, I crept up near to where Aragorn was sitting, smoking his pipe. I'll give you three guesses of what he was thinking about.  
  
::Ok, Keeks, you have two choices: 1. You be REAL mean. 2. You disappear. 3. You act all freaky and know-it-all, like you have been acting for most of this journey, although Aragorn's not yet twigged. Ok. Eenie, meenie, miini, Jeffery, out she goes. Number 3 it is, then.::

Aragorn whispered words so quietly, not even an elf would be able to hear them. (A/N: She couldn't hear him, but her timing was perfect and she knew exactly what he was thinking.)  
  
Aragorn: Dolen i vâd o nin. [My path is hidden from me.]  
  
::Here goes.::  
  
It was barely more than a whisper, but just loud enough for him to hear.  
  
Keikæ: Si peliannen i vâd na dail lîn. Si boe ú-dhannathach. [It is already laid before your feet. You cannot falter now.]  
  
No, I don't speak elvish, but I've memorised every line of the film.  
  
Aragorn: Arwen...  
  
He finally twigged.  
  
Aragorn: Keikæ?!  
  
I got away, sharpish, knowing I'd have to face him in the morning.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**

It was the second day of the journey to Helm's Deep, and I was attempting to keep out of Aragorn's way, for a very good reason. I failed. Curiosity got the better of me, and so, I found myself dawdling along behind Éowyn and Aragorn. It didn't matter – he wouldn't say anything in front of Éowyn.  
  
Éowyn: Where is she? The woman who gave you that jewel.  
  
Aragorn turned to face me. I knew exactly what was going through his mind.  
  
Keikæ: It was a gift. Keep it.  
  
I whispered the last part.  
  
Éowyn: My lord?  
  
Thank god she hadn't heard. I got there before Aragorn.  
  
Keikæ: She is sailing to the Undying Lands, with all that is left of her kin.  
  
I suddenly realised something. This was the part where the column got attacked.  
  
"Shit!" I muttered. Unfortunately, both Éowyn and Aragorn heard me.  
  
Aragorn: Keikæ... What's wrong?  
  
I ran up to the front, to where the king was.  
  
Keikæ: My lord.  
  
::To hell with that.::  
  
I didn't bother to wait for an answer.  
  
Keikæ: Ok. You probably don't believe me now, but please, just listen.  
  
He paused. I took this as a sign to continue.  
  
Keikæ: The wolves of Isengaurd are on their way.  
  
Théoden: I haven't got time for this-  
  
Keikæ: No, please, just listen. Saruman has sent-  
  
Théoden: Please excuse me, but I must speak to the scout.  
  
::God – you must think I have shit for brains or summin'!::  
  
Before I could argue any further, I recognised Legolas' voice shout:  
  
Legolas: A scout!  
  
Théoden: What is it? What do you see?  
  
Aragorn sprinted back towards us.  
  
Aragorn: Wargs! We are under attack!  
  
At this shout, the villagers begin to cry and panic.  
  
::Pathetic. Well – can't say I didn't warn you, Théoden _King_.::  
  
Keikæ: Do you believe me now?  
  
Finding no answer, he ignored me, swinging round to face Aragorn.  
  
Aragorn: Get them out of here!  
  
Théoden: All riders to the head of the column! Keikæ, is it? Can you fight?  
  
Keikæ: You mean will I fight, and the answers yes.  
  
At that, a soldier pushed the reins of a horse into my hand. I mounted, watching Gimli attempt to do the same.  
  
Gimli: Come on, get me up here, I'm a rider! Argh!  
  
Théoden: To Éowyn You must lead the people to Helm's Deep. And make haste!  
  
Éowyn: I can fight!  
  
Théoden: No! You must do this... for me.  
  
Éowyn held Théoden's gaze for a moment and then turned to attend to the villagers.  
  
As I went to join the rest of the riders, I paused by Eowyn, whispering to her quietly.

Keikae: Time after next. Trust me on this one. Juts please don't do anything stupid.  
  
Théoden yelled to the soldiers: "Follow me! Yah!"  
  
I again watch Gimli struggle with Arod.  
  
Gimli: Forward. I mean, charge forward! March forward! That's it! Go on!  
  
Aragorn turned on Hasufel to meet Eowyn's eyes. They held each other's gaze for a moment before Aragorn turned to join Théoden on his rather unsubtle way of attacking the orcs. Éowyn departed with the villagers in the opposite direction.  
  
As we rose over a mound, I finally saw what we'd be fighting. Ok, on the Big Screen is pretty good, but in real life, trust me, it's frightening. Legolas took aim at the distant target and fell a warg rider. He drew another arrow and killed another. He quickly ran and mounted Arod with a smooth leap and joins in the fray with Gimli behind him on horseback.  
  
::Mon, I wish I could do that – Laila's been practising that move for ages.::  
  
I found myself wishing she was here with me now.  
  
Warg-riders: Argh!!  
  
Théoden: CHARGE!!  
  
It was exactly like the film. Just much scarier and 20 times more realistic.  
  
::Hmm... I wonder why?...::  
  
Soldiers and orcs fighting all around me, hacking, tearing at each others throats. Literally. I would've liked to see Gimli's little act of practically being crushed under an orc and two wargs, but at the time, you can't exactly choose where you are or aren't.  
  
I slashed left and right, ploughing my way through the stinking creatures along with several others, Aragorn one of them.  
  
::Hang on – Aragorn!::  
  
At that moment, Aragorn was knocked off Hasufel and attacked by another orc called Sharku. (A/N: Don't ask.) By now he was on the back of a warg beating up Sharku. He was then thrown of, and dragged along by the warg. I couldn't get there fast enough. Sharku was thrown off, but in doing so, he ripped the Evenstar pendant from Aragorn's neck as he fell. I could see Aragorn's wrist tangled with the saddle straps. I hate it when I'm watching something, but can't do anything about it. He was getting closer to the edge of the cliff. I had to do something.  
  
I urged the horse I was riding on, and tried to slash the straps on the beast. On the third attempt, I cut him free. Too late. The warg ran straight off the cliff and they both disappeared over the edge. I jumped forward off my horse, who skidded to a halt, and grabbed his hand. Unfortunately, he was alot heavier than I expected, so I found myself being pulled over the edge too. At the last minute, I grabbed a branch sticking out of the cliff, near the top. I looked down at the rapids below us. Something I very much regretted.  
  
Keikæ: Ah. Ok, just, hang in there for a moment. Literally.  
  
::Oh yeah, a very useful thing to say.::  
  
Legolas: Aragorn!  
  
Gimli: Aragorn?  
  
::Finally!::  
  
Keikæ: Yo! Legolas! Yo! Down 'ere.  
  
They came near to the cliff and heard Sharku wheezing and laughing.  
  
Gimli: Tell me what happened and I will ease your passing.  
  
Keikæ: Oi! Don't bother with him – he'll die – we're in need of a little help here!  
  
Sharku: He's cough dead. Laughs evilly Took a little tumble off the cliff.  
  
::Why are they ignoring me?::  
  
I was beginning to lose grip of Aragorn's hand.  
  
Legolas looked towards the edge of the cliff, not seeing me, of course.  
  
Legolas: You lie!  
  
::I swear I've heard him say that somewhere before...::  
  
Sharku chortled and died. Legolas looks down at Sharku's fist and finds the Evenstar pendant.  
  
Keikæ: OI!! LOOK! LEGOLAS! WHELP! – GET YOUR ELVEN BUTT OVER HERE AND LEND A HAND!!!  
  
He grabbed it, ran to the edge of the cliff and peered over the side to see the great drop, rushing waters below, and me, dangling there, my arms aching like hell from holding both me and Aragorn there, who was unsuccessfully trying to get a foothold. Gimli came to stand beside him.  
  
Legolas: Aragorn! Over his shoulder. Rope!  
  
His hand was slipping. A thought came to me: Aragorn survived when he came off the cliff, but I had changed that. If he dropped he'd probably die, and I would feel really guilty because it was my entire fault.  
  
Keikæ: Don't let go! Don't you dare let go!  
  
Too late. I felt Aragorn's hand slip from mine, and I managed a final lunge to grab his hand, but with no luck. The result: he fell into the water and my (well, more like Bex') hat fell in after him. The hat was the least of my worries. That bendy twig I'd been calling a branch snapped, and I went to join Aragorn and Bex' beloved hat and was probably going to Davie Jones' Locker. That was when Legolas came with the rope.  
  
::Bit late now.::  
  
Thank God I was wrong. He threw one end of the rope, and either by luck or miracle, I caught it. Trust me, being slam against the wall of a cliff and being dragged to the top is NOT fun. Don't try it, just trust me.  
  
I scrambled over the top with some help from the elf.  
  
Théoden: To his men Get the wounded on horses. The wolves of Isengard will return. Leave the dead.  
  
Legolas turned to Théoden, dropping me, an expression of perplexed anger on his face.  
  
::Aye, well thank you very much. I ONLY tried to save ya mates life.::  
  
Théoden put a hand on Legolas' shoulder.  
  
Théoden: Come.  
  
I left Legolas and Gimli to stare down at the river.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

**A/N:**  
  
Too short? That's the longest chapter I've written yet! 10 Pages!! Flippin hell Please review and I'll update. Deal?  
  
Kess ;P


	16. Returned From the Dead

**A/N:**  
  
Last Chappie for a week because I'll be in Wales tomorrow, as I've told you so many times, so enjoy... I hope it's long enough for you....  
  
Toya: Hmmm... should I help you? Yeah, if you can get me out of trouble more often... do ye want to meet up soon... (i.e., Sunday/ Monday) PLEASE HELP ME ON MY ENGLISH!!! (i.e., read your mail!!) cya ASSBB!!  
  
Marlene: Yeah, they're meant to be obnoxious pests. Keeps them away from being mary-sues (well, not so much Laila). Anywho, this story is going to end up quite long, and there might even be a sequel, and YES it was slow to start with, I'm not denying that, but I am trying to keep them away from the 'Mary-Sue' side of things as much as possible, capish? Your second paragraph doesn't quit make sense... yuh that was the 1st step – quitting their stupid pranks... who the Hell said they were meant to be more likeable by now? Definitely NOT me. Also, she's meant to be kinda taking the piss outta JS. If its not working, tell me how to improve it, and I might... also, I really don't care if you think it's crap – why did you read it if it's so rubbish? Though I do think you could flame for a living... I'm not trying to change them – I'm trying to write something different, like, I mean, there are loads of Mary-sues, and loads of ones that aren't. I'm trying to write something different, ok? You're probably laughing at me right now. And what do you want me to do bout the change in format? Do you want me to change it back. I'll say this: YOU ARE A VERY GOOD FLAMER and I do appreciate your review, but if I did all you've told me to do, it would be exactly like most 'girls fall into ME' story. Anywho, do you think I should change the format? Cya. Ta for reviewing.  
  
Crecy: dude, thanx! I'll keep writing. ASSBB!!  
  
Jupiter's Light: kewl AND great AND super? Dude, that rox! Thankies almighty insane one! ASSBB!!  
  
Kumarasgal23: thanx... sorry I insulted you in the first place... THANKIES!! Woohoo Hyper!! O yuh, have a good Spring Break :D !!  
  
Allasea2: dude... band from the internet... that Sux.. I mean SERIOUSLI sux... have a good time... P.S where did Cybertoodles cum from? Cya.  
  
Well... last 1 for a week... enjoy it!!  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 16 - Returned From The Dead

The rest of the journey was not exactly what you'd call happy. Wounded on horses, everyone going in the same direction. We had been hoping to catch up with Éowyn and the rest of the group that set off from Edoras. Gimli was always deep in thought, and Legolas was getting over the loss of his friend. We arrived at Helm's deep not long after the others.  
  
Gamling: Make way for Théoden!  
  
Soldiers: Sire!  
  
Gamling: Make way for the king!  
  
Éowyn rushed down to meet them. I walked to the side, not wanting to be in anyone's way.  
  
Éowyn: So few. So few of you have returned.  
  
Théoden dismounted. Théoden: Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives.  
  
Gimli approached Éowyn, knowing someone would have to tell her. Gimli: My lady...  
  
Éowyn: Lord Aragorn, where is he?  
  
::Let's interrupt juuuuust... here.::

Keikæ: He fell.  
  
Éowyn seemed shaken at this and raised teary eyes to Théoden who looked down and walked away, confirming her unasked question.

Keikæ: I'm so sorry.

::Now that is difficult to say with a straight face.::

It was sinking in.

Keikæ: Milady, I am so, so sorry.

And for once, I meant it. She looked like she was about to burst into tears. I put my arm around her shoulder and whispered in her ear.

Keikæ: Trust me, he'll come back – savvy?

I nodded at her and left, leaving her in peace. For once I felt like I hadn't been a complete Bastard to someone in grief... er... if that makes any sense....

**-x-x-x-x-x-  
**  
Théoden: Draw all our forces behind the wall. Bar the gate, and set a watch on the surround.

I couldn't be bothered for all this, I wandered around, knowing Aragorn would still be here. I found Legolas first. He still seemed completely out of it.

::What the hell – just offer what little comfort you have.::

Keikæ: Legolas...

Legolas: Please tell me, Keikæ – you know things. Just tell me what you came here to tell me. Keikæ: Ah. Well... I think he's still alive.  
  
Legolas looked up at me.

Legolas: What?!

Keikæ: I guess you learned to say that from me, savvy?

Legolas: I wouldn't know – you come out with the strangest of phrases.

Keikæ: Ok, well... I think he's still alive.

There was silence from Legolas.

Keikæ: At least, he should be alive, but I may have mucked things up a bit.

Legolas: Sorry?

::I don't think I should have said that last bit

Keikæ: He should be here by now.

He started towards the gate. I joined him.   
  
We were there just as he rode into Helm's Deep, to the amazement of all.  
  
Refugees: He's alive!  
  
Gimli pushed and shoved his way through the crowd.

Gimli: Where is he? Where is he? Get out of the way. I'm gonna kill him! You are the luckiest, the canniest and the most reckless man I ever knew! Bless you, laddie!  
  
Aragorn: Gimli, where is the king?  
  
Gimli gestured to the hall. Aragorn walked straight into us.  
  
Legolas: Le ab-dollen. [You're late.]

They smiled. I grinned.

Legolas: You look terrible.

That was the line. I burst out laughing. Both looked at me strangely.

Keikæ: Sorry. Dude – I love that line!  
  
Legolas: Right.

Aragorn: Yes. Well, er... Keikæ, I would like to speak to you later.

I reduced my grin to a smile, and caught sight of Éowyn who also smiled with relief while Legolas gave back the Evenstar pendant. I gave Éowyn a small wink.  
  
Aragorn: Hannon le. [Thank you.]  
  
I followed Aragorn into the keep.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Théoden: A great host, you say?  
  
Aragorn: All Isengard is emptied.  
  
Théoden: How many?  
  
Aragorn: Ten thousand strong at least.  
  
Théoden: Ten thousand?!  
  
Keikæ: It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of men. They will be here by nightfall.  
  
Théoden: Let them come!  
  
::Idiot.::

Théoden: to Gamling I want every man and strong lad able to bear arms to be ready for battle by nightfall.  
  
Gamling nodded and went off. Théoden stood at the gate of Helm's Deep, speaking to Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli.

::Yeah, just because he was talking to them specifically, don't mean I can't... join in with the conversation.::  
  
Théoden: We will cover the causeway and the gate from above. No army has ever breached the Deeping Wall or set foot inside the Hornburg.  
  
Gimli: This is no rabble of mindless Orcs. These are Uruk-hai. Their armour is thick and their shields broad.  
  
Théoden: I have fought many wars, Master Dwarf. I know how to defend my own keep.  
  
::Oi! Don't dis the dwarf!::  
  
Théoden: They will break upon this fortress like water on rock. Saruman's hordes will pillage and burn, we've seen it before. Crops can be resown; homes rebuilt. Within these walls, we will outlast them.  
  
Keikæ: No, they won't. Saruman has weapons unimaginable to you right now but please, just listen for once. He will breach the deeping wall.

I said this bit slowly, and clearly, but only so that he could hear it. I continued in this manner.

Keikæ: They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages. They come to destroy its people. Down to the last child.  
  
Théoden turned his gaze to me.

Théoden: What would you have me do? Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread. If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance.  
  
Aragorn: Send out riders, my lord. You must call for aid.  
  
Keikæ: C'mon dude, you gotta do somethin'.

They looked quite surprised at me speaking to the King in this way. Théoden ignored my comment.

Théoden: And who will come? Elves? Dwarves? We are not so lucky in our friends as you. The old alliances are dead.  
  
Aragorn: Gondor will answer.  
  
Théoden: Gondor? Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell? Where was Gondor when our enemies closed in around us? Where was Gon... – No, my lord Aragorn, we are alone.

He began to walk away. I felt something had to be done.

Keikæ: Oh, for Pete's sake. Why the hell not?

Théoden: Why call, when no one will come?

Keikæ: That's not an answer. And you don't know who will come until you try. Just for once, let go of ya damn pride and do what you know is right.

By the way he paused, I could see I had overstepped the mark. He turned and marched towards me, whispering.

Théoden: Do not tell me what to do, young Lady. It is not your place. He walked away again, calling out orders Get the women and children into the caves.  
  
Gamling: We need more time to lay provisions for a siege, lord –  
  
Théoden: Cutting him off There is no time. War is upon us!  
  
Rohan captain: to the soldiers Secure the gate!  
  
::NonononoNOOOOO!!! This is all wrong – I know exactly what's going to happen. Gooooood how STUpid does he GET::  
  
I felt well and truly told off. It was as if I was 9 again, but knowing the kings mind was made, I left to see the women and children in the caves. Ok, I know, not the best thing to do, but I wasn't going to hang around.

Soldier 1: Move back! Move to the caves!  
  
Soldier 2: Keep moving!  
  
Soldier 3: Quickly now!  
  
I was regretting that choice. It's all doom and gloom, every person looking like they were going to their funeral. That's just 1 side of it. Most people were crying, not knowing when or if another would return. I found nothing comforting to say, so I wandered to the armoury. Before I got out of the caves, a little girl tapped my hand, not able to tap my arm. I recognised her as Freda, the girl who had come on horseback to Edoras.  
  
Freda: Why are you dressed funny?  
  
I was already surprised that no one had asked me about this. At least, I guess I did better than Laila and Bex cos I was usually wearing my jacket, and blended in quite well. However, I had just taken it off when the little girl approached me.  
  
At this point, I dropped the Jack Sparrow act – I didn't know if it had been a month, my watch didn't tell the date, but I didn't think she'd get the slightest idea of what I was talking about if I acted and talked like a pirate. Then, I wasn't entirely sure she'd get what I was saying if I spoke with my normal, South African accent.  
  
Keikæ: Because I'm not from around here. I come from a place far away. Your name's Freda, isn't it?  
  
Freda: Yes. You fought against them, didn't you? I saw you ride off on the journey here. I also saw you in Edoras. Why is your accent so strange?  
  
Freda's mother walked up behind her.  
  
Freda's-mother-who's-name-is-Morwen: Freda! You mustn't say such things! To me I'm sorry, milady.  
  
::Wow! Did she just call me a lady?!::  
  
Keikæ: Nah – Tha's cool. Um... that means it's ok.  
  
Her face was blank, completely expressionless.  
  
Keikæ: It's alright, I don't mind. I'm actually quite surprised that no one's commented on my strange clothes and accent yet, except for Freda here.  
  
She still said nothing, looking completely stoned.  
  
Long embarrassing silence  
  
Keikæ: Uh. Well... I'll be around.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
In the armoury, weapons were being distributed. I saw Aragorn pick up a battered sword, just to toss it back.  
  
Aragorn: Farmer, farriers, stable boys. These are no soldiers.  
  
Gimli: Most have seen too many winters.  
  
Legolas: Or too few.

Keikæ: Look at them. They're frightened.

Legolas seemed to have gotten used to me saying other's thoughts.

Legolas: You can see it in their eyes.

The men around us fell silent. Legolas spoke to Aragorn.

::Ooooooooooooohnonononononononono.::

I covered my face with a hand. Gimli, took this as an indication that something was going to happen and fell silent.

Legolas: Boe a hûn: neled herain dan caer menig! [And they should be... Three hundred against ten thousand!]  
  
::Ooooooohnononononononononooooooo.::

Aragorn: Si beriathar hýn. Amar nâ ned Edoras. [They have more hope of defending themselves here than at Edoras.]  
  
Legolas: Aragorn, men i ndagor. Hýn ú-... ortheri. Natha daged aen! [Aragorn, we are warriors. They cannot win this fight. They are all going to die!]

::That was not the right thing to say. Ohnonononononononononononono. Don'tsayitdon'tsayit. Crap.::  
  
Aragorn: Then I shall die as one them!

::Shit. He said it. You were MEANT to say that in elvish.::

Keikæ: to Aragorn In future, think before you open your oversized Gondorian mouth, please?

::Is he Gondorian? I thought he had numenorean blood? Hang on – he's one of the Dunedain. Ah! Books are to confusing!::

He walked away. Legolas made to after him, but Gimli stopped him.

Gimli: Let him go, lad. Let him be.

Keikæ: Scheisse.

Gimli gave me a confused look.

Keikæ: Dritt, Shit, crap, whatever you want to call it, capish?

With nowhere else to go, I followed Aragorn, to the armoury. Villagers were handed their weapons. An oversized helmet was placed on a wide-eyed boy. Another stared at the axe that he was handed with frightened eyes. Another child wearing oversized chain mail takes up a huge shield. I saw Théoden stand inside the main hall of the keep, his back to the entrance where a bright white light is streaming through.  
  
Théoden: To whatever end... Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountains. Like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the west. Behind the hills, into shadow. How did it come to this?

::Because of ya damn pride.::

I found Aragorn is sitting on the steps.  
  
Keikæ: You wanted to speak to me?  
  
Aragorn: Yes. I wanted to say thank you.  
  
::Why the hell would he want to say that? What the hell have I ever done for him?::  
  
He answered the question himself.  
  
Aragorn: For what you did. I don't think anyone else would throw themselves off a cliff simply to grab my hand and stop me from falling.  
  
::I was not expecting that.::  
  
Keikæ: Simply?  
  
::What does he mean, simply? I ONLY tried to stop the future king of Gondor from falling off a cliff. In doing so, I could have killed him.::  
  
Keikæ: Actually, I was just being plain stupid. Something I do quite a lot. Long and awkward silence. I get a feeling, that last line you said was meant to be in a different lingo.  
  
Aragorn: Yes.  
  
Keikæ: He'll come back. He'll apologise. Trust me.  
  
Aragorn: I don't know who to trust... Another long and awkward silence. Keikæ?  
  
Keikæ: Aye?  
  
Aragorn: Your voice. It's changed, though it's no accent I've ever heard before.  
  
Keikæ: Eh?! Oh! Yeah, this is my real voice. Sure, I spend half my life doing impressions of other people, and you've only heard my Jack Sparrow impression, but yes this is my real voice, if that makes any sense whatsoever which it probably doesn't....  
  
Aragorn: I believe you've lost something.  
  
At my confused look, he showed me Bex' hat and jammed it on my head, so it covered my eyes. He laughed.  
  
Keikæ: Thanks.  
  
He then took notice of a young lad in armour holding a sword looking around nervously.  
  
Aragorn: Give me your sword. What is your name?  
  
Haleth: Haleth, son of Háma, my lord. The men are saying that we will not live out the night. They say that it is hopeless..  
  
::Hang on, wasn't Háma the one that was the first to be killed by a warg?::

Aragorn gave the battered sword a few swings, turned and was blocked by me. We staged a very slow, short fight.  
  
Aragorn: This is a good sword, Haleth, son of Háma.  
  
He handed the sword back to Haleth and leant close to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. I stood behind them, like some statue, speaking Aragorn's mind.  
  
Keikæ: There is always hope.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Back at the armoury, Aragorn put on his battle gear. I reached to hand him his sword but was beaten to it by Legolas. He nodded and accepted the sword from Legolas.  
  
Legolas: We have trusted you this far. You have not led us astray. Forgive me. I was wrong to despair.  
  
Aragorn: Ú-moe edhored, Legolas. [There is nothing to forgive, Legolas.]  
  
They smile and clap one another on the shoulders. Aragorn looked over Legolas' shoulder at me. I winked. My attention then turned to Gimli as he walked up to them, struggling with his chain mail.  
  
Gimli: If we had more time I'd get this adjusted. He dropped the bundle and the chain mail landed with its length right to the floor. It's a little tight across the chest.  
  
It was difficult to not start laughing. So I grinned insanely instead. Aragorn and Legolas bit back smiles. Just then, a horn sounded in the background. I continued to grin.  
  
Keikæ: That is no Orc horn.  
  
We ran out to the battlements, passing guards looking down in wonderment.  
  
Bereg: to another guard Send for the king. Open the gate!  
  
Soldier: Open the gate!  
  
Yep. You've guessed it. An army of Lothlórien Elves marched up the Causeway into the Hornburg, led by Haldir. The Rohirrim soldiers looked upon them in wonderment and delight as they passed.  
  
::Hang on – that was the elf who I met at Lothlorien.::  
  
Théoden: How is this possible?  
  
Haldir: I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. An alliance once existed between Elves and men. Long ago we fought and died together. He looked up to see Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and I running down the steps, and smiled We come to honour that allegiance.  
  
Aragorn: He bows Mae govannen, Haldir. [Welcome, Haldir]  
  
He grabbed Haldir in a huge embrace. Initially stunned, Haldir hugged him back lightly.  
  
Aragorn: You are most welcome!  
  
I grinned. Again. Legolas and Haldir clasp each other on the shoulder. Haldir's gaze turned to me.

Keikæ: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before? Ah. Bad move. Wrong line. I noticed something the split second after I said it. Yes, I had threatened him before. Sure, it was in the middle of Lothlorien with a fruit knife, but I had threatened him nevertheless. I didn't know what his reaction would be.  
  
::O.o You and your big mouth, Keeks.::  
  
Short and awkward silence.  
  
Luckily for me, he smiled and took it as a joke.  
  
Haldir: It is good to see you, Keikæ. Again. Turning to Théoden We are proud to fight alongside men, once more.  
  
Good? Tha's one way of describing it.  
  
Legolas took his place behind Haldir. I strolled along the line. All of them looked exactly the same to me. Except one.  
  
Keikæ: Ilréthiel?  
  
Ilréthiel: Couldn't resist mate!  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
An even longer chapter! Blimey, this is turning into a habit! Yuh, I do have a thing about long/short awkward silences. Long, awkward silence Ok, well... you see that blue-purply colour kinda button? Yup, press it. A lil window will come up and you can tell me wot u think.  
  
ASSBB!!  
  
Kess ;P


	17. The War Begins

**A/N:** Yay! Finally back!!  
  
Jupiter's Light: Well I'm glad you like it.  
  
Marlene: wOoOoO long review... Nope. I don't want to be anything like them because you usually end up going downhill when you start acting like that. If that makes any sense.... Yep. I get you.... They'll grow up soon enough – when I split them up.... No. not sweet. Compliment. You're also veeeery good at answering back.... O ok. Not a flame, a 'constructive criticism', and yeah, it was helpful.... Dude, that sounds so cheesy.... point taken.... Yes, yes, and yes again... critics can only help. Though I didn't know that meant completely pissing them off.... Thank you again for your review, very long, very helpful.  
  
Anime no Megami: dude, you like? Ta, tha's just cheered me up.  
  
Crecy: mmm... well, here's your battle....  
  
kumarasgal23: Yeah, I know what you mean – I read about 12 stories at a time.... Add the Easter holidays to that and you get a veeeery confused Kess. Lol!  
  
Allasea2: very warped, very crazy, and DEFINATELY insane.... Lol  
  
Elvenstorm: Yay! I love freaking out Gandalf!! Eh? I'm going to have to go back and read me own stories... I've probably made some weird mistake.... No, your being hopeful. I have a policy NOT to split up those to – I no she stole Glorfindel's part in the films, but splitting them up is TOO cruel.  
  
Peeps, I'm getting LOADSA reviewers, which I love, but I don't always have time to answer them all, so I'm sorry if I don't answer to your review....

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 17 - The War Begins

I hate waiting. Unfortunately, that was exactly what I was doing. Men and Elves, in their positions on the battlements of Helm's Deep. The sounds of a marching army moving closer and closer. I could imagine the frightened women and children in the caves. Mothers drawing their children close. Scenes from the films that never really meant anything. Until now. We look out into the darkness, lit by the thousands of torches carried by the huge advancing Uruk-hai army and the light bouncing off their armour. I was positioned next to Ilréthiel, near to where Aragorn was, though not to far from Legolas and Gimli. Only the top of his helmet was visible.  
  
I could hear him grumbling. Gimli: You could have picked a better spot.  
  
Legolas smirked. I grinned. Aragorn approached and stood beside them.  
  
Gimli: Well lad, whatever luck you live by, let's hope it lasts the night.  
  
Thunder sounded and lightning flashed, revealing the sea of approaching Uruk-hai. I finally saw what we were up against. Keikæ: 10000 is quite a lot.

::Yuh. Highly useful comment, Keeks.::  
  
Ilréthiel: Definitely. Legolas: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.  
  
Gimli: Let's hope they last the night.  
  
The marching and thumping grew louder and louder. Lightning flashed and it began to rain. The sounds of water falling on metal echoed. I was soaked to the skin within two minutes, so I had no IDEA how the Uruks must be feeling after travelling however many miles to get here. Ilréthiel: Where's the leader? One stepped up onto a rock.  
  
Keikæ: That one. Juuuuuuust there.

::Bit obvious.::

Aragorn began to command the Elf warriors.  
  
Aragorn: A Eruchîn, ú-dano i faelas a hyn an uben tanatha le faelas! [Show them no mercy! For you shall receive none!]

Gimli: A translation would go appreciated.

Keikæ: That meant show them no mercy, For you shall receive none. And no, I don't speak Elvish.

Ilréthiel: remind me to ask you about that later. The Uruk-hai leader raised his swords and commanded his army to stop. Well, I say commanded. It was more like a terrifying animalic cry. The Uruks stopped and growled in anticipation of the upcoming battle and slaughter.

Keikæ: Wonderful. Absolutely bloody wonderful.  
  
Gimli: What's happening out there?  
  
I grinned, knowing what Legolas would say next.

Legolas: Shall I describe it to you? Looks at Gimli with a grin Or would you like me to find you a box?  
  
Gimli: Laughs good-naturedly Hehehehe!!

Keikæ: To myself Dude, I love that line!  
  
The Uruk Leader cried out once, encouraging the Uruk-hai to start roaring and thumping their spears furiously.

Keikæ: There goes the first shot.

Aldor, the old man next to Haleth, lost his grip and released his arrow prematurely, shooting an Uruk-hai in the neck.  
  
Aragorn: Dartho! [Hold!]  
  
The Uruk-hai army stopped their roaring and thumping. With a hollow groan, the Uruk that was shot collapsed to the ground, falling flat on it's face. The other Uruk-hai bared their teeth and roared with anger. ::Good shot!:: With a cry, the Uruk-hai leader thrust his weapon in the air and the Uruk- hai army started to charge.  
  
Keikæ: So it begins.  
  
Aragorn: Tangado halad! [Prepare to fire!]  
  
The Elves aimed.  
  
Keikæ: Faeg i-varv dîn na lanc a nu ranc. [Their armour is weak at the neck and beneath the arms.]  
  
Legolas turned to look at me. I grinned. Again.

Aragorn: Leithio i philinn! [Release the arrows!]  
  
Arrows rained down on the Uruk-hai below, killing many.  
  
Gimli: Did they hit anything?  
  
A voice shouted behind us.  
  
Gamling: to the men Fire!  
  
Man-with-missing-eye: Fire!  
  
More arrows from behind us were released. I was getting a bit nervous about that – I was hoping the arrows would be shot high enough to avoid killing anyone on the battlements. Many fell, but the Uruk-hai army kept advancing, with more replacing those fallen from behind.  
  
Aragorn: Fire!  
  
Gimli: Impatiently Send them to me! C'mon!  
  
The Uruk-hai started to load ladders onto the walls, pushing them up with their long spears.  
  
Aragorn: Pendraid! [Ladders!]  
  
The Elves drew their blades in preparation for combat.  
  
Aragorn: Swords! Swords!

I too, drew my sword. I was not looking forward to this bit.  
  
Gimli: Good!  
  
Close combat began as the Uruk-hai clambered over the wall.  
  
Gimli: Legolas, two already! Holding up two fingers  
  
Despite I knew what entertaining lines were coming, I tried to concentrate on killing those climbing over the wall. Not exactly easy when you wait through practically the whole film quoting every single line. Legolas: I'm on seventeen!  
  
Gimli: Outraged Argh! I'll have no pointy-ear outscoring me! He turned to a Uruk just climbing over the wall, whacking hard with his axe and killing it as it fell.  
  
Legolas: Fires two arrows Nineteen! Gimli stood on the wall between two ladders, hacking away at Uruk-hai as they came up.  
  
Gimli: Seventeen! Eighteen! Nineteen! Twenty! Twenty-one! Twenty-two!  
  
I turned to look at the Causeway. A group of Uruk-hai advanced on the Causeway towards the gate in tortoise formation, using their broad shields to block off attacks.  
  
Keikæ: Aragorn! The causeway!

Aragorn: Na fennas! [Causeway!]

::These elves are very obedient, aren't they?::

The Elves aimed at the Uruk-hai column and fired. The Uruk-hai at the sides were shot and fell down the Causeway. But the column kept advancing.

::This is the bit where they blow the wall.::  
  
Keikæ: Aragorn! They're going to blow the wall!

I couldn't be bothered to wait for an answer. I began to make my way along, towards where the wall would be breached. Théoden: Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?

::Oh no. I remember that line. That is a BAD line.::

At the bottom of the Deeping Wall, two spiky bombs were lodged in the sluice gate. I ran faster. The rest opened a path and an Uruk-hai carrying a torch started to run towards the sluice gate. Aragorn spotted the Uruk- hai.  
  
Aragorn: Togo hon dad, Legolas! [Bring him down, Legolas!] Legolas shot the Uruk-hai in the shoulder but the latter kept going Dago hon! Dago hon! [Kill him! Kill him!]  
  
Legolas shot the Uruk again. It stumbled. I threw myself off the battlements to land right in front of him. Yes, a very stupid thing to do, I'm sure. Not bothering to even draw my sword, I punched my in the face. Really hard. Unfortunately for me and my poor hand, he had a helmet on. Still, it had a big dent in the middle and he was currently lying on the floor.  
  
::I think I killed him.::  
  
At that point, I drew my sword, grabbed the torch that was at my feet, and swung it, wildly. I made my way to a ladder, and climbed it very rapidly, to be help over the wall by Ilréthiel, who seemed to have been waiting.  
  
Ilréthiel: Don't you EVER do that-  
  
At that moment, an enormous explosion set off, blowing away a large part of the wall, cutting off Ilréthiel. Rock, debris and bodies were thrown up. I was knocked back by the force of the explosion, as was Aragorn. I must have been stupid. I'd killed the Uruk and not bothered to extinguish the sparkler-thing.  
  
::Nice one, Keeks.::  
  
Théoden looked on in shock as the Uruk-hai streamed in past the Deeping Walls. I jumped to my feet, knowing that staying where I was, was a very stupid place to be, that the ground is not always comfortable, and that one does not simply take a kip in the middle of a war, as tempted as I was to do so.  
  
Keikæ: Stop blowing 'oles in the wall!  
  
::Brilliant. ABsoLUTEly BLOODY FANTASTIC. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE IT YOU STUPID GITS!! All that. I've just crushed half my hand for bloody NOTHING.::  
  
Yes, I was very angry. I had a feeling that if I said this, most people would probably be veeeery frightened of me by the end of the day.

Théoden: Brace the Gate! Hold them! Stand firm!  
  
Gimli caught sight of the Uruk-hai charging in with Aragorn in their path. With a cry, he jumped down from the wall and landed on the Uruk-hai army, taking them out as he stood.  
  
Gimli: Aragorn!! Argh!  
  
He was soon overpowered. Aragorn got up and saw Gimli falling.  
  
Aragorn: Gimli! He yelled to the Elves behind him Hado i philinn! [Hurl the arrows!]  
  
The arrows took out the first group of Uruk-hai coming through the hole in the wall.  
  
Aragorn: Herio! [Charge!]  
  
Aragorn led the Elves in a charge towards the Uruk-hai streaming in. We were fighting a losing battle. He rushed to Gimli's side and picked him up. At the top of the battlements, Legolas grabbed a shield and sent it sliding across the ground. He then hopped onto it and surfs down the steps, releasing three arrows as he went, and kicking the shield to stab an Uruk- hai as he landed at the bottom.

::Cool trick.::

Gamling: Aragorn! Fall back to the Keep! Get your men out of there!  
  
Aragorn: Na Barad! Na Baraad! Haldir, na Barad! [To the Keep! Pull back to the Keep! Haldir, to the Keep!]  
  
Haldir nodded and turned back. Gimli's being carried away, kicking and struggling as he went.  
  
Gimli: Protesting What are you doing? Argh! What are you stopping for!  
  
::I have to get to Haldir.::

He hacked at a few Uruk as he turned towards the gate, before he was stabbed in the arm.

::Still time. There's still time.::

I could see an Uruk coming up behind him, weapon raised.

::Shit! Run Keeks run you stupid idiot!::

With a grimace, he killed the Uruk-hai and looked down as his wound in seeming disbelief. I pushed him out of the way, and turned to block the Uruk. However, after putting your fist through solid metal a few minutes beforehand, my hand was still throbbing, so I couldn't exactly control what my it did. The Uruk's sword missed my face and slid off my sword, instead cut quite a gash at the base of my neck. He swung the sword again, this time only cutting my cheek, before I stabbed him. No, not particularly nice.

::Ow! Bugger – That's going to leave one heck of a scar.::

I half-dragged Haldir up the stairs. Not exactly easy in the middle of a war.  
  
Ilréthiel: HALDIR!! He ran up the steps. He then jumped onto a ladder and swung down to the ground, killing as he went.  
  
Gamling: Brace the gate!  
  
Soldier: Hold them!  
  
Théoden: Drawing his sword To the gate! Draw your swords!  
  
Théoden and his commanders came to the gate, which was under heavy attack. I fell back, with Haldir who still seemed to be shocked, instead of joining them.

Keikæ: Haldir. Haldir! Are you ok?

::What d'ye think, Keeks? He's just been stabbed and would be dead by now, if you hadn't changed the course of the film!::

He nodded, before looking at me. Probably noticing why I was holding my sword in my left hand, he returned the question, though I think the real answer was completely obvious. Keikæ: Never better. I then ran to the gates. The Uruk-hai were knocking down the gate and hacking through the broken wood. Théoden stabbed at an Uruk-hai and received a lance in his shoulder, blocked by his armour. Grimacing in pain, Théoden continues to stab at the Uruk until led away by Gamling.  
  
Gamling: Make way! We cannot hold much longer.  
  
Théoden: Hold them!  
  
Aragorn ran up and stabbed away at the Uruk-hai through the broken gate.

Aragorn: How long do you need?  
  
Gamling: Brace the gate!  
  
Théoden: As long as you can give me!  
  
Aragorn: Gimli! Keikæ!  
  
Théoden: Timbers! Brace the Gate!  
  
We slipped out a side exit and stood on a ledge just to the side of the main gate. Aragorn peered over, seeing the large band of Uruk-hai storming the gate.  
  
Gimli: Come on! We can take 'em!  
  
Keikæ: It's a long way.  
  
Gimli took a peek and then stepped back.  
  
Gimli: Mumbles Toss me.  
  
Aragorn: What?  
  
::Dude – you should see the look on your face.::

Gimli: I cannot jump the distance! You'll have to toss me!  
  
Aragorn nodded slowly and then turned to grab the Dwarf.  
  
Gimli: Oh! Gimli stays Aragorn's hand Don't tell the Elf. And you, Keikæ.  
  
We replied in unison: "Not a word."  
  
He tossed Gimli to the head of the Causeway and then leaps over himself, closely followed by me. I was, once again, holding my sword in my left hand.  
  
Gimli: ARGH!!  
  
(A/N Yeah, I know that's not in the script. Couldn't resist, mate.) I could hear Théoden shouting orders on the other side of the gate.  
  
Théoden: Shore up the door!  
  
Soldier 1: Make way!  
  
Soldier 2: Follow me to the barricade.  
  
Soldier 3: Watch our backs!  
  
Soldier 4: Throw another one over here!  
  
Théoden: Higher!  
  
They were bracing the gate with wood and nails. We continued to fight off the Uruk-hai just outside, scything left and right. Soldier: Hold fast the gate!  
  
Théoden: Through a crack in the gate Gimli! Aragorn! Keikæ! Get out of there!  
  
Legolas called to us from the top of the battlements.  
  
Legolas: Aragorn! He threw us a rope.

I didn't need it, and scrambled up the side of the wall (very difficult, one handed) as Aragorn grabbed Gimli in one hand and the rope with the other, allowing himself to be pulled up the wall. I paused for a moment to see more Uruk-hai loading and firing enormous hooks over the battlements. Hundreds of Uruk-hai climbed onto ladders as they are pulled up towards the walls, the ladders locking onto the edge of the battlements with their steel grips. Legolas took aim as one ladder was being pulled up and shot away one of the ropes. The ladder fell back onto the Uruk-hai army.

::Cool.::  
  
Théoden: Pull everybody back! Pull them back!  
  
Gamling: Fall back! Fall back!  
  
Théoden: They've broken through! The castle is breached. Retreat!  
  
Gamling: Fall back!  
  
Théoden: Retreat!  
  
Aragorn: Hurry! Inside! Get them inside!  
  
Gamling: Into the Keep!  
  
::Too confusing.::

They all ran towards the keep, Legolas firing two arrows into the Uruk-hai army as he went. I looked around in confusion, trying to figure out where everyone was running to, despite it was obvious. I felt a hand grab me by the collar, setting me in the right direction. Noticing it was Ilréthiel, I followed his unsaid advice.  
  
Banners of the White Hand were seen flying from the battlements of Helm's Deep. The Hornburg was overrun with Uruk-hai. I know what was going to happen but this wasn't the film. I couldn't help worrying that this was to be the end. Théoden and company were in the hall of the keep. I felt a pain shoot through my shoulder again.  
  
God, when will it stop hurting.  
  
Ilréthiel: Keikæ? Are you all right?  
  
He wiped blood off my cheek.  
  
Keikæ: Yuh. Just fine. Never better.  
  
Ilréthiel: I know you too well to accept that as an answer.  
  
He took a quick look at my very-bruised knuckles. He then pulled my leather jacket that I was still wearing, off my shoulder, to see my once- white polo neck slashed, and the not-too-nice hole the Uruk had made. I couldn't see it, but by the expression on his face, I could tell that it looked pretty bad.  
  
Ilréthiel: You are staying here. Théoden: The fortress is taken. It is over.  
  
Aragorn: Carrying a table with Legolas to shore up the door of the hall You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it! They still defend it! They have died defending it! Is there no other way for the women and children to get out of the caves? There is no answer. Is there no other way?  
  
Keikæ: There is one passage. It leads into the mountains.

Gamling: But they will not get far. The Uruk-hai are too many.  
  
Aragorn: Send word for the women and children to make for the mountain pass. And barricade the entrance.  
  
Théoden: So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?  
  
Aragorn: Pause Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them.  
  
Théoden put his hand on Aragorn's shoulder, who looked ready to murder everyone this side of Mordor.

Théoden: A light of determination shone in his eyes For death and glory.  
  
Aragorn: For Rohan. For your people.  
  
Keikæ: Look to the coming at first light of the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east. Gimli: The sun is rising.  
  
Aragorn looked up at a window to see faint light streaming through and remembered who had first said the words I had repeated.  
  
Théoden: Yes. Yes! The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep one last time!  
  
Gimli: Yes!

::He's definitely happy about that.::

Gimli ran up the steps to the horn of Helm Hammerhand.  
  
::Dude – I've never seen a dwarf move so fast.::

Théoden: Let this be the hour when we draw swords together. Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath! Now for ruin! And a red dawn!  
  
He mounted his horse and put on his helmet. The sound of the horn rumbled through Helm's Deep as Gimli blew with gusto.  
  
Théoden: FORTH EORLINGAS!!  
  
::Froth... what?::

Théoden led the charge out of the keep into the Hornburg, slashing away at the Uruk-hai. I too, stabbed at them, Ilréthiel at my side and Haldir in front of me. Without pause, we stormed out of the gate and down the Causeway, right into the column of waiting Uruk-hai. In the midst of battle, I looked east and saw a white rider against the rising sun.  
  
Aragorn: Gandalf.  
  
Gandalf: Théoden king stands alone.  
  
Two more riders came up behind him, silhouetted by the near-rising sun. The first one, I recognised as Éomer. The second I knew instantly from the moment I saw her.

Ilréthiel: Laila!

Éomer: Not alone. He raised a hand Rohirrim!!  
  
Riders moved up behind Éomer.  
  
Théoden: Looking to the east Éomer!  
  
Éomer: To the king!  
  
The Rohirrim, Laila and the White Rider charged down the slope. Half the depleted Uruk-hai army turned to face the challenge, bearing their spears down towards the riders. As the attackers drew closer, the sun rose behind them, momentarily blinding the Uruk-hai who raised their hands (and spears) to shield their eyes. The riders crashed right into the Uruk-hai and engaged them in battle. We met somewhere in the middle, and joined as one column to attack Saruman's shrinking army. We then rode to the top of the slope, looking towards the Mountain of Fire in the distance.  
  
Théoden: Victory! We have victory!  
  
He raised his sword with a victorious cry.  
  
::I think he enjoys his job a little too much.::  
  
I met Laila's gaze, and we both grinned, knowing that the real thing, despite being 100 times scarier than the film, was an infinitive number better.  
  
Gandalf: Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift. The battle for Helm's Deep is over.  
  
::This is the one line Laila knows.::  
  
Laila&Keikæ: The battle for Middle-earth is about to begin.  
  
We grinned in a Jack-Sparrowesque manner. Gandalf smiled and continued.  
  
Gandalf: All our hopes now lie with two little hobbits. Somewhere in the wilderness.

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**A/N**: Yeah, very long. They seem to be getting longer each time... Soz, but the nxt chappie won't be out for a while – I had major writer's block on it, and now my computer automatically deleted it. 14 pages of work, deleted. Anywho. Tell me what you think by clicking on that li'l button there, okeydokes?

ASSBB!!

Kess ;P


	18. Encounter with an Elf

A/N: Ok. I am really really really really sorry this is so late. I had like BIG Writer's Block and had no idea what to write. So, this chapter may seem a bit odd. Sorry!

O yeah, I'm also sorry if this chapter seems a bit weird – I've got a bet with Leah (friend) to not drink coffee for a week... As many of you probably know, Me deprived of coffee for a day can be disastrous....

Elvenstorm: Well, you've been nagging me to write the next chapter, so I hope this meets your standards lol. Hehe. You rock.

Allasea2: Aw that sucks – hope your allowed on by now. Sorry it's been such a long wait. bobette: Yup. Long story.... Let's just say we (friends and I) were all drinking coffee... and it all got a bit out of hand.... DUDE! Thankies!

Kumarasgal23: Nope. Completely wiped out of the system. So I restarted writing it. Although I do think the original was better.

Crecy: Thanks!

DragonZero: Thanks!!

Anon: Are you Jane?

Thank you to all my lovely reviewers – sweets/candy/whatever-you-want-to- call-them to you all... except Crecy, who gets popcorn... On top of all I've said so far, I'd like to say that I may not respond to all my reviewers because I'm getting a lot of them now.

P.S I do intend to continue ALL of my stories, unless I say otherwise.

P.P.S Because of recent changes in ff.net, thoughts are now in :: blahdeblahdeblah ::

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Chapter 19 - Encounter with an Elf

They ran. Every one. Shows they're definitely more cowardly than they're made out to be. Then, I think I would run if 200 or however many soldiers on horseback there are were following me. We chased the remaining Uruk-Hai towards a forest that looked very much like Fangorn, though I knew it had DEFINITELY not been there the previous night. Éomer rode in front of his men.

Éomer: Stay out of the forest! Keep away from the trees!

The moment the last orc disappeared into forest, the trees started to move and shake and the Orcs could be heard screaming for their lives. Not a single one escaped his fate. If it hadn't been for the previous events and the fact that this was real, I would have laughed. We made our way back up to the castle to many relieved faces. Women and children welcomed the men as they returned. Éowyn ran up to Aragorn and embraced him, crying. I edged away, hoping to find Laila, and found her I did. Though, not where I expected her to be. On the lap of a certain someone doing... I won't say what. I moved silently on, and soon encountered Legolas and Gimli, who was currently sitting on a dead orc smoking his pipe. Legolas looked at his bow, for what reason I have no idea, but hey.

Legolas: Final count.... 42.  
  
Gimli: amused Forty-two? Oh, that's not bad for a pointy-eared Elvish princeling. I myself am sitting pretty on 43.

At that, Legolas shot the orc Gimli was sitting on. He then stood as he had before, looking preeeeety pleased with himself.

Legolas: Forty-three.

Gimli: He was already dead.

Legolas: He was twitching.

Gimli: He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system!

Gimli moved his axe, causing the dead Uruk-hai body to move as well.

Gimli: Ah. Keikæ.

Keikæ: Ah. Gimli.

Legolas: So how many did you get?

Keikæ: 45.

This was, of course, a lie, but I didn't want to find out what they would say if I revealed the real figure of 53.

Keikæ: Excluding the suicide bomber. pause By the way, I did see a couple crawling around back there, but couldn't be bothered to kill them.

I pointed to where I had just come from... yes I know I'm cruel. Yes, I know I can be a complete bitch, but hey. They were probably finished by now. And both elf and dwarf were off quicker than you can say 'Lembas'. Anyway, just in case, I slipped away quietly. I wandered around, hoping not to bump into Laila. Hoping. But then, sod's law always works for me, so of course, I ran into her. And ran away from her. And instead, crashed into Ilréthiel. That's a bad thing. Laila was obviously livid, though elf-boy didn't seem to have worked it out.

Ilréthiel: Wo, Keikæ, what's the rush?

Keikæ: Er... person downstairs message up gotago soz, see ya.  
  
::1st prize excuse, Keeks.::  
  
Ilréthiel: Rubbish.  
  
Keikæ: You are the only elf I know that would come up with such an answer.  
  
Ilréthiel: Really?  
  
I noticed Laila had disappeared. Thank God. Or the Valar. Or whoever happened to be in charge around here. I had only really been time wasting. One man came pushing through the crowd, knocking me on the shoulder and continuing on his way. I flinched as he hit me.  
  
Ilréthiel: Keeks?  
  
I quickly hid whatever expression had been on my face and stood up strait.  
  
Keikæ: I'm fine.  
  
Ilréthiel: Obviously not, c'mon.  
  
He led me through the crowd and up some steps. He seemed to have picked up 'twenny first centry lingo' quite quickly. We went through a door... another door... another door... another door... steps... another door... I eventually lost count, but I felt really confused and disorientated. Still, we eventually got to... er... the place we were going to....  
  
It was quite a small room, with a few windows looking out at various views of Rohan and Helm's deep. It was empty save for a small table and a bench. He led me over and I sat down. Before either of us could say a word, someone called his name, and he left quickly.  
  
Oh, great. How did I end up here?  
  
I felt tired and leaned against the wall. Before I could figure out the answer to this question I heard a soft knock at the door. It wasn't really my door, or room, so there was really no point in me answering.  
  
You should still see who it s, Keeks.  
  
I dragged myself off the bench and went to open the door. Haldir walked in. I was quite surprised at this – he was the last person on earth I would've expected to walk through that door. Still.  
  
Keikæ: Erm... yeah?  
  
I noticed he had a bandage on his upper arm, presumably where he had been stabbed.  
  
Keikæ: Er... hi. Would you like to come in?  
  
I closed the door behind me ad sat down.  
  
Haldir: Keikæ, I'd like to thank you.  
  
Keikæ: Thank me? What or?  
  
Haldir: For saving my life on the deeping wall.  
  
I wasn't quite sure what to make of this.  
  
Haldir: For 'saving my ass' as you would put it.  
  
Keikæ: Oh. I it me, or is it 'thank you for saving my life' week.  
  
He sounded a little confused at this, so I carried on.  
  
Keikæ: Just consider it a favour.  
  
I flinched as pain shot through my shoulder.  
  
Haldir: Keikæ?  
  
Keikæ: It's nothing. Just nothing.  
  
He gave me that look Ilréthiel had given me, showing clearly that he didn't believe me. His eyes travelled from my crushed hand to my bleeding shoulder. With out another word, he looked at my hand.  
  
Haldir: Stay here. I'll be right back.  
  
Yeah... Like there's anywhere to go.  
  
I felt hot so I draped my well-used long leather jacket over one end of the bench, and took off my once-white polo neck. He was obviously true to his word. 2 minutes later he was back, apologising for being so 'long'. He had bought back some cloths and a jug of water. I could see what was coming and wasn't looking forward to it.  
  
He looked at my hand first, realising it causing me more pain than my shoulder, surprisingly. I flinched as he touched it, but let hi go on. Some thing had to be done about it. Five minutes later I was wrapped in linen and no longer hurt.  
  
Keikæ: Ta.  
  
I made to leave, but was stopped, by the same elf asking if my shoulder was alright. I knew there was absolutely no point in lying, so I sat back down. I hissed in pain as he rested his hand against my shoulder. I was determined to keep silent – all this time I'd gained a reputation – but couldn't hold in a gasp as he cleaned it with a wet cloth. When he'd finished, he pulled back my hair to see properly. I quickly pulled it back down across my face, but not quick enough. Haldir grabbed my wrist.  
  
Haldir: What's this?  
  
Bloody Elvish eyesight!  
  
Keikæ: Nothing. Oh, ok.  
  
I realised he'd seen the scar on the back of my neck, and I resigned myself to telling him about how I'd set a car alight and gotten away with it. The only reason I remembered that particular crime was the scar left by a burn on the back of my neck.  
  
Haldir: You've been through a lot Keikæ.  
  
Keikæ: Please call me Keeks.  
  
He nodded slightly.  
  
Haldir: You want to talk about it?  
  
Keikæ: Not really. Oh fine. It's just ... I don't know. Laila and Bex are so...so...  
  
Haldir: Good?  
  
I'd dropped the pirate act by now, what was the point? Laila and Bex weren't here to see me.  
  
Keikæ: No. It seems they're completely oblivious to life. As if it's all a game. And it was. It was at one point. It was fun for a bunch of bored teenagers. Which we were at the time. But, it turned into more than that. It became routine... a job like. They don't stop to think: I don't think we should've done that. I mean, I too, used to do it for kicks, but everything, everything has turned to a game. A joke. That's all life is to them. One big game, where you can't go back, where you have to play.  
  
But now, I'm always running, always hiding. Never able o stand and fight; always at war with someone else. I mean, don't get me wrong, but Laila and Bex. They're great, the best friends anyone could wish for. Never any arguments. Just perfect. But they don't get the seriousness of life. They catch you when you fall, but never seem to be there when you need them most. And... and I feel so alone, even when they are thee. And I can't do a thing about it. Nothing.  
  
Haldir: You're not alone.  
  
Keikæ: Eh?  
  
Haldir: You're not alone.  
  
Keikæ: But...  
  
I was cut off by his lips on mine, just for a second.  
  
Haldir: You're not alone, Keikæ.  
  
Keikæ: Haldir, you've been great t me. But this can't happen.  
  
He looked utterly confused.  
  
Haldir: But why not.?  
  
Keikæ: Firstly, you are an elf. Secondly-  
  
I heard footsteps climbing the stairs, and pulled away as Ilréthiel opened the door, apologising.  
  
Keikæ: Godammit! Can't a girl ever have some piracy – I mean privacy.  
  
The elf opened his mouth to say something, then noticed Haldir.  
  
Ilréthiel: Ummm, sorry, was I interrupting something?  
  
Keikæ: Yes. No. Well, kind of.  
  
Ilréthiel: Do you want me to go?  
  
I was quite happy with someone else there and didn't want the conversation to continue, so replied it was fine. I'd have to thank Ilréthiel later – he had just gotten me out of a tight spot.  
  
The ride to Isengaurd wasn't exactly a long. Compared. And extremely uneventful. Again, compared to the other journeys I'd made galloping around the Middle Earth countryside. So. With few conversations and very little to do, by the time we got to Isenguard, Laila and I were bored as anything. It seemed our small crew of Helm's Deep survivors were too. The Rohan refugees had returned to Edoras – I knew it wouldn't be the last time we saw them. It was quite a relief when we finally sighed – and heard - two small figures sitting on a broken wall.  
  
Pippin: I feel like I'm back at the Green Dragon after a hard day's work.  
  
Merry: Only, you've never done a hard day's work.  
  
Both of them laughed. They sounded completely pissed. Both were smoking.  
  
Merry: Welcome, my Lords, to Isenguard!  
  
I turned to Haldir.  
  
Keikæ: Is it me, or am I suddenly a lord?  
  
He smiled. Not much had been said between us since Helm's Deep.  
  
Gimli: You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you, feasting and... smoking!  
  
Keikæ: What's wrong with feasting and smoking?  
  
Pippin: Exactly my point. We are sitting on a field of victory, enjoying a few well-earned comforts. The salted pork is particularly good.  
  
Gimli: Salted pork?  
  
Gandalf shook his head in disgust.  
  
Gandalf: Hobbits.  
  
Merry: We're under orders, from Treebeard, who's taken over management of Isenguard.

I noticed a jacket. A certain tan fake-leather jacket. There was only one person in Middle Earth who owned something like that. Laila seemed to be reading my mind.

Keikæ & Laila: Bex!!

She appeared behind the wall, jumped over, standing in a small clearing.

We both dismounted faster than you would've thought possible, jumping on top of her.

Bex: Woah! WOAH!! Cool it, dudes.

Laila: Yuh, whatever – we're cool. Right now, I haven't seen you for like AGES....

Conversation continued, though I felt sort of, out of place. As if something had changed between us as friends. I think it was more me than them. Still, we sat down and the two little trouble makers decided to join us.

Pippin: Rebecca told us about the many illegal things you've done, hasn't she Merry?

::Aw... Rebecca... How cute. Looks like they've finally found out her real name.::

Merry acted as if he were my schoolteacher or something.

Merry: Yes. We're very disappointed in you, Keikæ Sparrow.

I took on the role of Jack and played along.

Keikæ: Captain, Captain Keikæ Sparrow!

At this point I dropped the Jack Sparrow accent.

Keikæ: And anyway, it wasn't just me!

They, except L:aila, who seemed deep in thought.

Bex: Hello Laila? Earth-

Keikæ: Middle.

Bex: Middle Earth to Laila? Are you awake, or have you learnt to sleep Elvish style?

Keikæ: Ah. No. I think she's very much awake.

Merry: Shall we find out? Laila suddenly moved when she heard this, scrambling up the nearest tree to avoid being tickled.

Pippin: That's unfair! I can't reach the bottom branch!

Laila stuck her tongue out.

Keikæ: I think that's the point.

Merry: I can. See, I told you I was the tall one.

Laila: I didn't know hobbits could be tall!

We debated on this matter for quite a while, ignoring Gandalf and the rest of the world. After a while, Laila became fed up of being up a tree. We later found that as good as she was climbing up, she simply can't climb down.

Laila: It must be genetic. There fore it is not my fault.

Bex: Who's going to get her? All eyes turned to me.

Keikæ: What are you looking at me for... get Ilréthiel to do it!

Bex had obviously had a talk with the hobbits beforehand, because as I called him over, they instantly jumped on him, keeping him pinned to the ground. Bex: Go fetch, Keeks!! I sighed, muttering "Whatever..." And launched my self up the tree. First branch was easy. On the second I ended up half running up the tree before I could grab it. Why did she have to climb to the top? I hauled myself up and continued climbing. I wasn't really that far off the ground, although I did get a great view over the broken wall at Isenguard. It took three jumping attempts to reach the last (well it would be the last for me) branch where I could get to Laila. She had stuck herself to the tree trunk, refusing to move. It was a well-known fact in our household that she absolutely HATED heights. I was beginning to wonder how she got up here in the first place.

::You threatened her, remember?::

I prized her hands off the wood, so she latched onto my arm instead. If I wobbled, she'd fall and we'd both go down. I'd gotten her away from the trunk, though she refused to move at all.

Keikæ: Ok. Laila, if you don't let go of my arm, we can't climb down. If we can't climb down, we're not going anywhere and will die up here. Well, I guess you'll get a good view. But still, look down and you'll see Elf-boy being beaten up by two hobbits. Only you can save him. So. Either You stay up here and you both die, or you come down and live happily ever after. What say ye? She squeaked and stayed exactly where she was. I'll take that as a no.

Eventually, Bex ended up asking for help from Treebeard. He came striding over and I threatened to tickle Laila if she didn't move. It worked. Well, almost. She moved, but in the wrong direction. Back to square one. I ended up poking her, and she jumped, neatly landing on the ent. I was beginning to feel sorry for him. I clambered down and was met by Bex jumping on top of me.

Keikæ: OW!! What was that for?!

Bex: I haven't said hello yet.

Keikæ: O god.

Bex: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keikæ: Hello Bex. How are you?

Random conversation followed, finally interrupted by a squeak. I looked down and pulled Merry and Pippin to their feet. A very muddy Ilréthiel jumped to his feet.

Bex: No harm done, then? He smiled. After the tree incident, we prepared to leave, despite we weren't goign for a few hours. Laila and I first decided to see how Saruman was doing. We rode over to the bottom of the tower on horses, shouting up at him.

Keikæ: Hey! How ya doin' Saruman?

Laila: Wow. You must get a great view up there.

Keikæ: Yeah, what's it like? Sorry, I didn't hear that.

Laila: Sorry, what was that? O you'd like a guided tour of Isenguard? We can arrange that. Please, no eating no drinking and no flash photography... Have a nice ride!

Keikæ: To the left, you have East Isenguard, flooded of course.

Laila: To the right, you have West Isenguard... Flooded, of course.

Keikæ: In front of you, you have north Isenguard, no longer flooded and under construction due to a recent collapse.

Laila: And behind you, you have the rest of Isenguard, otherwise known as your back yard.

::That was... different.::

Keikæ: Have a nice day! We rode off, leaving an angry though slightly confused Ex-white wizard behind us. We – literally – ran into Gandalf on the way back. Well, Gandalf, Theoden, Merry, Pippin, Bex, Elf-boy and many other people besides. I had somehow managed to knock Bex and Pippin off their horses.

Keikæ: WOAH!! Um... sorry... you ok? Pippin?

I caught sight of an orange glow in the water. Pippin seemed to have seen it too.

::The palantír.::

He waded through the water and picked it up, eyeing it curiously.  
  
Aragorn: Pippin!  
  
Treebeard: Bless my bark!  
  
Gandalf: Peregrin Took! I'll take that, my lad. Quickly now.  
  
Pippin handed the palantír to Gandalf, who quickly wrapped it in his robe. He rode away without another word. Most of the others left, excluding Bex and Pippin (Who were still in the water), Elf-boy #1 and Elf-boy #2 (#2 is Haldir), Laila, Merry and Myself. Pippin made a really stupid comment and we all laughed. Merry and Pippin tried to attack Ilréthiel, to be held back by Laila, and Haldir seemed to be in his own world. Weird that. I leaned over to help Pippin, Bex and Merry (who had jumped down to join them) up, to be pulled down and pinned down. Underwater. I surfaced 5 minutes later, rolling over Merry. We trudged back to dry land, sodden wet. I could hear my trainers squelching. The next time I looked up, the hobbits, Bex and Ilréthiel had gone off to God-knows-where, and I was left with Haldir and Laila.

Laila: Well, that was different. Keikæ: You could say that. I hope Saruman enjoyed his guided tour of Isenguard.

Haldir: Why would Saruman need a guided tour of Isenguard?

Laila: Erm...

Keikæ: He doesn't. But he got it whether he liked it or not.

I could see 'Riiiiiiiiiiiight' written all over their faces. Don't blame them, really. I was happy when everyone (Everyone being Laila, Haldir and Bex) stopped staring at me to have a look at yet another fight match between Elf-Boy and the hobbits.

Keikæ: O Jesus. Laila: Who's going to sort them out? Let's vote on it. All those for Keikæ...

2 hands raised. Laila and Bex, of course. Haldir probably had no idea what we were on about.

Keikæ: Fine.

I dragged Merry and Pippin away from their victim. I was really beginning to feel sorry for him. Next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground from having my feet pulled out from beneath me.

Keikæ: Ow! What the crap was that for?!!

Ilréthiel: Couldn't resist, mate.

Keikæ: You're really pickin' up on this pirate lark, ain't ye?

Ilréthiel didn't answer. Instead, he pinned me to the ground, was handed some rope by Merry or Pippin (I couldn't tell which – I was laying on my front with my face in the ground) and tied my hands behind my back. I didn't struggle at first, until I noticed what he was doing.

Keikæ: Oi! Laila! A little help here?

I could hear laughing. Obviously they had planned all this. What was going to happen next, I had no idea, but I was tied up, and so had to play along. Next, my feet were tied, so I couldn't move at all.

Keikæ: What the Hell is going on?!

I found out soon enough. By the time they were finished, my hands were released, but my feet were tied to a branch.

Keikæ: Great. So here I am suspended from a tree upside down. So. What do you want?

Bex: The satisfaction of finally seeing you tied upside down to a tree.

Laila: Aw, c'mon Keeks. You've gotta admit – you've been lucky so far. This is the first practical joke of the year!

Keikæ: Yeah – I'll drink to that.

Bex: Er... no. We intend to leave you up there for a bit.

Keikæ: WHAT?!

Laila: You heard us. Now, we have a little business to attend to. C'ya round.

Keikæ: Oi! Laila! Bex!

By business, she probably meant more practical jokes. I reached up to see if I could undo the ropes, but then noticed it was elvish rope. I tried anyway, and found that the only way I would be able to get myself down, was to cut it. Laila had the lighter and Bex had the fruit knife. I had nothing on me – just a fiver and a penknife.

::Deeeeeer... Penknife?::

God, I must be a malteaser. I slid my hand in my back pocket immediately. It slipped through my hands and fell to the ground. I swore loudly. I looked around to see if there was anyone that would help me, and saw a small figure approaching. Pippin. It had to be.

Keikæ: Oi! Pips!!

His head snapped round and he finally caught sight of me a few feet above him.

Keikæ: Did Bex tell you about chocolate?

Pippin nodded.

Keikæ: Well, look. If you help me out, I'll give you loads of it... Like, absolutely TONS, yeah?

ippin: Yes! What would you like me do?

Keikæ: Right, look down. Now you see that blue thing? No, no, that's a stick. The blue thing, the little blue thing. Yeah, that! Now pass it up to me.

He tried several times. The disadvantages of being small finally came into play. Then, I don't think anyone would be able to reach, excluding elves. He next tried throwing it up to me. Now, I'm a very good catcher. Like, really good – even when hanging upside down, which must mean that Pippin is a bad thrower - very bad, as the thing didn't come within a foot of me.

Keikæ: O jeez, this ain't working.

I saw – rather than heard – another figure approaching. A tall figure. Definitely an elf, though Ilréthiel had taken part in playing the trick on me, so it couldn't be him. Which left 1 person. ::Thank God. Or the Valar or whatever.::

He looked quite amused.

Keikæ: Not funny.

Haldir: I didn't say it was.

Keikæ: That's the impression I got.

Haldir: Well you were wrong.

Keikæ: Oh. Ok. Could you please help get me down, then? Pippin can't reach.

Haldir lifted Pippin, who passed me the penknife.

::Eureka.::

The stood back as I reached up and cut slowly through the rope. Pity really – it was quite nice rope. Only when the rope had been cut, I realised I would then all several feet to the ground. I landed heavily on my back and rolled over my shoulders to my knees.

Keikæ: Ow. Crap. Why do I never land on my feet?

Yet another amused look on Haldir's face.

Keikæ: Sorry – did you come here for a reason, or just to see me hanging upside down from a tree?

Haldir: Actually, I came looking for Pippin. But he's already gone off.

Keikæ: A little help wouldn't go amiss.

He took my hand and pulled me to my feet.

Keikæ: Thank you. For getting me out of that bloody tree aswel. First contact since Helm's Deep. Still trying to work out whether that's a good or bad thing. We walked back to camp, saying nothing, to prepare for the journey to Edoras.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A/N: Ok. That was a really long chapter, so I hope you're happy with it. D'ye think I went a bit far? Anywho, I'm thinking of making chapters 1 & 2 into 1 chapter, cos other wise, chapter 1 has nothing to do with the rest of the story – What do you think? I've got to go. C'ya round

ASSBB!!

Kess ;P


	19. The Truth

**A/N**: Sorry! It's been aaaaages since I last updated!! MAJOR Writer's Block, half asleep when I wrote it, so it may not completely make sense. Going to Cornwall surfing for a few days for my birthday from tomorrow, so won't be typing then. Sorry again! I don't intend to discontinue this story any time soon, so if there is another long gap between updating, it's only because I'm busy or am stuck. Sorry!!  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 19 - The Truth  
  
The ride from Isenguard to Edoras was pretty uneventful, unless you count the frequent practical jokes performed by Laila, Bex and Ilréthiel. I can safely say I had nothing to do with it. It was quite a relief when we got to Edoras.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Théoden: Tonight we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead!  
  
Crowd: Hail!  
  
Éowyn approached Aragorn with a cup.  
  
Éowyn: Westu Aragorn hál.  
  
She gave the cup to Aragorn, who drank some. He walked off with a nod.  
  
Théoden: I am happy for you. He is an honourable Man.  
  
Éowyn: You are both honourable Men.  
  
Théoden: It was not Théoden of Rohan who led our people to victory.  
  
Éowyn look at her uncle, not understanding. Théoden: Ah, don't listen to me. You are young, and tonight is for you.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
I think everyone got drunk that night. Either drunk or very tipsy. We (Laila, Bex and I) spent most of the evening drinking, singing, drinking, laughing, drinking, making idiots of ourselves and, well, drinking. Unfortunately the hobbits joined in with us on all of these, so you can imagine what the consequences were. Now I look back, I'm surprised anyone could understand me, as I was slurring my words more than jack.  
  
Pippin: I say we... play a game.  
  
Keikæ: Eh?! Wha' type o' game?  
  
Merry: A game from where you come from! Haldir:  
  
Keikæ: Er... k.  
  
Bex: How 'bout monopoly?  
  
::Where in Middle Earth did that come from?::  
  
Keikæ: Becky-dear, it would be one hundred times easier if we had a board and the monopoly money? Unless you just happened to carry one in you're back pocket.  
  
Laila: Well, fine. How 'bout... Strip poker!  
  
I nearly choked on my rum (yet another luxury produced from Bex' bag.)  
  
Keikæ: NO. NOT Strip poker. Poker, yeah, but NOT strip poker. 'Ang on – how 'bout Poker?  
  
Laila made an impression of a very pissed me when saying this:  
  
Laila: Keiki-dear, it would be one hundred times easier if you had something to bet with.... After all, wha's the point otherwise.  
  
Bex: We do have stuff to bet with.  
  
Keikæ: Mmm... talking of bets, I get the feeling it's way over a month since the beginnin' o' the New Year, so.  
  
I began taking off all the Jack Sparrow rubbish, starting with the bandana.  
  
Keikæ: I can get rid of that, that and that, take out these, you can have back that, and I can finally drop this bloody accent!  
  
I dumped the stuff in the middle of the table. Bex was staring at all of it.  
  
Keikæ: Bex? Caw-caw! Bex? Heeeeeeello?  
  
Bex: Tha's what we can bet on.  
  
::I gettit.::  
  
Laila: Alright, then. Anyone got a pack of cards?  
  
We finally got our hands on a pack of cards (with some help from Merry and Pippin). We agreed to bet on everything. I mean everything. Bex went first. She made the pile of pirate stuff into a small mound, with her purse, keys, loose change, you name it.  
  
Bex: Finished.  
  
Laila: Nope.  
  
I grabbed the bottomless-bag, that Bex was unsuccessfully attempting to hide behind her and dumped it on the table. Laila's turn next. She added a considerable amount to the prizes, including the lighter from her back pocket and a wallet. A certain policeman's wallet.  
  
Laila: Your turn Keeks.  
  
I added Just about everything I had on me. Jewellery, Money, Keys, Wallet, Knives, penknife, and finally my dreamcatcher necklace. There wasn't really everything special about this necklace, only that it was the only thing I possessed from my childhood. I wore it the whole time and was reluctant to let go of it.  
  
Bex: Don't bother, Keeks.  
  
She meant it. I smiled and refastened it at the back of my neck. Everyone was looking at me.  
  
Keikæ: What?  
  
Laila: Your oh-so-wonderful-belt-that-I've-had-my-eyes-on-for-a-long-time?  
  
Keikæ: No way!  
  
Laila&Bex: Yes way.  
  
I scowled and took off my oh-so-wonderful-belt-that-Laila's-had-her-eyes-on- for-a-long-time. By now, the only bit of Bex I could see was her hair. It wasn't a very good game. None of us got good hands and we were beginning to get bored.  
  
Bex: This is getting boring. I haven't had a single decent hand.  
  
Keikæ: Yeah. Ditto.  
  
Pippin: Ditto?  
  
Keikæ: Same as her.  
  
Laila: 1 card high draw to finish it off?  
  
Bex: Don't see why not.  
  
::Bex, you wouldn't know what a high card is.::  
  
Keikæ: Yeah.  
  
Laila dealt 3 cards, one to each of us. Bex smiled, Laila grinned and I stared blankly at the wall. Very difficult when you're tipsy and everyone's giggling. Bex laid down her card. Jack of Spades. Fine by me. Laila. Queen of Diamonds. Pretty high. I grinned and laid down the Ace of Clubs. I put on a Russian accent.  
  
Keikæ: It appears you have been beaten by the Ace of Clubs.  
  
I grinned.  
  
Keikæ: Well, I definitely am not going to be needing this, this or this, I have no need for a lighter so you can have this, these, I believe are yours because they are not my colour, although this, this and this is mine. And this. Although I do have one small change to make.  
  
I smiled sweetly and placed the bottomless-bag beside my chair.  
  
Keikæ: Well, that was a good game, wasn't it?  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
After a few other card games, most of which the hobbits took part in, we found ourselves in the centre of the hall, next to a dancing and singing, drunk Merry and Pippin.  
  
Merry and Pippin:  
  
Oh you can search far and wide,  
  
You can drink the whole town dry,  
  
But you'll never find a beer so brown,  
  
As the one we drink in our hometown.  
  
You can keep your fancy ales,  
  
You can drink them by the flagon,  
  
But the only brew for the brave and true,  
  
Comes from the Green Dragon!  
  
I saw Gandalf laugh and clap, soon joined by Aragorn.  
  
Aragorn: No news of Frodo?  
  
Gandalf: No word. Nothing.  
  
Aragorn: We have time. Every day Frodo moves closer to Mordor.  
  
Gandalf: Do we know that?  
  
Aragorn: What does your heart tell you?  
  
Gandalf: That Frodo is alive. Yes. Yes, he's alive.  
  
I smiled.  
  
Pippin: And what of your songs, Keikæ?  
  
Merry: Yes – can you sing a song from your world.  
  
Keikæ: Er... No.  
  
"Pleeeeeease?" They chorused. No wonder they can get themselves out of trouble; sometimes you simply can't say no.  
  
Bex: Yeah, sure.  
  
Keikæ: Thanks for that Bex.  
  
Bex: The 'usual' song – shortened version of course. A sort of, tribute to your wonderful acting over the past month.  
  
My smile widened to a grin.  
  
5 minutes, a lot of encouragement and 3 bottles of rum/home-brewed vodka later, and I was standing on the table, bottle in one hand, glass in the other.  
  
# We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot. Drink up me 'earties, yo ho. We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot. Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.  
  
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack. Drink up me 'earties, yo ho. Maraud and embezzle and even highjack. Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.  
  
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. We're rascals, scoundrels villains, and knaves Drink up me 'earties yo ho, We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs. Drink up me 'earties yo ho. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. #  
  
Keikæ: Really bad eggs!  
  
Laila: Drink up me 'earties yo- woah!  
  
By now we were definitely 100% tipsy. Definitely. I couldn't walk in a straight line at all, and eventually decided it was too hot and I needed to be outside.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
I leant against the wall, my head slightly clearer than before. I was beginning to regret convincing myself to leave the alcohol inside. I walked over to the wall and looked up at the flagpole. The flag was still missing. I smiled to myself and swung my legs over the wall.  
  
Keikæ: Such a perfect night.  
  
# My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all,  
  
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all,  
  
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall,  
  
It reminds me that it's not so bad it's not so bad,  
  
I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,  
  
My head just a feels in pain,  
  
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,  
  
I'm late for work again,  
  
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the day,  
  
And then you call me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad and-  
  
I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life  
  
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life  
  
Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through,  
  
Then you handed me a towel and all I see is you,  
  
And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue,  
  
Because you're near me and-  
  
I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life  
  
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life....#  
  
I heard someone approaching and turned to see who it was. I'll give you three guesses.  
  
Haldir: Certainly is a perfect night.  
  
Keikæ: I agree with you there. Although something stirs in the East – a sleepless malice.  
  
He seemed surprised to hear me say this. Then, I was just quoting the Return of the King. He sat down beside me. Yet another awkward silence.  
  
Haldir: I'm sorry, Keikæ. What I did... it was wrong of me.  
  
I paused for a minute. It was obvious what he was talking about, though I wasn't sure how to react.  
  
Keikæ: No, no it wasn't wrong of you. I... I'm glad you did, actually.  
  
He turned to face me. I kept my eyes fixed on the stars.  
  
::What the hell just made me say that?::  
  
Maybe it was pity, or loneliness, the fact I was still slightly drunk. Though I knew for a fact it was none of those. It was the plain truth.  
  
Keikæ: The plain truth.  
  
Haldir: The truth?  
  
Keikæ: Yeah. Although I know I'm going to be kicking myself in the morning for saying that.  
  
I finally forced myself to look at him. Deep blue eyes. So much feeling. Only inches away. Close. Too close.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
**A/N:** Phew... another chapter over and done with. Sorry it's been ages – the next chapter will be out sooner. If I'm ever this long again, please email me, because otherwise I forget. Thanx!!  
  
ASSBB!!  
  
Kess ;P 


	20. Secrets Revealed

**A/N: IMPORTANT**: If you have Author Alert, you probably got a message saying Chapter 19 – The Truth. This is a completely new chapter because I've reformatted everything so that it's all the same and makes more sense. I've also combined Chapters 1 & 2, so what was chapter 19 is now Chapter 18. Basically, if this chapter doesn't make any sense to you at the beginning, or you don't remember reading a Chapter called 'The Truth', then the chances are you haven't read the latest chapter and I suggest you should now, because otherwise this chapter won't make any sense. Sorry!!  
  
Review Answers:  
  
Elvie: O great – am I finally getting them to change because I was meant to do that gradually, but I'm sure if it's happening too fast. Thanx for nagging me to get another chapter up and being so supportive!! =D  
  
Kumarasgal23: Erm... Yuh. Although I'm not sure whether to make it Long or Short Term.  
  
Moralinde: Thank you sooooooooo much for your review. Half the time I haven't the foggiest of what I'm on about. Yeah, I suppose it would... Anyway, thank you for the review.  
  
Moralinde again: Oh... I have some mad reviewers. A few more won't hurt – what d'ye think 'bout the Keikæ/Haldir thing? I've no idea how well it's going to work out...  
  
Crecy: Hello. O good!!  
  
Jupiter's Light: Late? WHAT DO YOU MEAN LATE!!! No, you weren't late. Reviewing ain't something you HAVE to do, though it is useful to me. assbb!! P.S How come it seems you've reviewed absolutely EVERY story?  
  
Alassea2: PLEASE update your story – it is soooooooooo good – you HAVE to continue it. Yes I have read it and it is really, really good.  
  
Jupiter's Light (again): Evil!! I'm not evil!! MWAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA!!! Ok, perhaps a little.  
  
Elvie (again): THANK YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!! Yes, I will definitely have (had) a swashbuckling birthday!! Thankies!!  
  
Woah, A/N over and done with... quite long chappie this one Peeps, so please tell me what you think!!

P.S I left the last scene to your wonderfull imagineations.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 20 - Secrets Revealed  
  
2 hours later, I was attempting to walkalong the wall outside to see how drunk I was. Not very, as I managed to make it from one end to the other without falling off. I then walked back and began taking in the view, watching the clouds and the world go by.  
  
::Yeah, I know, pretty lame, but there wasn't exactly much else to do.::  
  
At least I was slightly sober. I heard three sets of footsteps approaching from the direction of the hall.  
  
Legolas: Keikæ?  
  
Keikæ: Aye?  
  
There was a quick pause.  
  
Legolas: How do you know about it all? Everything that happens, you know what I mean.  
  
Keikae: I do know exactly what you mean.

I couldn't have put it better myself. There wasn't any harm in telling them. Most of the life-threatening dangers to the characters had passed. Well, ok, not most. But anywho, I couldn't be bothered to keep secrets any longer. (A/N: You can skip this bit if you want to – it just describes the books.)  
  
Keikæ: Ok. How long do you have? Silence Ok. Where I come from, there was once a guy called Tolkein. I can't remember his first name. He wrote several books. One, not published until after he died, was called the Silmarilllion. I haven't read it yet, but it basically describes the making of middle earth, if you like. Another, was called The Hobbit. And told the adventures of a hobbit named Bilbo Baggins-  
  
Gandalf stiffened at the name.  
  
Keikæ: Frodo's uncle, in which he eventually found a ring, at Gollum's cave, that made the wearer invisible. I believe you, Gandalf know the story, as you were part of it. He also wrote a trilogy called the Lord of the Rings. It described Frodo's journey, this journey and the war of the ring. It was fictional entertainment for everyone back at home. To them, Middle Earth doesn't exist. It's a place in Tolkein's mind. It's a bit difficult to explain. On Earth, there are no such things as Elves or orcs, or ents. Anyway, after Tolkein died, 3 films were made. That's basically people acting it out, and someone else recording it. It was entertainment. Completely fictional. That's how I know every line. What's going to happen. It seems the films are more accurate than the books, for some veeeeeery strange reason that I don't know. I know what's going to happen to every person. There's just one flaw. Everything does eventually turn out all right. At least, in the films it does, but now Laila, Bex and I have come in. We might have changed the order in which things happen. Something that wasn't intended could happen. That's why I've kept it a secret from you for so long. I didn't want to change what was going to happen, despite I already have. Because it may have changed for the worst....  
  
There was a very long and awkward silence. Well, there would be if you had just said that where you come from, they don't exist.  
  
Legolas: That explains a lot.  
  
Another long silence though not as awkward this time as I had busied myself with fiddling with my nails.  
  
Gandalf: What do you know of Frodo and Sam?  
  
Keikæ: They met up with Gollum. Big struggle etcetera, etcetera and now Gollum is Sam and Frodo's guide. He led through Emyn Muil and to the Black Gate of Mordor.  
  
Aragorn: The Black Gate....  
  
Keikæ: Anywho, Sam fell down the slopes, and they were both nearly caught and Smeagol stopped them from going in and practically committing suicide.  
  
Aragorn: Who's Smeagol?  
  
Keikæ: Oh, yeah. That's Gollum's real name. Split personality. Sam doesn't trust him and Frodo only believes in him 'cause he thinks he has to believe he can come back or something weird like that. Frodo and Sam were then kidnapped, if you like, by some soldiers of Gondor. The leader found out about the ring and tried to take it off Frodo. He also threatened to kill Smeagol, forcing Frodo to break his promise and now Smeagol don't trust Frodo and plans to kill him.  
  
Legolas: This leader... does he have a name?  
  
Keikæ: Yup. But I ain't telling you. You'll find out soon enough. Still, he did let Frodo go because Sam explained to him why Boromir died, i.e. the ring drove him mad. You'll get what I mean in a few days. At least, I turned to Gandalf you will.  
  
Gandalf: Where have they gone? Tell me where they've gone!  
  
Keikæ: You will find out, just not right this minute. All in good time. Oh, and something's about to happen....  
  
Yet another silence, but this time I decided to make it a short one.  
  
Keikæ: The stars are veiled. Something stirs in the East...a sleepless malice.  
  
Legolas turned to look at Aragorn.  
  
Legolas: The Eye of the Enemy is moving.  
  
Keikæ: It has happened... fool of a Took.  
  
Legolas: He is here!  
  
Gandalf: Pippin!  
  
Sauron: I see you...  
  
Merry: Pippin! Help! Gandalf! Someone help him!  
  
The four of us burst into the room. First thing I saw was Pippin and Bex, both holding onto the palantír, both looking nothing short of terrified. Aragorn took the palantír away from Pippin and fainted momentarily as the palantír rolled away. Legolas held him. The palantír rolled to stop in front of my feet. Gandalf threw a cloak over it.  
  
Keikæ: Bex!  
  
Merry: Pippin!  
  
Gandalf: Fool of a Took!  
  
Bex seemed fine, although definately shaken. Gandalf pushed Merry away and bent over Pippin. Pippin looked frozen and shocked. Gandalf chanted something under his breath, while touching Pippin's forehead. Pippin then awakened and started panting, horrified.  
  
Gandalf: Look at me.  
  
Pippin: cringing Gandalf, forgive me.  
  
Gandalf: Look at me. What did you see?  
  
Pippin turned away, but Gandalf turned Pippin to face him.  
  
Bex: There was a tree.

Pippin: Yes, a white tree. In a courtyard of stone. It was dead!

Bex: And a white city. The city was burning.  
  
Gandalf: Minas Tirith. Is that what you saw?  
  
Pippin: I saw...I saw him! I can hear his voice in my head.  
  
Gandalf: What did you tell him? Speak!  
  
Pippin: He asked me my name. I didn't answer. He hurt me.  
  
The expression on Bex' face showed clearly that she didn't want to talk about it.

Gandalf: What did you tell him about Frodo and the Ring?  
  
Pippin looked at Gandalf, confusion in his eyes.  
  
Keikæ: Everything's just fine, Bex. Everything's just fine.  
  
I knew I shouldn't have, but curiosity got the better of me. So. I picked it up as it rolled to my feet, but nothing happened. Nothing. I took a closer look at it. Still nothing. The whole room seemed to hold it's breath. I would've expected Gandalf to take it off me by now. By now I was completely intrigued.  
  
Why did nothing happen? What the hell was going on?  
  
Bex was standing, at the side, completely petrified. Pippin was next to her on the floor, looking more stoned than Galadriel (if that's possible).  
  
::Some 'great power' this holds.::  
  
I spun the palantír on my finger, as if it were a basketball. That's when I felt it. I felt as if my hands were on fire. I looked down at it. It looked back at me. Or should I say, the Eye of Sauron looked back at me.  
  
_I see you.  
_  
That voice seemed to come from nowhere, inside my head, like when Galadriel had talked to me in that way. Though I must say, that eye was the best piece of special effects I have ever seen... probably because it wasn't special effects, it was real, or as real as anything gets in a fictional world.  
  
_I see you._  
  
I decided I might as well act obnoxious – there was nothing for me to be afraid of, as far as I was concerned, and I most definitely would not tell Sauron anything of Frodo and the ring.  
  
_I see you._  
  
::Yeah, and I see you too.::  
  
_The Ring... Where...._  
  
I adopted an RP English accent at this point.  
  
::Terribly sorry, can't tell you that.::  
  
_The Ring... Who...._  
  
By now the voice seemed more demanding  
  
::Soz, but I can't tell you that either. Anyway, what do you intend to do with Middle Earth once you've- sorry, if you conquer it.::  
  
_Enslave... Torture...._  
  
::Oh, yes, that's all very satisfying and all the rest of it, but is that all you're really going to do? I mean, you have practically the world at your feet, but what are you going to do with it? What really is the point?::  
  
_Don't question me... girl..._  
  
The heat radiating from the palantír increased, and I then noticed that I seemed to be alone, nowhere. By now I was beginning to lose my cool. I then decided perhaps it wasn't such a good idea, after all.  
  
_Where is it? Who has it?_  
  
::Definitely NOT me.::  
  
I was definitely panicking. I felt as if my hands were burning, sticking. I stayed silent, not trusting myself to speak, in case I said something stupid.  
  
_Where? Who?  
  
WHERE? WHO?  
_  
Keikæ: NO!!  
  
I screamed this out loud. People, places, flashed in front of me. Not in the Palantír, in my mind. I screamed again, then it seemed that someone had finally prized my hands off it, because I was back in the room, surrounded by the same people. I looked down to see the Palantír on the floor, smoking. I then noticed my own hands, traces of burns from my wrists to my fingers. I felt faint.  
  
Keikæ: Oh. Note to self: Never play with fire.  
  
I didn't even feel myself hit the floor.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
::Dark. Just dark. And hard.::  
  
::At least, I think it is.::  
  
::Wake up, Keeks.::  
  
::I don't wunnu.::  
  
::Just wake up.::  
  
I made to sit upright, but someone placed a hand on my shoulder, preventing me from doing so. The owner of the hand spoke.  
  
"Relax. Rest."  
  
It didn't say much else. I opened my eyes, and shut them again, not used to the light.  
  
Keikæ: Yep. I'm awake. I'm getting up.  
  
I made to get up, but again, someone pushed me back.  
  
"No you're not."  
  
Keikæ: So you mean, I'm not at home, with a cup of cold coffee beside me, late for work. Again.  
  
"What's coffee?"  
  
I opened my eyes again, though this time they remained open, blinking in the morning light.

The first thing I did was look at my hands. There were still traces of burns, though they had faded alot and were nowhere near as painful as I remembered.

Keikæ: Have my hands miraculously healed, or have I been out for alot longer than I thought?

Haldir: No, you've only been 'out' since yesterday evening.

Keikæ: Oh. Well tha's ok then. Do you mind me asking why my hands have healed so quickly?

Haldir: You can ask, but I don't know the answer.

1 hour later I was on my feet and in the hall. By then, my hands weren't hurting at all.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Gandalf: There was no lie in Pippin's eyes. A fool, but an honest fool he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring. We've been strangely fortunate. Pippin - and Bex - saw in the palantír a glimpse of the Enemy's plan. Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith. His defeat at Helm's Deep showed our enemy one thing. He knows the Heir of Elendil has come forth. Men are not as weak as he supposed. There is courage still...strength perhaps to challenge him. Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of Middle- earth uniting under one banner. He will raze Minas Tirith to the ground before he sees a king return to the throne of Men. If the beacons of Gondor are lit, Rohan must be ready for war.  
  
Théoden: Tell me; why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?  
  
Keikæ: Hem. As I seem to remember, Théoden King, it was you who refused to ask for help, who refused to send out riders.  
  
Aragorn: I will go.  
  
Gandalf: No.  
  
Aragorn: They must be warned!  
  
Gandalf: They will be!

Gandalf must have been expecting me to speak quietly to Aragorn alone. Which I did.

Keikæ: You must come to Minas Tirith by another road. Follow the river, look to the black ships.

Gandalf continued with his speech to the rest of those in the hall.

Gandalf: Understand this, things are now in motion that cannot be undone. I ride for Minas Tirith. And I won't be going alone.  
  
His gaze moved in the direction of the two Hobbits, with Bex standing behind them.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Gandalf: Keikæ, why did you not tell us about Pippin until it was too late?  
  
Keikæ: Because firstly, you would not know of the enemy's plans. Secondly, you would not be riding to Minas Tirith where Denethor is being driven into madness, will commit suicide and send half his army to their death. Thirdly, he does not want the beacons lit, so you will, in a sense, have to do it for him. War is coming to Gondor. If Pippin had not looked at the palantír, you would not be riding to Minas Tirith and Gondor and the rest of Middle Earth would fall. Savvy?

::Wow. Did I really just say that?::  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Gandalf walked into the stables followed by the two hobbits, Bex, Laila and me.  
  
Gandalf: Of all the inquisitive Hobbits, Peregrin Took, you are the worst! Hurry, hurry!  
  
Pippin: Where are we going?  
  
Merry: turned to Pippin Why did you look? Why do you always have to look?  
  
Pippin: I don't know. I can't help it.  
  
Merry: You never can.  
  
Pippin: I'm sorry, all right? I won't do it again.  
  
Merry: Don't you understand? The Enemy thinks you have the Ring. He's going to be looking for you, Pip. They have to get you out of here.  
  
Pippin: And you-you're coming with me? Merry turns and goes to the stables. Merry?  
  
Merry: No Pip, but Becky is.  
  
::Becky – how cute.::  
  
Pippin: How far is Minas Tirith?  
  
Gandalf: Three days' ride, as the Nazgûl flies, and you better hope we don't have one of those on our tail.  
  
Merry: Here, something for the road.  
  
Pippin: The last of the Longbottom Leaf?  
  
Merry: I know you've run out. You smoke too much, Pip.  
  
Pippin: But we'll see each other soon...won't we?  
  
Merry: I don't know... I don't know what's going to happen.  
  
Pippin: Merry...?  
  
Keikæ: Listen, Bex. Just do as Gandalf says and don't do anything stupid. Remember all I've told you. I will see you again. Savvy?  
  
Bex: Aye. I just hope it's soon.  
  
Gandalf: Run Shadowfax. Show us the meaning of haste!  
  
Pippin: Merry!  
  
Shadowfax galloped off, and I followed Merry up to a lookout point to see them off.  
  
Aragorn: Merry!  
  
Aragorn came up a few seconds later, and we watched them ride away.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
No, the chappie ain't finished. I did say it's a long one, didn't I? Here the story splits in two, so although Keikæ isn't there, I'm going to write what happens in Minas Tirith and Bex. Yeah, quite confusing, but just bear with me.  
  
P.S It goes in movie order. Still.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Gandalf: We've just passed into the realm of Gondor.  
  
They crested a hill, and saw Minas Tirith in the distance.  
  
Gandalf: Minas Tirith. City of Kings.  
  
They rode through the many levels of the city, as people jumped out of the way in front of them.  
  
Gandalf: Make way!  
  
They eventually entered the Courtyard of the Citadel, where the White Tree stood.  
  
Pippin: It's the tree. Gandalf, Gandalf!  
  
Gandalf: Yes, the White Tree of Gondor. The Tree of the King. Listen Pippin, Rebecca-  
  
Bex didn't like being called Rebecca, but decided not to make a fuss right this moment.  
  
Lord Denethor is not the king. He is a steward, only. A caretaker of the throne.  
  
Gandalf paused before entering the hall.  
  
Gandalf: Now, listen carefully, both of you. Lord Denethor is Boromir's father. Apparently he knows of his son's death, but just in case to give him news of it would be most unwise. And do not mention Frodo, or the Ring. And say nothing of Aragorn, either. In fact, it's better if you don't speak at all.  
  
Bex nodded. They entered the hall and saw a man sitting on a black chair at the end of the grand hall.  
  
Gandalf: Hail Denethor, son of Ecthelion, Lord and Steward of Gondor. I come with tidings in this dark hour, and with counsel.  
  
Denethor: Perhaps you come to explain this. Held up Boromir's cloven horn. Perhaps you come to tell me why my son is dead.  
  
There was a short silence. Bex didn't seem to have the slightest clue of what was happening.  
  
Pippin: Boromir died to save us, my kinsman and me. He fell defending us from many foes.  
  
Gandalf: Pippin!  
  
Pippin: I offer you my service, such as it is, in payment of this debt.  
  
Bex buried her face in her hands, muttering to herself.  
  
"Stupid Hobbit."  
  
Gandalf: Get up!  
  
He whacked Pippin with his staff quickly, before turning to Denethor.  
  
Gandalf: My Lord, there will be a time to grieve for Boromir. But it is not now. War is coming. The enemy is on your doorstep! As steward, you are charged with the defence of this city! Where are Gondor's armies? You still have friends. You are not alone in this fight. Send word to Théoden of Rohan. Light the beacons.  
  
Denethor: snarling You think you are wise, Mithrandir, yet for all your subtleties you have not wisdom. Do you think the eyes of the White Tower are blind? I have seen more than you know. With your left hand you would use me as a shield against Mordor, and with your right you would seek to supplant me! I know who rides with Théoden of Rohan. Oh yes! Word has reached my ears of this Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and I tell you now I will not bow to this Ranger from the North, last of a ragged house long bereft of lordship.  
  
Gandalf: Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king, Steward.  
  
Denethor rose from his seat, most likely happy of his height advantage from there.  
  
Denethor: The rule of Gondor is mine, and no other's!  
  
Denethor sat down. Obviously, his mind was made. Gandalf regarded him for a moment, then turned and walked away.  
  
Gandalf: to Pippin and Bex Come.  
  
The three of them stood in a room. Bex seemed to be getting to grips on what was happening, and Pippin was looking at the armour of the Guards of the Citadel that was laid upon his bed. Gandalf was standing by the balcony door, gazing into the distance.  
  
Pippin: looking over his armour So I imagine this is just a ceremonial position. I mean, they don't actually expect me to do any fighting, do they?  
  
Gandalf: You're in the service of the steward now. You're going to have to do as you're told, Peregrin Took, Guard of the Citadel.  
  
Pippin walked over to the balcony, joining Bex and Gandalf.  
  
Pippin: It's so quiet.  
  
Gandalf: It's the deep breath before the plunge.  
  
Bex: The calm before the storm.  
  
Pippin: I don't want to be in a battle, but waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse. Gandalf walked over to stand next to him. Is there any hope, Gandalf, for Frodo and Sam?  
  
Gandalf: There never was much hope...just a fool's hope. Our Enemy is ready, his full strength gathered. Not only Orcs, but Men as well. Legions of Haradrim from the south. Mercenaries from the coast. All will answer Mordor's call. This will be the end of Gondor as we know it. Here the hammer-stroke will fall the hardest. If the river is taken, if the garrison at Osgiliath falls, the last defence of this city will be gone.  
  
Bex: In other words Pip, there is hope. After all, Keikæ didn't tell me much, and only told me what I needed to know, but I get the feeling things will turn out alright. If she knew things plans would fail and darkness would take over, She would probably be as far away from Mordor as she could possibly get. And anyway-  
  
She turned to Gandalf.  
  
Bex: You're the White Wizard, that's got to count for something.  
  
Pippin: Gandalf?  
  
Gandalf: Sauron has yet to release his deadliest servant. The one who will lead Mordor's armies in war. The one they say no living Man can kill. The Witch-king of Angmar. You've met him before. He stabbed Frodo on Weathertop. He is the lord of the Nazgûl, the greatest of the Nine. Minas Morgul is his lair.  
  
Bex: I think that's something Keikæ forgot to tell me. Hang on - what are Nazgûl?  
  
Gandalf: They were once men. Great kings of Men. Then Sauron the Deceiver gave to them nine Rings of Power. Blinded by their greed, they took them without question. One by one falling into darkness. Now they are slaves to his will. They are the Ringwraiths, neither living nor dead. At all times they feel the presence of the Ring. Drawn to the power of the One. They will never stop hunting it.  
  
Gandalf turned his face to the direction of Minas Morgul. There, a kind of, column of light was seen.  
  
Gandalf: We come to it at last. The great battle of our time. The board is set. The pieces are moving.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Gandalf strode swiftly through the city, followed by Pippin and Bex.  
  
Gandalf: Rebecca, Peregrin, there is a task now to be done. You must not fail me.  
  
Pippin had a look of understanding on his face and quickly explained to Bex what Gandalf wanted them to do. They ran off in the direction of the beacon tower.  
  
Bex gave Pippin a leg up, and the two of them climbed to the top of the beacon. Bex pointed to the oil lamp hanging above the wood.  
  
Bex: Get it! Yeah! Now drop it and get out of there! It's times like this when I wish I had Laila's stupid habit of keeping a lighter in my back pocket.  
  
Pippin followed her instructions, dumps some oil on the wood and starts the beacon fire. He then quickly realized it's not particularly clever to stay on a lit pile of wood, and began to climb back down. The soldiers guarding the beacon realized it had been lit but could do nothing about it. Bex could see, on the horizon, the next beacon being lit, and the next.  
  
Gandalf: quietly Amon Dîn...  
  
Guard: The beacon! The beacon of Amon Dîn is lit!  
  
Denethor peered out a window and sneered.  
  
Gandalf: Hope is kindled.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
A/N: AHHH!!! 14 PAGES!!! Soz if it's a bit confusing. Please review and tell me if it is. Please?  
  
assbb!!  
  
Kess ;P


	21. Encounter with Random Elf Dude 4

**A/N:**

Allasea2: Yeah... anoying that, isn't it?

elvenstorm: Thankies!!

Jupiter's Light: Yeah, that does make sense, doesn't it? hehe THANK YOU!!

Moralinde: Thanx. How do you think I could improve it? I mean, what don't you like about it? (I'm not having a go at you, and neither do I intend to. I just want to see your side.)

Thank you wonderful reviewers... PLEASE GET ME UP TO 100 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!

assbb

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 21 - Encounter with Random Elf Dude #4  
  
I was sitting in the hall with Laila, Ilréthiel, Gimli and Legolas. Laila was gabling on about nothing in particular.  
  
Keikæ: Wait, wait a minute, Laila. Right. You four. Just watch those doors, savvy? Just watch 'em. Ok... 3, 2, 1-  
  
Right on cue, Aragorn threw open the doors.  
  
Aragorn: The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!  
  
Keikæ: ya see. Works every time.  
  
Théoden looked up from a map. Éowyn ran to stand next to Éomer. Everyone's eyes were on Théoden, anticipating his reaction.  
  
Théoden: paused, and then calmly proclaimed And Rohan will answer!  
  
Théoden: Muster the Rohirrim!  
  
A gong was soon heard from the top of a tower.  
  
Legolas: How do you know that?!  
  
He said this as a joke. His cold attitude towards me had changed a heck of a lot since I had told him the truth.  
  
Keikæ: Trust me, I have seen the third film way too many times – I know exactly what people say or do, and exactly when.  
  
Laila: That is neat.  
  
Keikæ: Dude. You're telling me?  
  
Laila: The first thing I'm going to do when I get back home is watch all three films, non-stop.  
  
Keikæ: All nine hours of them? Why bother? You've seen the whole thing over a few months. For real.  
  
Théoden strode out of the Golden Hall in his armour.  
  
Théoden: Assemble the Men at Dunharrow, as many Men as can be found. You have two days. On the third, we ride for Gondor...and war. Gamling!  
  
Gamling: Sir.  
  
Théoden: Make haste across the Riddermark. Summon every able-bodied man to Dunharrow.  
  
Gamling: I will.  
  
Aragorn saw Éowyn leading out her horse.  
  
Aragorn: You ride with us?  
  
Éowyn: Just to the encampment. It's tradition for the Women of the Court to farewell the Men.  
  
Aragorn lifted up the saddle blanket of her horse to reveal her sword. Éowyn snatched it back down, hiding the sword again. I grinned and looked down, hoping nobody would notice.  
  
Éowyn: The Men have found their captain. They will follow you into battle, even to death. You have given us hope.  
  
She turned away. Aragorn contemplated her words.  
  
Théoden: So, it is before the walls of Minas Tirith, the doom of our time will be decided.  
  
Laila: Yup. Pretty much.  
  
Éomer: Now is the hour! Riders of Rohan! Oaths you have taken, now fulfil them all! For lord and land!  
  
The Rohirrim rode out of Edoras, including Merry on a small white pony.  
  
Bex was watching the fleeing soldiers riding from Osgiliath, witch was overrun with orcs from the city wall. Nazgûl flew above them, picking them off, one by one. All looked hopeless for the Men of Gondor, until a white horse galloped from the city gates of Minas Tirith.  
  
Soldier: It's the White Rider!  
  
Gandalf and Pippin, mounted upon Shadowfax, rode towards the retreating army. As they neared the Men of Gondor, Gandalf raised his staff; and pure, white light issues forth, driving the Nazgûl back. Gandalf fell in at the head of the company and they withdrew into Minas Tirith. Bex ran down into the courtyard.  
  
Faramir: Mithrandir! They broke through our defences. They've taken the bridge and the west bank. Battalions of Orcs are crossing the river.  
  
Gondorian Soldier: It is as the Lord Denethor predicted! Long has he foreseen this doom!  
  
Gandalf: Foreseen and done nothing!  
  
Gandalf turned around with Shadowfax, revealing Pippin who was sitting in front of him. As Faramir saw the Hobbit, he stared at him. Pippin noticed he was being stared at and lowered his face.  
  
Gandalf: Faramir?  
  
Bex: This is not the first Halfling to have crossed your path.  
  
Faramir: No...  
  
Pippin looked up, the look on his face getting brighter.  
  
Bex: You have seen Frodo and Sam. You met them in Ithilien, not two days ago.  
  
Faramir: Yes, but how did you know?  
  
Pippin turned to look at Gandalf, while Gandalf turned to look at Bex. Both hobbit and wizard looked happy and relieved. Faramir looked confused at Bex.  
  
"Keikæ told me." She explained simply, not even considering that Faramir had never heard of Keikæ.  
  
Faramir: Gandalf, they've taken the road to the Morgul Vale.  
  
The smile on Gandalf's face faded and he looked at Faramir, his eyes filling with worry.  
  
Gandalf: And then the Pass of Cirith Ungol?  
  
Faramir nodded silently.  
  
Pippin: What does that mean? What's wrong?  
  
Gandalf: Faramir, tell me everything. To himself All in good time Keikæ?  
  
Back at Minas Tirith, Gandalf looked out from the city wall.  
  
Gondorian Soldier: What of Théoden's Riders? Will Rohan come? Mithrandir?  
  
Gandalf: Courage is the best defence you have now.  
  
Bex: That and...  
  
Gandalf glared at her.  
  
Bex: Er... Ok, I should shut up now.  
  
Pippin knelt before Denethor's throne, swearing his service. Faramir stood and watched.  
  
Pippin: Here do I swear fealty and service to Gondor, in peace or war, in living or dying, from...from this hour henceforth, until my lord release me, or death take me.  
  
Denethor stood up with an amused smile on his face.  
  
Denethor: And I shall not forget it, nor fail to reward that which is given. Denethor extended his hand, on which there was a ring; Pippin kissed it reluctantly. Fealty with love, valour with honour, looking at Faramir disloyalty with vengeance.  
  
Denethor then went and sat at a table on which there was a platter of fruit and meats. Pippin stood.  
  
Denethor: to Faramir I do not think we should so lightly abandon the outer defences. Defences that your brother long held intact.  
  
Faramir: What would you have me do?  
  
Denethor: I will not yield the river and Pelennor unfought. Osgiliath must be retaken.  
  
Bex: But Osgiliath is overrun, my lord.  
  
Denethor: Much must be risked in war. Is there a captain here who still has the courage to do his lord's will?  
  
Pippin looked at Denethor, then turned to look at Faramir, confused. Faramir watched his father with a saddened expression.  
  
Faramir: voice breaking You wish now that our places had been exchanged. That I had died and Boromir had lived.  
  
Denethor was silent before answering, the expression on his face serious.  
  
Denethor: as if to himself Yes, I wish that.  
  
Denethor brought a goblet to his lips and drank. Faramir looked at his father, tears forming in his eyes.  
  
Faramir: Since you are robbed of Boromir, I will do what I can in his stead.  
  
Faramir bowed to his father and turned to leave. Bex watched as Faramir limped away. Denethor merely sat with the wine goblet in his hands and remained silent. Faramir stopped and turned to look at Denethor.  
  
Faramir: If I should return, think better of me, father.  
  
Denethor: coldly and doesn't look up That will depend on the manner of your return.  
  
Bex followed Faramir out of the hall. She found him quite quickly – at the time he had just mounted his horse, ready to reattempt taking Osgiliath.  
  
Bex: Oi! Hey you! Faramir dude!  
  
Faramir looked surprised at the language Bex was using. Then, he probably would, having never been called a 'dude' before.  
  
Bex: For Pete's sake, this is suicide.  
  
Faramir remained silent.  
  
Bex: Look. Get off that bloody horse right now.  
  
...  
  
Bex: Now!  
  
Faramir paused.  
  
Faramir: Who is Keikæ?  
  
Bex: Friend. Well, sorta. Actually, yeah, she is. Why?  
  
Faramir: How did she know I had met the halflings – I have not told anyone of that since, and nor have I met someone named Keikæ.  
  
Bex: Ah. Well that is a long story. And you will meet her in about 5 months. I think. Or at least, that's what she told me, though I don't know if we'll have gone by then.  
  
Faramir looked utterly confused.  
  
Bex: Basically, you'll meet her in July, and you can ask her the questions then. I don't have all the answers – I only know what she's told me. Lets just say she knows everything about everyone everywhere. It's a long story.  
  
Faramir nodded.  
  
Faramir: Does that mean I will survive?  
  
Bex: O shit. No, I didn't say that – that's not what I meant.  
  
He was already riding away from her.  
  
Faramir rode through the streets of the city with a small group of soldiers, on their way to attempt to retake Osgiliath. The people of the city watched them as they went by, sad looks of despair mirrored on all of their faces. The women threw flowers at the horses' feet, and hand small bouquets to the soldiers.  
  
Gandalf: Faramir! Faramir!  
  
Gandalf pushed his way through the crowd, closely followed by Bex, who didn't know what else to do, and began to walk beside Faramir.  
  
Gandalf: Your father's will has turned to madness! Do not throw away your life so rashly!  
  
Faramir: Where does my allegiance lie, if not here?  
  
Bex: Why are people round here so stupid sometimes?  
  
Gandalf watched as Faramir rode away.  
  
Bex: Your father loves you, Faramir! He will remember it before the end. Please don't do this!  
  
Faramir: I will survive. I will live to fight again. You said so yourself.  
  
The soldiers formed ranks, and rode towards Osgiliath. The people of Minas Tirith lined the walls to watch them go. Orcs in the ruined city raised their heads from behind broken boulders, and watched the oncoming riders. Bex ran up to the great hall, where Denethor continued to eat.  
  
Denethor: Can you sing, Master Hobbit?  
  
Pippin: Well, yes. At least, well enough for my own people. But we have no songs for great halls and evil times.  
  
Denethor: grimly And why should your songs be unfit for my halls? Come, sing me a song.  
  
Pippin seemed in thought, as if finding the words, and then sang:  
  
#Home is behind, the world ahead,  
  
And there are many paths to tread.  
  
Through shadow, to the edge of night,  
  
Until the stars are all alight.  
  
Mist and shadow, cloud and shade,  
  
All shall fade! All shall fade ... #  
  
The doors opened and Bex entered.  
  
Denethor: And can you?  
  
Bex: Sorry? What the hell are you on about.  
  
Denethor seemed confused at first, at what Bex had just said. Ignoring the last bit of her question he repeated:  
  
Denethor: Can you sing, Lady...  
  
Bex: Rebecca. And yes, I do sing.  
  
Denethor gestured for her to sing. Seeing no harm in it, she began to sing quietly.  
  
Bex:  
  
#I just want to feel safe in my own skin  
  
I just want to be happy again  
  
I just want to feel deep in my own world  
  
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
  
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin  
  
then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened  
  
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin  
  
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
  
I just want to feel safe in my own skin  
  
I just want to be happy again...#  
  
Faramir was riding to suicide in Osgiliath. Pippin was close to tears. He bravely held it in, but when Bex finished singing he began to cry. Bex left the room and joined Gandalf sitting silently on a rock in a courtyard. They heard one bell ringing. Bex stood up abruptly and looked into the distance. What she saw was not encouraging. Trolls pushing huge combat towers across the river at Osgiliath. They then heard drums being played to mark the rhythm. Bex knew that this was a battle they could not win.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Théoden: Grimbold, how many?  
  
Grimbold: I bring five hundred Men from the Westfold, My Lord.  
  
Soldier: We have three hundred more from Fenmarch, (A/N I think.) Théoden King.  
  
Théoden: Where are the riders from Snowbourn?  
  
Soldier: None have come, My Lord.  
  
I crept up behind Théoden and Aragorn, looking down on the troops from above.  
  
Théoden: Six thousand spears, less than half of what I'd hoped for.  
  
Aragorn: Six thousand will not be enough to break the lines of Mordor.  
  
Théoden: More will come.  
  
Aragorn: Every hour lost hastens Gondor's defeat. We have till dawn, then we must ride.  
  
Théoden nodded. Nearby, a horse began to rear and neigh.  
  
Legolas: The horses are restless and the Men are quiet.  
  
Éomer: They grow nervous in the shadow of the mountain.  
  
Gimli: That road there, where does that lead?  
  
Keikæ: It is the road to the Dimholt, the door under the mountain.  
  
Éomer: None who venture there ever return.  
  
::Thas what you think.::  
  
Aragorn watched the Dimholt road from behind a rock and saw something like green smoke forming into faces. He looked worried.  
  
Gimli: Aragorn!  
  
Aragorn jerked around.  
  
Gimli: Let's find some food.  
  
::Or course. A Dwarf's answer to everything. If in doubt, have some food.::  
  
I disappeared to find Éowyn and Merry, inside a tent.  
  
::It's quite useful, to know exactly when to be, where.::  
  
He was dressed in the armour of the Rohirrim.  
  
Éowyn: There, a true Esquire of Rohan.  
  
Merry: I'm ready!  
  
Merry drew his blade and almost cut Éowyn. She laughed. I, being who I am and no other, grinned.  
  
Merry: Sorry, it isn't all that dangerous. It's not even sharp.  
  
Éowyn: Grabbed the blade. Well, that's no good, you won't kill many Orcs with a blunt blade. Come on.  
  
Merry ran out of the tent, almost tripping me up, wielding the sword, and Éowyn followed. Éomer and Gamling were sitting in front of a small campfire.  
  
Éowyn: to Merry To the smithy. Go!  
  
Éomer: You should not encourage him.  
  
Éowyn: You should not doubt him.  
  
Éomer: I do not doubt his heart, only the reach of his arm.  
  
Gamling snickered.  
  
Keikæ: Why are you so bent on ruining what hope he has?  
  
Éomer: Hope? It's been a long time since anyone had any hope.  
  
Keikæ: Hope is only there for those who believe in it.  
  
Éowyn: earnestly Why should Merry be left behind? He has as much cause to go to war as you. Why can he not fight for those he loves?  
  
Keikæ: Well?  
  
I looked down to see a mysterious figure, cloaked all in black, riding a horse up the winding path. He rode past the stone Púkel-men that squat by the road. I moved quickly and went to wake Aragorn. Aragorn snapped awake and draws his elven knife.  
  
::Dude – Who the hell sleeps with a knife under their pillow?::  
  
I held his wrist and said to him.  
  
Keikæ: Sir? Lord? Oh, whatever you are, King Théoden awaits you.  
  
Aragorn entered Théoden's tent. Théoden was standing in front of a hooded figure.  
  
Théoden: I take my leave.  
  
Aragorn approached slowly, and the figure stood up and removed the hood, revealing Elrond.  
  
Aragorn: Bowed, surprised. My Lord Elrond.  
  
Elrond: I come on behalf of one whom I love. Arwen is dying. She will not long survive the evil that now spreads from Mordor. The light of the Evenstar is failing. As Sauron's power grows, her strength wanes. Arwen's life is now tied to the fate of the Ring. The Shadow is upon us, Aragorn. The end has come.  
  
Aragorn: It will not be our end, but his.  
  
Elrond: You ride to war, but not to victory.  
  
::Bullshit.::  
  
Elrond: Sauron's armies march on Minas Tirith, this you know. But, in secret he sends another force which will attack from the river. A fleet of Corsair ships sails from the south. They'll be in the city in two days. You're outnumbered. You need more Men.  
  
All the time Elrond was saying this, I mouthed the words, just for the hell of it. I wasn't inside the tent, but I could hear their voices clearly enough.  
  
Aragorn: There are none.  
  
Elrond: There are those who dwell in the mountain.  
  
Aragorn: Murderers... traitors! You would call upon them to fight? They believe in nothing! They answer to no one!  
  
Elrond: They will answer to the King of Gondor!  
  
Elrond swept aside his cloak and pulled out the reforged sword. He presented it to Aragorn.  
  
Elrond: Andúril, Flame of the West, forged from the Shards of Narsil.  
  
Aragorn: Sauron will not have forgotten the Sword of Elendil.  
  
He looked at the sword before him, and quickly drew Andúril from the sheath.  
  
::Big shiny sword! Big shiny sword!::  
  
Aragorn: The blade that was broken shall return to Minas Tirith.  
  
Elrond: The man who can wield the power of this sword can summon to him an army more deadly than any that walks this earth. Put aside the Ranger. Become who you were born to be.  
  
::Dude, I love that line!::  
  
Take the Dimholt road.  
  
Elrond: "nen i-Estel Edain. [I give hope to Men]  
  
Aragorn: Ú-chebin estel anim. [I keep none for myself.]  
  
I left, knowing they wouldn't say any more, and perched on the edge, looking down at the camp below.  
  
It seemed I had woken Laila because she came up from behind and sat down beside me.  
  
Keikæ: Did I wake you?  
  
Laila: No. I was already awake. Why were you up?  
  
Keikæ: No reason.  
  
Laila: If you're up, it's for a reason. I know you too well to take that for an answer.  
  
Keikæ: Really?  
  
Laila: Oh, fine. Don't tell me.  
  
She put her arm around me and rested her head on my shoulder. (A/N No, they're not gay, just v. good friends.) She sighed.  
  
I heard someone approaching from behind. It was no person I knew, though I had a pretty good idea of who it might be. I turned to face whoever it was, causing Laila to sit up properly, rather than leaning on me.  
  
Keikæ: Lord Elrond.  
  
Elrond: You must be Keikæ.  
  
::Random Elf Dude #4::  
  
Keikæ: Aye. This is Laila.  
  
Elrond nodded. I nudged Laila sharply, who was half asleep, and she took the hint to get lost.  
  
Elrond: I have heard a lot about you.  
  
Keikæ: Aye, I can imagine.  
  
Awkward silence  
  
Elrond: Do you have any idea of how you came to middle earth?  
  
Keikæ: Nope. None whatsoever. Not the slightest inkling of how I came here, or why of all people to come here, it just happened to be me, and of all places I had to land in- I mean, why Lothlorien?  
  
Elrond: What makes you say that?  
  
Keikæ: Well, it's about the only place where elves surround you immediately and so, the only place where I try to escape and half strangle Lady Galadriel. I just, didn't believe it at first. Where I'm from, Middle Earth is a fictional place. I thought it was all a big hoax at first.  
  
Elrond: And do you still think it's a big hoax?  
  
I held up my hands, the scars still visible but faint.  
  
Keikæ: Does this look like a hoax? No. The places are completely real, I don't think anyone would bother setting me up unless it was Laila or Bex, but they hardly have enough money to live on, let alone do all this. Savvy?  
  
Awkward Silence  
  
Elrond: Did you want to come here?  
  
Keikæ: If I was back home asking myself that question, it would have been a definite no. Though now I'm here... it's been the most life changing thing that's ever happened to me. Though I still don't know why me.  
  
Elrond: What do you mean by that?  
  
Keikæ: I mean why me out of the 6 billion-and-a-bit people in the hundred- and-ninety-three-or-whatever-the-actual-number-happens-to-be countries of Earth? What are the chances of three people – us three – being randomly picked from so many? Actually, no, don't answer that.  
  
He looked quite surprised when I mentioned the population and number of countries of Earth. He turned to leave.  
  
Keikæ: And why do you think we're here?  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
I scrambled up onto a rock, about ten or more metres up, at the entrance to the Dimholt road, to get a good view of what was about to happen. I could see quite a lot from up there. Aragorn preparing to leave. Éowyn coming up to him and confronting him.  
  
Éowyn: Why are you doing this? The war lies to the east; you cannot leave on the eve of battle. You cannot abandon the Men.  
  
::He ain't abandoning them.::  
  
Aragorn: Éowyn.  
  
Éowyn: We need you here.  
  
Aragorn: sadly Why have you come?  
  
Éowyn: Do you not know?  
  
Aragorn: It is but a shadow and a thought that you love. I cannot give you what you seek.  
  
::Sure, you're future king of Gondor, but you can be such an insensitive bastard sometimes.::  
  
Éowyn backed away in disbelief and shock. Aragorn gazed at her for a moment before he led Brego away, and Éowyn stood there in tears, overwhelmed and heartbroken.  
  
::Yuh, I know. He can be such a git sometimes.::  
  
Gimli: Just where do you think you're off to?  
  
Aragorn: Not this time. This time you must stay, Gimli.  
  
Legolas walked up leading his horse.  
  
Legolas: Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of Dwarves?  
  
Gimli: You might as well accept it. We're going with you, laddie.  
  
They started towards the road, and caught sight of me, perched on a rock, swinging one leg.  
  
Aragorn: No way.  
  
Keikæ: Ah, c'mon, ya may as well.  
  
I took his silence as yes and then took to figuring out how I was going to get down. Finding no suitable route to climb down, I jumped it. We rode down the path, Aragorn leading. I could hear the men in camp questioning why we were going.  
  
::To hell with them.::

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Yeah, another long one. They seem to be getting longer and longer. Anywho, please review. That was not meant to rhyme. WTH Reviews! I love them! Be nice to me and send me a review!!  
  
assbb!!  
  
Kess ;P


	22. Let The Wars Begin! Big Time!

**A/N:** YAY!! 100 REVIEWS!! AND IT'S ALL DOWN TO YOU GUYS!!  
  
Virtual chocolate to my 100th reviewer... zeldagrl436!! Thank YOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!  
  
elvenstorm: Aha! Tha's my secret!  
  
Moralinde: O thank you! S'ok to criticise – I don't mind.  
  
Neko: Yup... Pretty much.  
  
Allasea2: I's cos I follow the Films... Sorry! I've only read the books once and that was like... aaaaaaaaaaaages ago, so could you please refresh my memory and tell me where they come in? I might write them into the story...  
  
Here, the story splits again and Keikæ is separated from Laila. Hope you don't get too confused.  
  
assbb!!  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 22 – Let the Wars... Begin! Big Time!  
  
Riding along the road to the Dimholt. Sharp grey rocks surrounded us on a the narrow path.  
  
Gimli: What kind of an army would linger in such a place?  
  
Legolas: One that is cursed. Long ago the Men of the Mountain swore an oath to the last King of Gondor, to come to his aid, to fight. But when the time came, when Gondor's need was dire, they fled. And so Isildur cursed them, never to rest until they had fulfilled their oath.  
  
I guess tha's one way of saying it.  
  
At the end of the path, we saw a small opening crafted into a rock. Primitive paintings were above it.  
  
Gimli: The very warmth of my blood seems drawn away.  
  
Legolas: The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead, and The Dead keep it. The way is shut.  
  
We dismounted, still holding the horses by the reins. Aragorn had Andúril in his hand. The sheath was attached to Brego's saddle. The horses seemed nervous. We slowly approached the opening. The horses suddenly went crazy and I was forced to let go of the reins of mine. Aragorn and Legolas did the same, and the horses galloped off.  
  
Aragorn: Brego!  
  
Aragorn turned and looked back at the tunnel into the mountain.  
  
Aragorn: I do not fear death!  
  
Keikæ: Oh, well that's ok then.  
  
He walked quickly and firmly into the darkness behind the opening. Legolas hesitated another second, then followed him determinedly.  
  
Gimli: Well, this is a thing unheard of. An Elf will go underground where a Dwarf dare not! Ah, I'd never hear the end of it!  
  
Keikæ: c'mon – there's nothing to be afraid of. Just a few thousand murderous dead people.  
  
::I don't think that was very encouraging.::  
  
He stamped his feet a few times, finally found his courage and followed his companions.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
**Laila**  
  
The Rohirrim werepreparing to leave. Fires were put out quickly, Men jumped on horses. Théoden left his tent with Éomer.  
  
Théoden: We must ride light and swift. It's a long road ahead, and Man and beast must reach the end with the strength to fight.  
  
Merry stood with his white pony. Théoden passed him on horse.  
  
Théoden: Little Hobbits do not belong in war, Master Meriadoc.  
  
Merry: All my friends have gone to battle. I would be ashamed to be left behind!  
  
Théoden: It's a three-day gallop to Minas Tirith, and none of my Riders can bear you as a burden.  
  
Laila: That is so unfair!  
  
Merry: I want to fight!  
  
Théoden: I will say no more.  
  
Théoden rode off leaving Merry standing, lost and ashamed, watching the Riders pass him by.  
  
Laila: That is so unfair. I'm really sorry, Merry.  
  
Laila mounted her horse.  
  
Laila: Actually, ride with me.  
  
She extended her hand, but as one Rider approaches him, he reached out with his arm, grabbed the Hobbit and pulled him on his horse.  
  
Éowyn: Ride with me.  
  
She put an arm around him. Merry smiled happily and proudly.  
  
Merry: My Lady!  
  
Laila: Well, ok then, ride with her. Either way, you still go into battle.  
  
Laila caught up with them. Éowyn turned to face her and smiled.  
  
Éomer: Form up! Move out!  
  
Théoden: Ride! Ride now to Gondor!  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
**Keik**

We rushed through the mountain. Aragorn had a metal torch. Thankfully. We eventually reached a huge hall, that felt really creepy. It felt as if the whole place was watching us – as if there were eyes everywhere.

Keikæ: Cosy place to hang out when you're dead, isn't it.

Aragorn: Do you really have to say such useless things? Do me a favour, and don't.

Keikæ: Yessir.

The next thing I heard was him muttering to himself. "I swear the first thing I'm going to do when this is over is put her in jail." Nice to know. A figure appeared - the King of the Dead. He looked like a ghost, better and more realistic than anything I'd ever see on the screens.

::This is not a film – this is the real thing, Keeks.::

King of the Dead: Who enters my domain?  
  
Aragorn: One who will have your allegiance.  
  
King of the Dead: The Dead do not suffer the living to pass.  
  
Aragorn: You will suffer me.  
  
The King of the Dead laughed. I couldn't help feeling a little scared. The Dead appeared and surrounded us.  
  
King of the Dead: The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead and The Dead keep it. The way is shut. Now you must die.  
  
Legolas released an arrow. It went straight through the one aimed at as if through thin air.  
  
::Not the best thing you've ever done, Legolas.::

Aragorn: I summon you to fulfil your oath.  
  
King of the Dead: None but the King of Gondor may command me.  
  
Aragorn lifted Andúril. The King of the Dead attacked him with a sword. Aragorn blocked and then grabbed the King by his throat. Neat.

Keikæ: Ya see, Aragorn kicks but.  
  
King of the Dead: That line was broken! (A/N: not sure about that line)

Aragorn: It has been remade.  
  
He released the King, and addressed The Dead surrounding him.  
  
Aragorn: Fight for us, and regain your honour.  
  
He walked through the crowd of ghosts.  
  
::Now, ya pushing ya luck.::  
  
Aragorn: What say you?  
  
::I believe the line is 'What say ye?', but then, we're not in PotC. We are in LotR.::  
  
The Dead shuffled about, looking uncertain.  
  
Aragorn: What say you?  
  
Gimli: You waste your time, Aragorn! They had no honour in life, they have none now in death.  
  
I nudged Gimli whispering: "Shut up."  
  
Aragorn: I am Isildur's heir! Fight for me, and I will hold your oaths fulfilled!  
  
The Dead watched Aragorn, unable to decide.  
  
Aragorn: commanding What say you?!

**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
**Bex**  
  
At Minas Tirith, Bex watched the Orcs and siege towers approaching.  
  
Soldier: Open the gate, quick!  
  
The gate opened and an unconscious Faramir was dragged in by his horse, his body struck with arrows. Be turned to look at the Orc army, where the leader, Gothmog, rode among his troops on a Warg, looking pleased. Faramir was carried up to the top of Minas Tirith.  
  
Soldier: Quick, hurry!  
  
Denethor ran into the courtyard.  
  
Denethor: Faramir!  
  
The soldiers lay Faramir down beside the White Tree.  
  
Denethor: Say not that he has fallen!  
  
Soldier: They were outnumbered. None survived.  
  
Bex: Wrong.  
  
Pippin watched from afar.  
  
Gothmog: Fear. The city is rank with it. Let us ease their pain. Release the prisoners!  
  
Orc: Catapults!  
  
The catapults fired. On the walls of Minas Tirith, Men ducked from what is flying in amongst them - the heads of Faramir's soldiers. Meanwhile, Denethor leant over Faramir's body.  
  
Denethor: My sons are spent...  
  
Bex: Wrong again.  
  
Denethor stumbled away from the litter that bore Faramir, torn with grief. Pippin ran to Faramir's side.  
  
Denethor: My line has ended!  
  
Bex: Wrong yet again!  
  
Pippin touched Faramir's brow.  
  
Pippin: He's alive!  
  
Bex: Corrrrrrrrrrect!  
  
Denethor: The House of Stewards has failed!  
  
Bex: Could you at least try to get the right answer?  
  
Pippin: He needs medicine, My Lord!  
  
Bex: Correct! 2 points to you Pippin!  
  
Denethor ignored both Bex and Pippin, and continued to stumble towards the walls.  
  
Denethor: My line has ended!  
  
Bex: You're not very good at this, are you?  
  
Pippin: calls My Lord.  
  
Denethor reached the walls. His eyes grew wide as he looked upon the massive army that stood at his gates. His mind broke and he went insane.  
  
Denethor: Rohan has deserted us.  
  
Bex: Well you didn't exactly help them, did you?  
  
Denethor: Théoden's betrayed me.  
  
Bex: No, no NO. Wrong. Just, listen to me for 1 second, yes?  
  
Denethor turned to look at her.  
  
Bex: 1. It was you who refused to light the beacons. 2. They are on their way, about 6000 of them. 3. You never went to their aid, so truthfully, there is no reason why they should ome to yours. Capish?  
  
Denethor paused, but thought the better of it than began to shout:  
  
Denethor: Calls to soldiers Abandon your posts! Flee! Flee for your lives!  
  
The Gondorian soldiers looked about uncertainly and in fear. Gandalf whacked Denethor in the forehead with his staff, then in the stomach, and the steward fell down in shock.  
  
Bex: Dude, you go Gandalf!  
  
Gandalf: Prepare for battle!  
  
Gandalf rode towards the outer defences.  
  
Bex: Come on, Peeps. To the wall! Defend the wall...  
  
Soldiers and civilians rushed about in fear and confusion.  
  
Gandalf: Return to your posts!  
  
Bex grabbed someone who was running in the direction of the nearest wall, seized his collar, spun him around and gave him a good shove towards the outer wall.  
  
Bex: Its... THAT direction.  
  
Gandalf rode up the steps on Shadowfax onto the outer wall, to see the oncoming army.  
  
Gandalf: Send these foul beasts into the abyss.  
  
Rocks were hurled and pieces of buildings towards the Orcs with trebuchets.  
  
Soldier: Watch out!  
  
A rock flew towards the outer wall, flinging several people off of the wall. Bex, who had been up there, was just missed, but decided to get down nonetheless.  
  
Soldier: Down to the lower level. Quick!  
  
Before turning to go, Bex looked at who seemed to be the Orc leader. One rock came perilously close to killing him, who neatly steps aside at the last minute, and spat on it. Bex noted what he looked like. The Nazgûl on their fellbeasts then arrived, and struck terror in the hearts of the Gondorian soldiers, by picking up random Men and dropping them. Pippin appeared, holding his ears with his hands, to block out the sound of the Nazgûl cries.  
  
Gandalf: Hold them back. Do not give into fear! Stay at your posts!  
  
By now the siege towers are nearly at the wall.  
  
Gandalf: to the archers Not at the towers. Aim for the Trolls! Kill the Trolls!  
  
The siege towers now connected with the walls, the bridges on them destroying some of the battlements and Orcs began swarming in. Gandalf saw Pippin coming down the stairs towards him, closely followed by Bex.  
  
Gandalf: Peregrin Took, go back to the Citadel!  
  
Pippin: dazed They called us out to fight.  
  
An Orc headed towards Pippin, and Gandalf hacked its head off, killing it.  
  
Gandalf: This is no place for a Hobbit!  
  
The Wizard fought off several more Orcs, but one came up behind him while he was busy fighting another. Pippin, noticing this stabbed the Orc just as it was going to hit Gandalf. Pippin had a look of disgust on his face.  
  
Gandalf: smiling Guard of the Citadel indeed. Now, back! Up the hill! Quickly! Quick!  
  
Bex ran to the top of the battlements again, to see huge creatures pull the massive battering ram, Grond, towards Minas Tirith. It was shaped like a giant wolf, with flames licking inside its mouth.  
  
Armies of Sauron: chanting Grond! Grond! Grond!  
  
Gandalf looks down from the wall with great concern. Bex had an expression of sheer terror on her face.  
  
Several trolls pulled back Grond, then released it, hitting the gate with a heavy thud.  
  
Gandalf: Back to the gate! Hurry!  
  
Bex saw Pippin wandering up to the courtyard. She saw Denethor carrying a lit torch. Behind him followed guards who carried the litter with an unconscious Faramir on it. Denethor pushed open the doors to the House of the Stewards on Rath Dínen and entered.  
  
As much as Bex wanted to see what would happen, she decided against it, knowing that apparently 'Everything would turn out alright'. At least, that's what Keikæ said, along side many other things that may've helped Bex on her own. Bex could do nothing but trust her. Her attention turned back to the gates, where the Orcs were still attempting to batter the front gate down.  
  
Gandalf: Steady, steady!  
  
Grond's nose broke through, and the Gondorian soldiers look more than a bit scared.  
  
Gandalf: You are soldiers of Gondor. No matter what comes through that gate, you will stand your ground.  
  
The doors burst wide open. It was the most frightening and terrifying thing Bex had ever seen. Several Trolls in full battle armour carrying spiked clubs came rushing in.  
  
Gandalf: Volley! Fire!  
  
Archers shot at the Trolls, without much success. Fighting ensued.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
**A/N:** What d'ye think? Yeah, a little shorter than the previous two, but long enough. Please review and me a very happy Authoress! assbb!!  
  
Kess ;P


	23. Ow The Chapter Where I Kill Everyone Of...

**A/N:** Sorry about the long update. Wrote this on floppy, but my floppy drive blew up, so I had to find another computer. That means that until I can find another computer or get this one fixed, cahpter 10 of my other LotR story won't be up for a while. Sorry!!

elvenstorm: Yay! thank you!! Aw... he is, isn't he? Hope you had a great time in the lakes and Happy Birthday!!

Crecy: Nah, dude thas fine. A what what what what what? Thas... different... ºº

Alassea2: Oh yeah, there was, wasn't there? I vaguely remember them seeing some dead dude with his sword broken. No, thas completely my imagineation. Jeez, I need to read the books again...Yes, I 'll try to write them in if it pleases you... By the way, one of the guys that was killed in The Two Towers is twiddling his hair when he's meant to be dead. Why do I come out with such mindless crap?

Jupiter's Light: Eurgh you're too clever. Ah no! You're wrong because I've completely changed the storyline. Do you think I should show that chapter anyway at the end of the story?

Also thankyou to another two wonderful reviewers: Moralinde, Zeldagrl436(yay! You understand my speak!!) because I don't have time to write out answers and they need a mention. Alkso Happy Birthday to elvenstorm because (surprise surprise) it's her birthday and I love embarrassing her. I hope this chapter was worth waiting for. Ignore the rubbish title because I couldn't think of anything.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Chapter 23 – Ow

**Bex**  
  
She just stood there, having no idea what to do. Eventually she moved, and began to run away from the fighting, in the direction Pippin had gone in just a few minutes ago. She stumbled up the stairs and was nearly knocked flying as Pippin came rushing down them.  
  
Bex: Oi! Watch it!  
  
Pippin: Sorry, sorry Bex.  
  
Bex: Gandalf told you to go up to the citadel! Go! Now!  
  
Pippin: No. I was up there. Denethor – he's gone nuts, as you might say.  
  
Bex: Actually I would say he's lost his freaking marbles.  
  
Pippin: What?  
  
Bex: Keikæ told me about this.  
  
Pippin: But you don't understand! Faramir – he's-  
  
Bex: Way ahead of you bro – go find Gandalf.  
  
With a quick nod, Pippin went on tearing down the steps. Bex sprinted in the opposite direction, pausing when she got to the doors of the House of the Stewards, taking one last look at the chaos in the city, then pushed open the doors.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
**Laila**  
  
Laila smiled as she looked upon the tens of thousands of Orcs attacking the white city. Not exactly many, was it? One at a time – they'd eventually win. Grinning at this, Laila nearly fell off her horse when a few of the Rohirrim began blowing Horns. The ranks of the Rohirrim now formed a crest on the hill outside the Pelennor Fields. Théoden looks down on the thousands of Orcs, and scowled, realizing the battle could be won. His riders saw the same. The Rohirrim are about to lose what courage they had. People were beginning to look very strangely at Laila, the only person smiling.  
  
Éowyn: Laila! What are you doing?  
  
Laila: I'm smiling.  
  
Éowyn: Yes, but why are you smiling?  
  
Laila: I've finally worked out why the White City is called the White City. Because it's white.  
  
Éowyn sighed and shook her head. The words ''blonde' and 'weird' instantly came to mind.  
  
Éowyn: Courage, Merry. Courage for our friends.  
  
By now Théoden was riding to his captains and giving orders.  
  
Merry: What are they saying?  
  
Laila: Éomer, take your éored down the left flank. Gamling, follow the King's banner down the centre. Grimbold, take your company right, after you pass the wall. Forth, and fear no darkness!  
  
Merry: Fear no darkness!  
  
Théoden then rode in front of the Rohirrim, desperately attempting to bolster their courage.  
  
Théoden: Arise! Arise, Riders of Théoden!  
  
Laila: And of Keikæ.  
  
Théoden passed in front of Éowyn – Laila noticed she immediately tried to hide her face.  
  
Théoden: Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! A sword day! A red day! Ere the sun rises!  
  
Laila: That is true.  
  
The riders readied their spears, as did the Orcs.  
  
Éowyn: to Merry Whatever happens, stay with me. I'll look after you.  
  
Merry tried not to look nervous. Théoden rode in front of the horses, banging his sword against their lowered spears.  
  
Théoden: Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin, and the world's ending! Death!  
  
Rohirrim: Death!  
  
Éowyn gulped, looking just about as nervous as Merry was feeling.  
  
Théoden: Death!  
  
Rohirrim: Death!  
  
Théoden: Death!  
  
Merry and Éowyn: Death!  
  
Laila: Death? But I don't want to die!  
  
Théoden: Forth, Eorlingas!!  
  
Laila: Froth... What he said!  
  
Horns sounded. The Rohirrim charged. The Orcs readied to fire at them. The noise was deafening. Several thousand riders charged down the hill, many falling and bringing down others behind them.  
  
Merry: Death!  
  
More arrows were fired, and more Rohirrim fell.  
  
Théoden: Death!  
  
The faint call of 'Fire at will!' could be heard above the racket.  
  
Laila: Not death! Life of others! Does that make sense?  
  
More riders fell as another round of arrows were fired, but they charged on and Orcs began to back off. The Rohirrim charged into the Mordor armies with such a force that no Orc could withstand them. Laila seemed to be enjoying herself immensely – for once she had height advantage on someone, and enjoyed looking down at people. She was near the middle of the Rohirrim army, and so didn't have to do much fighting. She leaned forwards and took a look at the ground speeding past her. She then remembered that she was afraid of heights, and tried to look at the sky from then on.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
**Bex**  
  
Bex took one look at what was happening, then kicked the nearest guard in the stomach and nicked his spear.  
  
Bex: Oi Dude! What the hell are you doing?!  
  
Denethor: What does it look like Rebecca?  
  
Bex: It looks like you're about to burn yourself – and Faramir – alive.  
  
Denethor glared at her, then grabbed a torch from the nearest soldier.  
  
Denethor: That I will.  
  
Bex: Woah. Wait a se. You do know there's a phrase Ents use quite a lot. It goes like this: Don't be hasty. Just think of everything that would happen if you dropped that torch. Now, just give me the torch.  
  
Denethor: You must think me incredibly stupid.  
  
Bex: Er... Yes.  
  
He then dropped the torch. Flames immediately leapt up around him.  
  
Bex: O Shit.  
  
She jumped through the flames and kicked and poked Faramir off. She was about to thwack Denethor, too, if Gandalf hadn't come bursting through the doors on his sparkly horse. The rider took up a spear (from the guard on his left) and charged Denethor, knocking him off the pyre. Unfortunately (in Denethor's mind) The steward was far from being toast.  
  
Denethor: No! This is my choice! Mine! My way!  
  
Bex: You've flipped.  
  
Bex pointed the spear at the Steward. He called for his guards, but they weren't exactly sure what to do.  
  
Denethor: Mithrandir, this is because of you!  
  
Gandalf: Rebecca, could you please take Pippin outside, for a few minutes.  
  
It was more of an order than a request.  
  
Bex: Ok. muttering to Pippin Somehow I don't think this is going to be quiet.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-  
  
Laila**  
  
Laila stayed with the Rohirrim, still slashing away at the Orcs, who began retreating back to Mordor.  
  
Éomer: Drive them to the river!  
  
Théoden: Make safe the city!  
  
Laila: What he said!  
  
Everything stopped. Laila froze, then turned her head veeeeeeeeery slowly. Everything becomes silent. A huge group of Mûmakil, lining the horizon, ready for battle, approaching the Rohirrim. Théoden and his Men watched in fear as the giant beasts marched towards them.  
  
Théoden: Reform the line! Reform the line!  
  
Laila: Ogodogodogodogodogodogodogodogod. Not that I was ever religious.  
  
The riders fell back into position, and preparing to charge the Haradrim.  
  
Laila: Why the hell didn't I follow Keikæ?  
  
Théoden: Sound the charge!  
  
Horns sounded. Again.  
  
Théoden: Charge!  
  
It was practically suicide. The Rohirrim charged towards the Mûmakil, getting decimated by the strength and size of their opponents. It was almost impossible to avoid being hit – either by archers on the beasts, or the Mûmakil themselves. Laila tried to avoid everything, rather than fighting, watching the Rohirrim lose the battle. She then followed Merry and Éowyn, figuring that she might just be slightly safer with them. Laila drew horse up along side them. She could hear Éowyn giving orders to Merry, who seemed to be as clueless as Laila.  
  
Éowyn: Take the reins! Pull to the left! Left!  
  
Laila fell behind, attempting not to get in the way. Éowyn grabbed a second sword from an Orc, and riding between a Mûmak's legs, hamstrung it, causing it to fall. Laila only just got out in time, almost crashing into Merry, who had fallen off Éowyn's horse. Laila bent down to get Merry up on her horse. The faint call of "Bring it down! Bring it down! Bring it down!" could be heard, but otherwise, it was complete chaos. Laila handed the reins to Merry, hoping he knew how to control the horse better than her.  
  
Laila: To the right! Right!  
  
A nearby Mûmak fell, nearly landing on Éowyn. Their horse fell too, and Éowyn narrowly misses being landed on, by rolling away.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-  
  
Bex  
**  
Orcs and trolls were everywhere. Having broken through with Grond (Who would bother naming a battering ram?) the Orcs were now attacking the next level of the city, and once again, soldiers were waiting behind the gate, ready to attack. Bex perched on a wall, next to Gandalf and Pippin, watching, and waiting.  
  
Pippin: I didn't think it would end this way.  
  
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.  
  
Pippin: What? Gandalf? See what?  
  
Gandalf: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.  
  
Pippin: Well, that isn't so bad.  
  
Gandalf: No. No, it isn't.  
  
Bex: Anyway, it ain't the end, so no worries.  
  
They smiled slightly at each other. The Orcs had nearly broken in. Gandalf nodded, and Pippin tightens the grip on his sword. Bex did the same, not liking what was about to happen.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-  
  
Laila  
**  
Outside the gate, the Rohirrim grimly continued to fight on, knowing they were literally fighting a losing battle. Laila thought over what Keikæ had said., whispering quietly "Théoden."  
  
Théoden: Rally to me! To me!  
  
Laila arrived near him and looked up. Théoden turned around too, now aware of the presence of the Witch-king. The Witch-king came down and would have knocked down Snowmane and Théoden, had Laila not stepped in. .She took over the reins and somehow managed to get the horse to do what she wanted it to do. Merry was thrown off when the horse reared up, though Laila somehow managed to stay on. It had been a pretty stupid thing to do, but it was enough. The fell beast rose higher and the King ad not been touched.  
  
Merry: How did you know? How do you always know?  
  
"Keikæ." Laila said simply and grinned.  
  
Éowyn: LAI-  
  
Laila only had time to turn when she heard Éowyn. The fell beast collided with her horse and they both went – literally – flying. There was a loud thud as she hit the ground. Laila instantly found it hard to breath, as if there was a great weight or pressure on her. She opened her eyes and found that she could see was blue. Just blue. With a light bulb in the middle.  
  
Laila: Hang on. That's the sky.  
  
She turned her head so she could now see a green strip down the right hand side of her vision. Grass? Maybe. It seemed to be turning. No, that was all in her head. It couldn't be turning. But it was. Laila gasped as she pushed herself in to a sitting position. She felt very disorientated - dizzy too. Laila blinked to clear her vision. At that moment, for a second a shadow passed over her. The Nazgul... the fellbeast... _Théoden_. She jumped to her feet remembering what had happened.  
  
She grabbed her sword, which had conveniently landed a few feet away from her. Any pain she could feel a few minutes ago seemed to have instantly vanished – she felt nothing. Nothing would stop her. She could see the King on foot, unarmed, backing away from the fellbeast.  
  
Laila: Éowyn! This is your cue! Where the hell are you!  
  
Laila waited. She would come in any minute now. Laila watched and waited. _Any minute now_.  
  
Théoden stumbled backwards, knowing if someone didn't step in, he would die.  
  
_Any minute now... Any minute now...  
  
_He could no longer go back. He was trapped.  
  
_She wasn't coming._  
  
Laila: To hell with it!  
  
The fellbeast attempted to strike, missed, foolishly leaving its neck exposed. This was her chance. Laila ran forward and beheaded it in two strokes. The beast fell about and landed heavily.  
  
Laila: One down, one to go.  
  
Witch-King: No one comes between a Nazgul and his prey.  
  
Laila: Oh. Sorry to disappoint you mate, but I can and I am.  
  
The witch-king stood in front of her, a flail in its hand. Laila gulped. This was not what she had bargained for. She leapt to the side, avoiding the first blow. She was then forced to drop as the Witch-King took another swing at her. Laila groaned and rubbed her elbow, finding she had landed on something hard. A shield, in fact. Something she had no idea how to use. She raised it, a little happier that there was now a plank of wood as well as thin air between her and random-freaky-undead-dude-#1. The Witch-King then hit the shield, which completely shattered. Laila fell, crying out, and clutching her arm...  
  
Laila: Where the hell is Keikæ when you need her?  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-  
  
Keik  
**  
Head Orc: Late as usual, pirate scum! There's knife work here that needs doing. Come on, ya sea rats! Get off your ships!  
  
I stood up on the rail when I heard this, confirming we had finally arrived at our destination.  
  
Keikæ: Oi! Pirate – that's true. I'll occasionally accept Scallywag, but Sea Rat? That's just harsh.  
  
Head Orc: Wha- ?  
  
I hopped down after the other three.  
  
Gimli: muttering to Legolas There's plenty for the both of us, may the best Dwarf win!  
  
Keikæ: Or elf, as the case may be.  
  
I drew my sword and joined in the charge with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, shortly by the Dead, who I noticed had the wonderful ability to walk on water.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-  
  
Laila  
**  
Laila looked up in horror as the witch king approached. Her sword lay on the ground. She was defenceless. The Witch-King grabbed hold of her neck.  
  
Witch-king: You fool, no man can kill me! Die now...  
  
Laila: Merry! This is your cue! Merry? MERRY!!  
  
The Witch-king gave out a shriek, as a blade appeared through its chest.  
  
Laila: To herself That's odd. I thought Merry was smaller than that.  
  
The Nazgul fell to its knees, low enough for Laila to see Théoden wrench his sword out of the Witch-King.  
  
Laila: Ah. I see you've found your sword.  
  
Théoden smiled slightly.  
  
Laila: Good for you. To Witch-King Now that you're the same height as me, I'll say this: Fine matey, because in case you haven't noticed, I'm a woman.  
  
With gritted teeth, Laila seized her sword and stabbed at where the Witch- King's face would be. Excruciating pain shot up her arm, and she fell to the ground in agony, watching , but the Witch-king withers and crumpled into nothing with a shrill cry.  
  
Laila: Ow. That hurt.  
  
Éowyn finally arrived with Merry.  
  
Éowyn: Laila? What has happened?  
  
Théoden: Éowyn? What are you doing here?  
  
Laila: Hi. I'm just going to leave you two to talk a sec.  
  
Laila gasped, froze and looked down. Blood was seeping through her shirt. She broke off the end of an arrow, and threw it on the grass. She then dropped to the ground, closing her eyes for what may be the last time.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-  
  
Keik  
**  
It had seemed hopeless at first, but now we actually seemed to be winning, I was beginning to find it fun. At least, I couldn't get bored of Legolas' and Gimli's competition.  
  
Legolas:15, 16...  
  
Gimli:17...  
  
Keikæ: 29...  
  
Gimli: 29? I'll have no Pirate Girl outscoring me! 18, 19, 20....

Keikæ: Pirate Girl... I like it? 34...

Legolas: How did you get from 29 to 34?

Keikæ: Well, I've got a deal with one of the dead dudes. He's using my knife because he lost his sword, and since he doesn't exist, my knife is killing orcs, so I have technically killed them. 43!

Legolas: Pirates...

Aragorn: Legolas!  
  
I paused, attempting to keep out of the fighting for a second. I let Legolas do his thing, ending with sliding off the Oliphaunt's trunk.  
  
Keikæ: Impressive.  
  
Legolas: Thank you.  
  
Gimli: That still only counts as one!  
  
Keikæ: Dude I love that line!!  
  
Haldir: There's only one person I know who says that.  
  
Keikæ: Haldir!  
  
Ilréthiel: Keikæ!  
  
Keikæ: Ah! Too many people!!  
  
Gimli: No! Not more elves!  
  
Keikæ: Dude, what's wrong with elves? Anyway, what are you doing here?!  
  
Ilréthiel: As you would say, it's a long story.  
  
Keikæ: That figures. Whoa! Elephant thingy nine o'clock!  
  
Gimli: You're mad! It isn't even evening!  
  
Something caught my eye further away. The Witch-King, to be precise. I watched for a second, knowing Éowyn would 'win'. The tall black figure fell. I mentally cheered for Éowyn, and reminded myself to buy her a drink later. Éowyn straightened up. A tall figure with long blonde hair approached her, but the only person with longlong blondeblonde hair on the battlefield was Éowyn, unless Sauron had created a new breed of Orc.  
  
::WOO!! GO LAILA!!::  
  
Laila fell. This couldn't be happening. I felt a bit more than slightly confused. Why had she fallen? She couldn't have been hurt. I looked in that direction again in hope of getting a suitable explanation. A soldier over there simply dropped too. It was as if everyone was playing wink murder.  
  
::The Haradrim.::  
  
It had to be. They had shot Laila. They had shot Laila. They had hurt her – maybe even killed her. They would pay.  
  
I grabbed my sword, grabbed a spear lying on the ground, hit Gimli over the head, then ran onto the tower of the Oliphaunt Legolas had just killed. I counted to three, then dug the spear into the side of the charging Mumak, and held on for dear life. I then pulled myself up and grabbed onto the leather strap that held the tower to the animal. When I finally reached the tower I began hacking at the Haradrim, attempting to reach the top.  
  
Keikæ: 47, 48, 49...  
  
I jumped up to the very top level – a sort of platform. There wasn't enough room to swing a ferret. I had one peaceful second to admire the view. One perfect second. Before I had to dodge to the side to avoid a blow. His weapon hit the wooden bar, splintering it. There was now nothing between me and a 60ft drop. I briefly looked down, but the only thing I saw was green, red and a blonde dude riding alongside. I turned and lifted my sword and blocked another blow. At that moment the whole tower lurched to the side and I found myself thrown into one of the three remaining sides of the platform. Luckily it had thrown him off, and I could now enjoy the view for another three seconds, but it seemed he had taken my sword with him too.  
  
::Brilliant.::  
  
I grabbed the nearest thing that would be remotely useful – a flagpole – and began to make my way down. I jumped onto the back of the Mumak and took out the driver with the pole. I looked down to see if the blonde dude was still there. He was, and seemed to be gesturing for me to jump. I rammed the pole into the beast's head and jumped, landing where I had not intended to land.  
  
::Ow.::  
  
I rolled over and picked myself up. At least I wasn't landed on. I grinned. I could hear a horse trotting towards me, and looked up at Haldir.  
  
Keikæ: Oh, so it was you who gave me the crazy idea to jump.  
  
Haldir: Well it worked, did it not?  
  
I grinned again. He smiled too, though it quickly faded. He leapt down and drew his sword.  
  
Haldir: Keik-  
  
::Ah.::  
  
I gasped, then fell to my knees, as pain shot up my left leg. I turned my head and saw the grass was covered in blood where I was. I kicked out, realising someone, or something was behind me. My foot connected with a head – an orc's head, I later discovered. I looked down, and slowly pulled out a short dagger that had been pushed into the back of my lower leg. I looked up and saw Haldir standing, sword lowered with a shocked expression on his face. I closed my eyes and remembered no more.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
A/N: MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!! Shall I kill them? I know what I'll do. Do you think I should kill them? Sorry this chapter is a bit all over the place. It's not very well written, so I apologise for that.  
  
Assbb!!  
  
Kess ;P


	24. The Last Debate

**A/N**: Quick update to make up for the long one last time....As with my other story, I've had to change the format back from Script format because script format isn't allowed. (Basically I don't want this story taken down because I've already had 1 story taken down and if I break any more rules I'll get chucked off and my account deleted etc.) This is now all in Keik's eyes as they're no longer split up.

Review answers are the bottom because you've all been commenting on Laila, so if I answer your reviews here, it'll give it all away.  
  
**P.S** I know the time and all that lark doesn't tie in with the books, but you're just going to have to bear with me.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
Chapter 24 - The Last Debate  
  
I was awake. That was good. It meant I wasn't dead. Unless I had died, but was waking up in another life. I ignored this idea; it was too complicated for my confused and frazzled mind at that particular moment.  
  
My eyes were closed, but I knew I was no longer on the fields. It was silent, save for breathing. The place smelt fresh and helped clear my head. I kept my eyes closed, trying to remember what had happened. I vaguely remembered something about the Haradrim. I had been on a field. A big field. Pellenor fields - that was it. The Haradrim.... I had attacked them in some way. I think.  
  
"What ever possessed me to attack them?" I muttered to myself. Even as I said it the whole unpleasant experience came back to me, from beginning to end. I opened my eyes.  
  
::Eesh bright light bright light.::  
  
And a person. It was Aragorn.  
  
"You know, I never thought I'd be happy to see your face." I murmured. Aragorn smiled.  
  
"I see you still have your sense of humour."  
  
"If you can call it that." I replied in a serious voice. There was silence for a second, then we both cracked up laughing.  
  
"Athelas?" I asked.  
  
"Yes. I didn't know there was any where you came from."  
  
"There isn't, or at least not that I know of. Best incense in Middle Earth." Aragorn looked confused. "Don't ask."  
  
"I shan't."  
  
I waited for a second. There was 1 question I wanted to ask him, but I didn't know how, and in some ways, I didn't really want to know the answer.  
  
"What.. erm... What of Laila?" I asked., dreading the answer.  
  
Aragorn froze, not quite knowing how to answer. His silence confirmed my worse fears. Bex opened the door. She looked like she had been crying, her eyes red.  
  
"She's- she's..." Bex seemed unable to say it. and stuck to : "DOA."  
  
I buried my face in my hands and cried silently, as if trying to hide from the truth, from the rest of the world. Bex sat on the bed beside me and hugged me. I just stayed as I was, curled up, grieving for my lost friend.. Aragorn left the room and closed the door silently behind him.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-  
**  
"Bex," I said. "What happened after I fainted? And what of Théoden?"  
  
"Théoden survived, you'd be happy to know. Éowyn's fine as is Merry and Laila and Théoden together destroyed the Witch-King. I think it's called. Looks like your 'prediction' was wrong." I smiled slightly. "Haldir carried you in. You looked pretty terrible. I came running to the gates to meet you. That's about all that happened. The dead vanished, as if blown away and we had victory. The remains of Sauron's army ran, though most were hunted down by the Rohirrim. That's it. Though I don't really think it was victory. Not for us anyway. Why should we pay for freedom with so many lives? "  
  
"I wish Laila's here Bex."  
  
"Yuh. I wish that too."  
  
I held her hand, holding onto the last connection to my old life. For once she was like the eldest of us, comforting me as if I were still a child. But did I really want my life in London back? We never did anything good or anything to be proud of. We had acted like idiots for years. I didn't want that sort of life. But I didn't want this life of war and death and grief either. So what did I want?  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
In a couple of days I was able to walk, though I stayed in my room most of the time. I quietly did what I was told for once, and Bex stayed with me most of the time.  
  
I was alone, sitting on the bed,, leaning against the wall with legs stretched out in front of me, staring at blankly the opposite wall, the same thoughts running through my head.  
  
::Why?::  
  
I continued staring at the wall.  
  
"Why, why why?" I subconsciously whispered.  
  
"Why what?" A voice asked.  
  
I snapped put pf my day dream to see Haldir standing in the doorway.  
  
"Why did she have to go? I mean, did she even have to go? What did anyone gain out of it? Just another life thrown away. Just one life out of so many." Haldir came over and sat down next to me. "It's like, she's just there every day, and then she goes. She takes nothing with her, just leaves everything behind as it always has been, and disappears. She's just gone. Her life snatched away in a second. She had no choice, she didn't want to die. Why her? Why her?" Silent tears of grief rolled down my cheeks. The Elf wrapped his arm around me, stroking my hair. I lay my head on his chest and drifted to sleep.  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
I opened my eyes. Bright sunlight was streaming through the small window. It must be morning, then.. I looked up. Haldir was still here. I had expected him to go when I fell asleep.  
  
I knew elves slept with their eyes open, but seeing him asleep like that... just a bit creepy. I removed one of my arms from around his neck (I don't know how it had got there in the night) and waved my hand in front of his face. He didn't move a muscle. I shrugged and leant against him again.  
  
He stirred and looked at me. It wasn't really like waking up, No change had happened to him.  
  
::Weird.::  
  
"Did I wake you?" I asked.  
  
"No" He replied, smiling. I smiled back and sat up properly. We sat in silence for a time, both of us lost in our own thoughts.  
  
"Are you OK?" He asked me.  
  
"Yep. Fine. Why?"  
  
"No reason. Last night you seemed to be upset."  
  
"Yuh. I'm fine." Pointless conversation, but neither of us really knew what to say.  
  
Haldir got up, making for the door.  
  
"Sorry - did I say something?"  
  
"No, not at all,2 He replied, "I've just got to go. No fault of ours."  
  
"And?"  
  
"If you must know there's a debate going on."  
  
"Go on." I said.  
  
"And I have to go."  
  
"I figure there's a lot more to it than that. Can I come? Please? Like, I can wakl and I'm perfectly fine and all the rest of it."  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-**  
  
We were in the Citadel. There were only a few of us; The ramainder of the Fellowship minus the hobbits, Théoden annd Éomer of Rohan, Hladir, and of course Bex and I.  
  
"Frodo has passed beyond my sight." Gandalf said, "The darkness is deep."  
  
"If Sauron had the Ring, we would know it." Aragorn said.  
  
"Yeah, but it's only a matter of time." I said before Gandalf could get there. "Apologies. Please continue."  
  
"Keikæ is right. He has suffered a defeat, yes, but, behind the walls of Mordor our enemy is regrouping."  
  
"Let him stay there. Let him rot! Why should we care?" Gimli said.  
  
::Typical dwarf.::  
  
"Because in case you haven't noticed Gimli, Frodo and Sam are attempting to get to Mount Doom, and I think 10,000 orcs will be a bit of a setback for them." I said then stopped. "Gandalf this is your cue."  
  
"Well you seem to know everything I'm about to say."  
  
"Yeah, but technically only you or Elrond can say this bit."  
  
"Then please stop saying my 'lines'!"  
  
"Sorry. Please continue."  
  
"Thank you." Gandalf sighed, then continued from where I had left off, "I've sent him to his death."  
  
" No." Aragorn said, "There's still hope for Frodo. He needs time, and safe passage across the plains of Gorgorath. We can give him that."  
  
"How?" Bex asked.  
  
"Draw out Sauron's army." I said. "Sorry - your bit Aragorn."  
  
"Draw out Sauron's army. Empty his lands. We will gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate."  
  
::How come he can say that so much better than me?::  
  
Gimli coughed. I wasn't really surprised. This dude was asking us to commit suicide.  
  
"We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms." Théoden said.  
  
"Bex, is it me, or is Théoden now nicking his nephew's lines?"  
  
"Not for ourselves, but we can give Frodo a chance if we keep Sauron's eye fixed upon us -- keep him blind to all else that moves." Aragorn explained.  
  
"A diversion." Legolas said.  
  
"Thank you Captain Obvious!" Bex said. I hid a smile behind my hand. Haldir seemed to be doing the same.  
  
"Sauron will suspect a trap." Gandalf said quietly, "He will not take the bait."  
  
"That's what you think."  
  
"Certainty of death, small chance of success. What are we waiting for?"  
  
**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-  
**  
**A/N:** DOA stands for Dead On Arrival people.  
  
Er kinda mucked that up at the end... Was going to put it in the extra chapter at the end, as this would be what would be happening had Laila survived, along with the final ending that's stored in my head because it somehow got wiped off my hard drive, along with the rest of my stuff. Hope you don't mind that I killed off Laila. (Sorry Moralinde!) She was getting a bit annoying.

Karone: Yuh, good point. But seeming as this is through Keik's eyes and I had no idea where this story was going when I first named it, it doesn't really matter. No, that doesn't make sense. Ok, I'm confused. Anyway, I'l _try_ not to kill off Keikæ....

elvenstorm: Well, you'll be happy to know I didn't kill Keeks! Yet... I think you meant Laila....

Also thanks to astronema (go you!), Jupiter's Light (thankies), Allasea2(hehe... like to keep the suspense going...), zeldagrl436(sorry if the number's in the wrong order - brill review - 1 I understand!), Nick1 (oops... sorry) and Crecy (soz Crecy! I'll bring in E&E later 4 u instead!). YOU ROCK.

Have a good holz everyone. Next update not until 23rd at least (when I get back) but it'll probably be later because I have to write the next chapter.

assbb Peeps!

Kess ;P


	25. Words of the Wise

**A/N: **Sorry it's been a while. 2 holidays with 2 days in between.Short chapter I'm afraid, but I didn't have alot of time to type up alot. Anywho, enjoy.

elvenstorm: Yeah me too, though I kinda don't know why.

Thank you Jupiter's Light for your... er... _interesting_ review.

xkuroxshinobix: 'Cos she was getting annoying and had nothing to do with the storyline.

Ta Moralinde! OC? Orange County? Argh! Need Coffee!

Allasea2: O yeah, forgot about that. Ah well, I can make it fit nicely into the storyline.... Haha GO ME!! Thanx

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

Chapter 25 - Words of the Wise

At that, the meeting ended, and I dragged Bex off to attempt to find out what had happened to him.

"Ok, so everything went according to plan?" I asked Bex, hoping the answer would be yes.

"Well, ont exactly."

I gave Bexa look that clearly said: 'Tell me or I'll eat you.'

"ok, well Steward headcase did eventually die, and yes he did burn himself, though not exactly in the way I think should have happened."

"Go on." I said. Bex took a deep breath.

"Ok, well I Saved the Robin Hood Dude by shoving him off the fire, then Shadowfax kicked Denney's ass and he came off the fire too then Pippin and I then left for a time for Gandalf to deal with the psychopath but I came back to see if the wizard was still alive and found he was absolutely fine, but Denney was sulking in a corner so I offered him a cigarette and he said yes, though I don't think he knew what it was, then I lit it for him and he choked on it and everything went pear shaped and he ended up setting fire to himself 'cause he was still drenched I oil and he went psycho and jumped off the roof and I pretended I had nothing to do with it and I am really really sorry." Bex concluded.

"Ok, now you can breathe." I said. "Hang on - you don't smoke."

"I know."

"Then why were you carrying cigarettes?"

"Good question. I'll tell you the answer once I find out."

"No, I mean how did you get them?"

"Laila gave them to me."

"But Laila doesn't smoke either." I said. Bex tried focusing on the floor. Very uninteresting. "Doesn't she?"

"Well, she gave up for a time, but she knew you wouldn't like it, so she kinda smoked when you weren't around."

I sighed. It made a lot of sense and explained strange things that had happened back home. "One of the many secrets of Laila. Most which I'll never find out." I muttered to myself.

"I wish she was here, Keeks. It would make things so much easier."

I stayed silent.

**-x-x-x-x-x-**

Some time later, Bex found Keikæ in her room, staring into space.

"Knock knock? Anybody home?" Bex asked.

"Yeah." I said absent-mindedly.

"What's up Keeks? You never lock yourself away unless you're sad or depressed."

"Damn. You know me too well." I said.

"Well then, what is it?"

"I can't go. I can't go to the last battle." I said quietly.

"Tha's a bummer."

"Yeah. I can't walk the distance and even if I could ride there, I wouldn't be able to fight on foot easily."

"Hell. I'm sorry Keikæ, I really am."

"I know." Short uncomfortable silence. Stare into space and look stupid.

I started thinking of Laila. Why had she gone? Why wasn't it Éowyn and Merry that destroyed the Witch-King? I sat bolt upright as I remembered something else.

"Éowyn can't go to the Black Gates." I said suddenly.

"What?"

"She can't go. In the books, as far as I can remember, the whole point of her defeating freaky dude was so that she would get injured, stay in Minas Tirith, and get to know the Son of Mister Psychopath."

I took a while for Bex to take this in. After a few seconds something clicked and her eyes widened as she finally got it.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. We have to find her."

Bex pulled me upright and made for the door. It swung open and she came face to face with Éowyn, who had her hand raised, as if she was about to knock.

"Oh look - I've found her Keikæ!"

"Blonde Brain." I muttered to myself.

"Hello?" Éowyn started, "Sorry have I interrupted something?"

After a number of reassuring 'No's from Bex and I we invited her in.

"Keikæ, I know you want to go to war. Either for revenge or your friendship with Bex or another reason that I do not know, it is obvious and I do not think anyone has the right to stop you. Seeing you, seeing your friendship with Laila and Bex, it has made me realise what I really want from life. I simply want to be happy, free, to be healed, and going into battle would now do nothing for me. I admired Laila for her courage and for her unbreakable friendship with you two, and I think you should go to war if that is what you really want."

Short silence. Feel uncomfortable. Don't know what to say.

"Wow nice speech." Bex said.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

"But what I really wanted to ask you," Éowyn continued, "Is if you would want to go instead of me."

I was lost for words. So instead I Hugged her, whispering: "You are the best."

Éowyn looked slightly surprised at first, but smiled.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

**A/N:** Yup, Short one peeps. Next chapter will be out much sooner as I'm going back to school and will have more time to type stuff up.

assbb


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